Does the character of a man actually matter to a woman?

Question

I'm looking for serious answers here. Nothing along the lines of "duh" or "of course".

I'm just wondering, because I haven't been able to find a woman who thinks that it's important for a man to live his life with integrity. Most women that I know think that it's great when a man is unfaithful, lazy, bullying, and dishonest in general. They view him as being a "bad boy" who has "edge" and is a "challenge".

On the other hand, a man who is confident, mentally and physically healthy, a community leader, intelligent, romantic, honest, and would be a devoted husband and father, is seen as "boring" and "too nice".

Why is this? Do these women have low self-esteem and think that they don't deserve better . . . or, do men of integrity have to start being losers in order for women to appreciate them?

I look forward to your intelligent and well-thought-out answers

Answer 1

Yes, well the ones you deserve will. Some women have a sex-in-the-city type of education on men and do not seem to be well adjusted for a normal relationship. There are many "girls" out there that seem to look like women but are not mentally there yet.

I had to go through a really bad relationship before I realized I deserve better and acknowledged it a fairly young age of 20.

All you can do is keep trying!

Good luck and Happy Holidays

Answer 2

It's funny how so many women say they value and seek the things you speak of, yet show evidence to support the opposite conclusion. Being a woman myself, I can say that integrity, honesty, fidelity and much of what you have said are of great importance to me. I believe that there are far better ways to be interesting than by being an ar$ehole.

As for attraction in general, there's a certain biological component that transcends all sense and reason, and this usually puts people in tricky positions with dodgy people, and they find they're not sure how to get out. (Been there, done that, and don't plan to stick around long if it happens again!) Then, of course, there's the 'better the devil you know' thing. Some people have experienced certain crappy behaviours from someone in thier lives and keep reliving it, as though they can eventually resolve it. (Doesn't generally work, either.) Others consider that there's no better out there than what they've got, and accept the flaw.

That some women consciously go after men with obviously appalling character traits is beyond me. The challenge of taming or changing the person, as you say, may be a factor. History has proven, I believe, that going into a relationship with a view to changing your partner invariably leads to failure. Personally, I would accept character flaws that show indifference to the same things I am indifferent about, but when it comes to the big stuff, like fidelity and generally honourable traits, I'm not flexible. He must have them... Hence, I got me a good bloke along those lines.

This sounds suspiciously like a question my brother would ask...

Answer 3

I think one of many answers lye in the age group of your search. In general, women in their 20's are indeed looking for a bad boy. Why? Simply, self image. Women in their 30' are comfortable with bad boys because it is what they know, however begin to long for a more "secure" relationship. (that's where men like yourself come in). Thirty something women are longing for finally, continuity. But beware, always date someone at least 2 years before considering a commitment. Someone may surprise you, and hopefully for the better. By NO means stop being a gentleman! You will exert too much mind power on silly games that you cannot do anyway. Save the mind power for realizing your professional and personal dreams, and this in turn will save your heart from glazing over and perhaps missing the ONE. Happy living, even during the quiet times.

Answer 4

okay, all women are different and some do like the whole bad boy image but get bored very fast. Theses are usually young women who think bad boys are romantic. As women grow older they realize that better aspects of men are loyal, faithful, kind, romantic and honest. some women will never stop being attracted to bad boy image but most women stop wanting that after they start dating a few men.

Answer 5

I don't know where you got your information about women's preference for liking "unfaithful, lazy, bullying and dishonest men.

I think most women would prefer a leader, "intelligent, romantic and honest man"

You must think all women are bad. Please change your method of meeting them.

For instance try a library or a theatre where you will find someone with the interests that match your own.

Answer 6

You know what, don't even worry about the type of women who are losers and do not appreciate a real man. Why is it that all these losers begin to appreciate real men after dealing with all the "bad boys"? You can just chaulk it up to immaturity!

Answer 7

It seems to me that you're basing your assumptions about women on a very small, immature and/or neurotic group. Usually, after the age of say, 27 or so, women STOP being attracted to the so-called 'bad boy' idea, and start considering the character of their prospective mates using what we would consider to be wiser, more mature criteria. If you're meeting primarily younger women, or women who are in any case less sophisticated, emotionally mature, educated and substantial, you probably WONT find one who is looking for the traits that you clearly feel YOU exemplify. Perhaps all you need to do is narrow your pool of prospective dates to women of substance.

Answer 8

Not sure where you are looking for potential mates, but I dont know any woman that wants a sorry man. I know plenty who will take care of one, but they-themselves-are sorry. Like minds attract.

To any of my friends, who are confident women, would love a man like you because you are trying to do right and life your life with integrity. Dont sell yourself short. Change your surroundings for looking for women (stay out of the clubs).

Answer 9

I'd rather be single indefinitely than be with some scumbag. I wish I could say the same for most women.

Answer 10

I guess so after all you live with that men... of course you may also want just one night stand:)