I lost my dad this year and so it is going to be the first Christmas without him. I feel like I am missing someone when I have bought all the Christmas gifts. Do you put anything on the grave to help you get through the holidays without the loved one? Please be nice on this one.
2006-12-09 05:04:01 · 15 answers · asked by ougal 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My dad died Nov 15th, right before Thanksgiving. My mom, and brothers and sisters are still trying to figure this out. A piece of us died with him. My dad loved Christmas, he wouldn't want us not to celebrate it. Before he died, he said to us "it will be really really bad for a while, but you will all get through this, and you will be ok". We are trying to hang on to his words. We are taking one day at a time, and none of us are sure of what Christmas day will bring for us. Thanksgiving day really sucked though. So I will keep coming back to read others answers to this question. I love my dad sooooo much, and I know he is always with me.
2006-12-09 07:32:57 · answer #1 · answered by tootsie38 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, honey, Sooooo sorry. Yes, it is tough when we lose a loved one. And the holidays do seem sad for awhile. I put a wreath on my parents' graves (they are buried a thousand miles from where I now live, so I have to do this over the phone with a credit card), and I put flowers on the alter at church in their memory, but mostly I give to charities at Christmas time in their memories. Also, I made tree ornaments with their photos on them so that they are always with me at Christmas time, looking down from the tree beside the angel. God Bless you. It will get easier each year, but this will be a hard one. If you are religious, you will feel better knowing they are in Heaven and still alive there.
2006-12-09 05:14:11 · answer #2 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what ur dad wants u to be happy and is probably excited to see u celebrate christmas without him in heaven, its all for he best just carry on cause u will be happy and he will be to so celebrate like every year, and as for the grave part just put flowers and pics of u and ur family during the christmas holiday
2006-12-09 05:08:02 · answer #3 · answered by mikysmith1234 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really am sorry to hear about your father. My family is going through a similar situation, we lost my grandfather on my side and my hubby lost his father.
What "WE" are doing is...each of them had "something" that was a constant throughout the holidays. For instance, my father in law ALWAYS would INSIST he "wasn't going to get a tree this year"..EVERY year he would do this (he was 81 when he passed-so you know how they get in their ways! lol) but then at the LAST minute, when the pickins were slim, he'd change his mind and want to go and get a tree....it would become his mission!
SO, we bought a young, small pine that is still in it's pot and since it is small enough to actually use as a centerpiece, we are going to decorate it and place it on the dinner table as if to represent his being there and being a part of Christmas dinner just one last time. Then we are going to plant it outside, like a living tribute to him, and decorate it together as a family every Christmas here-after both in his memory and to remember how Christmases past were with him here, re-telling all the funny stories and such.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours this holiday season.
2006-12-09 05:16:40 · answer #4 · answered by secret_oktober_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for you lost.Dad would want you to go on and have the best Christmas ever,try putting a small tree on the grave site with little decorations on it,so dad can see from the heavens.
2006-12-09 05:10:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't think about it as "without" him. You can still celebrate with him. The very fact that you acknowledge him at this time means you are including him. Perhaps you can buy a special decor with light, then unwrap it with him. You with your physical hands and he with spirit. Hang it up and watch it's light. So there will still be a gift for him that will also represent him. If when we pass our memories go to heaven, no matter what, then the light would be perfect b/c we all know that heaven is the most lit place in the universe. =)
2006-12-09 05:17:29 · answer #6 · answered by ConstElation 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my uncle, who I was extremely close to in 3-24-06. So I as well am spending this Christmas with the first time of him not being present with us. But I like to think that he is looking down on me and watching me everyday. I keep a journal and I write to him in it whenever I miss him. Write to him on Christmas. In a way he'll still be there because of you telling him about everything that happened.
2006-12-09 06:43:53 · answer #7 · answered by Finally FREE!! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost my parents 3 years apart. I understand why the holidays would be hard...you can put something on the grave if it makes you feel better..I sometimes put a pointsetta on theirs...just try and celebrate christmas...it's what he'd want....I know it's going to be hard to be festive..trust me i've been there....try and include his memory in your celebrations..buy a special ornament..they do have them for this sort of thing...focus on the holidays in the past.
2006-12-09 05:10:35 · answer #8 · answered by Syeira 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I'm sorry for your loss. Maybe it'd be a good idea to visit his grave on Christmas and give him really nice flowers. You could also buy a little gift for him, or write him a poem and read it to him on Christmas. I'm sorry I couldn't give you better advice, I haven't experienced that yet. Good luck and Merry Christmas.
2006-12-09 05:08:29 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know how you feel. i lost my dad in january as well. i would put some things on his grave such as a wreath or flowers. there are shepherd staffs you can buy that you can hang baskets on. or a permanant vase that goes on the grave so you can fill it at different occasssions.you will always keep him in your memory no matter the holidays. just show your love by putting things on his grave.
2006-12-09 05:16:09 · answer #10 · answered by jbearbooboo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋