No desire to date, or start anything new. Any suggestions?? How long will I be in mourning? Is there a certain amount of time? Am I normal? Or just depressed?
2006-12-09 05:45:43 · 15 answers · asked by sweetpea 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm not a doctor, but I would say depressed. Four years is long enough for you to have started looking again. It takes a long time to get over it, but four years IS a long time. Go see the doctor. You need to live, while you're alive! Good Luck!!
2006-12-09 05:50:49 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there is no time limit on how long u mourne, but u will stay in this till u decide to expect no more from him ever, till u stop blaming yourself for his choices. it is not normal to be sad for 4 years. u need some spiritual therapy, some friends, the longer u sit in the more chance u will become permanently depressed, eventually it could change things for the worse. u have to forgive the person who hurt u, doesn't mean they get off the hook, or that they didn't hurt u, means u expect no more from that person ever, and u get on with life. u will be in mourning as long as u allow it, has to do with what u are telling yourself, has to do with guilt, that u blame yourself for it, seek a support system, of people u trust, as u cannot get through this yourself. u long for the life u had before this, and it is not coming back, we have to accept things, as they are, not how we wish they were. your self worth has been damaged because of this loss, u wonder what u could have done to prevent it, but in reality there isn't anything you could have done. u need help with this, u need friends, and u need a new relationship, cause the old one is over with. sometimes things aren't meant to be and we wonder why and there is no answer to it. it isn't so much what was done to us, but how we handle the hurt. don't let what this person did to u, destroy your life, and keep u down. but u do have to get up and do something about it, u do have to put forth some effort.
2006-12-09 14:05:50 · answer #2 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is truly what I think.
I think you still have feelings for your ex-husband. First of all I want to tell you what happened to me. Over the summer, I went to a different country and to discover new things around the world. I first set my eyes on this lovely man. A week later, we met again in a shop, then started to hang out. But 1 month later, i had to return home. After returned home, I started to cry evry night to sleep. I still do since last year. I tried to forget about him but just couldn't. Until I figured out another way. I would just think about what and who I have. And be thankful. I would not think too much, reaching into a sad memory. The more you think, the more you'll think about the times you had with you-know-who. So sometimes, invite close friends and family over. Talk to them. Tell them how you feel. Hang out. Go out. Do something relaxing and that will help enormously! I mean it. Don't stress yourself out..ok? Just relax and listen to music or something... Try my suggestion and you'll feel better. Alright? I know how you feel. Trust me. This has happened before to many people.
2006-12-09 13:56:52 · answer #3 · answered by YodaYoda 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Recovery after a divorce takes time, but four years is too long to still be in the crying phase, I think. You probably ought to get yourself checked out medically.
(I am three years post-divorce. The crying phase lasted about a year. Then I started enjoying life again, started dating and got remarried recently.)
2006-12-09 17:13:21 · answer #4 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you might be depressed, that is why you have no motivation. Try seeing a doctor. 4 years is a long time to mourn.
2006-12-09 13:48:49 · answer #5 · answered by joyall57 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is hard on anybody but it has been four years i think it is depression,but you need to go out because how will you ever know if you still love him or if you will find somebody else to spend time with.
2006-12-09 14:15:15 · answer #6 · answered by BMan13 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are probably depressed sweetie. you have to let go. try to get some help, someone to talk to. if he's moved on and you have not that makes it alot harder, too. you have to pick yourself up girl and brush that sh** off! get a makeover go shopping, and go out and have fun!!! i've been through this personally, and being depressed over it only makes it worse. when a pet dies we try and replace it with another to help us forget and feel better. same goes baby! good luck!
2006-12-09 13:51:03 · answer #7 · answered by dottie n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you should be the luckiest woman alive. I WISH I can get to be where you are today! LOL! Get over it and stop moping around. You should be out there having fun and dating again. Life is too short to be wasting it on those tears.
2006-12-09 13:57:16 · answer #8 · answered by Common_Sense2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
while you are being depressed you are missing out on the next love of your life. the world is not over. sometimes men can really do you in and scar you, dont give him that much credit. love yourself you are only depressed as you think you are!
2006-12-09 13:54:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get over it and find a man thta will make you feel great..on that will take real good care of you
2006-12-09 14:18:05 · answer #10 · answered by nas88car300 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋