My boyfriend and I have been friends all throughout highschool and have been dating for a year and a half now about 2 yrs ago he was married and is now divorced...A part of me feels t hat he may still love her and i want him to love me completely and not to think about her...things went horrible with them so they got divorced...why am i soo insecure about her...does anyone else have this same problem if so please share it with me
2006-12-09 05:22:15 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you're from New England! We're the only ones that say wicked. So anyway, if he has told you or shown you that he has feelings for her then yes he still has feelings for her. If you're assuming he does because he just got divorced then where's the line drawn at what you believe and what really is true. Don't drive yourself crazy with the ex. does he keep bringing her up? When people break up, whether or not the relationship was good or not, they go through a grieving process, and considering he was with you so soon after he broke up with her, he could have been going through that process while he was with you. It doesn't mean he doesn't want to be with you or that he wants to be with her. other than the obvious signs of relationship trouble, you should be ok. Maybe you're insecure because maybe he's not as invested in the relationship as you'd like him to be, or you may need to talk about how to make it better.
2006-12-09 05:31:31 · answer #1 · answered by Brandnewshoes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husbands ex is a nightmare, she drug the divorce out for 2 and 1/2 years. She contested everything, because she didn't want him to get remarried. No I am not the reason for the divorce, we didn't meet until 2 years after they had been separated. It is only normal to feel insecure about the ex. Talk to your boyfriend about all of your feelings, ask him if he still has feelings for her. My guess is that he will always have some feelings, they have a past together. But you will need to clear the air if you want to be his future.
2006-12-09 05:31:27 · answer #2 · answered by Jinny E 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't have this problem personally, but lots of people do. I think he will always love her, but that doesn't mean he is "in love" with her anymore. There is a huge difference. He loves her because she is part of his past. He knows he cannot live with her...he tried that. You are his future. You need to get over your insecurities and be sweeter to him than ever. Jealousy is an ugly beast which will destroy your relationship. Lots of divorced people have to constantly see their ex because they have children together. Their new spouses learn to live with that for the children's sake. It is done all the time. You can't ever be sure someone will love you forever, but if you don't act like the bigger person, the unjealous, wonderful you...you may doom your own relationship.
2006-12-09 05:29:53 · answer #3 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
apparently there have been a lot of divorced women answering this question since they seem so adament that he will always love her...that is so NOT TRUE!!!! She is an ex for a reason!!! It is in my experience....alot of people get married...never loving the person they married....that's why they get DIVORCED in the first place...if there was ever any love there...or any love that was going to REMAIN...then they wouldn't of gotten divorced ...just know your man loves YOU, and wants to be with YOU now...and forget about her...I'm sure he has....and wants to forget about her as much as you do! GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-12-09 06:25:19 · answer #4 · answered by bella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing you're going through. I'm married to him now and I'm finally over the whole "he was married before" thing. He's with you now, there's a reason he divorced her. He loves you ....just remember that!
2006-12-09 10:13:45 · answer #5 · answered by dallas_chick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at it from her persepctive -- remember: You're the current girlfriend; she's the EX wife. He likes you now. He USED to like her. She's probably just as insecure about you, as you are about her.
Or, if she's completely over him, your presence in her ex-husband's his life doesn't matter at all to her.
2006-12-09 05:33:54 · answer #6 · answered by biiiiaaach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he loves you then you should trust his love. Accept the fact that he did love her and will always have some thought of her. As long as he is not seeing or speaking with her you should trust the love he has for you.
2006-12-09 08:33:34 · answer #7 · answered by angel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you just have to trust him he is with you now actions speak louder than words unless he talks about her a lot or you catch him talking to her without you knowing or if he spends time with her then thats another story but if he is not doing any of that then just trust him there is no relationship without trust
2006-12-09 05:30:33 · answer #8 · answered by lovingmychris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he was married to her he will probably always love her in a way, that does'nt mean that he does'nt love you, if he tells you he loves you and is there for you, that should be enough for you.wanting him to never think about her is not fair. do you never think about men you have loved in the past? think about your present, and your future, don't dwell on the past.
2006-12-09 05:26:43 · answer #9 · answered by sarah 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to your boyfriend about it. Most issues can be worked out by talking
2006-12-09 05:24:50 · answer #10 · answered by lefty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋