When is it time for couple counseling?

Question

Can it help? Where do you begin? We've been together for a long time, 6 years in fact, not married, just coming off of a 'time apart' where she did things that I'm having a hard time dealing with. We live together right now but it hasn't been roses. We've been dealing with many issues, a lot of it seems to be me and my fault. Some people say that couple counseling can help, some people say that it can do more bad than good. Any experiences?

Answer 1

sit down and talk to each other and if yall don't solve your problems then then go to therapy and maybe yall can " solve" your problems then.

Answer 2

There are strong arguments on both sides about whether or not therapy works for couples.

My wife and I have been married for almost 6 years. We went to a counselor recently for the first time to deal with some problems we've been having trouble with for a few years. Shortly after the session we both agreed that we didn't like the counselor. This woman had all the credentials and experience but we felt she was simply following a script and had no genuine interest in us. Funny thing, discussing this and talking about what we each said during the session has brought us closer. I think my wife and I just needed to take certain steps together. The counselor did have practical advice about managing certain kinds of disagreements. And, just having an unbiased third party to talk to seemed to clear the air for us to think about the problems in a new way. However, that stuff can be found in some books. I've listed a very good one below that also helped us. Good luck.

Answer 3

I've never went to counsel ling as a couple but I think it could really help-couples need to be able to talk their problems through-sounds sensible-but harder done than said-often when you get to the sensitive areas it will turn into a "who fault" situation or a fight-that's when it would help to have a counselor to keep things at a level where they are being discussed not fought over,and they can help you find ways to deal with all that's happened.With all the problems and fights you to seem to see that being together is worth it but that wont be enough to hold it all together.I hope your hard times work for you and strengthen your relationship-and not destroy it.real love takes work and isn't all sunshine and roses-as you've found out the hard way.good luck

Answer 4

Dear Ivan64,
Counseling for anyone, for any situation will only work if the parties involved want it to. Ask yourselves, what do I want from this relationship? What do I want the end result to be if we go to counseling? The same goes for your girlfriend. It sounds like you have some hurt feelings about what she did while you two were separated...you will have to work through those issues, be it with a counselor listening or a friend. You and only you can change how you feel by changing your thinking and doing. A counselor or friend can only listen and help you brainstorm other options, YOU ultimately have the power of how you want to feel. Best wishes to you and your future and may you have peace and harmony and a partner to cherish for the rest of your life.

Answer 5

I think the time to see a couple counselor is now. It seem as if you 2 took time off and u still seem to be having some issues. I think it would help because maybe their are things u want to tell her or vice versa and the counselor can show you both how to express and communicate to one another. Right now stop blaming each other and go speak to someone if you are both willing to saty together to work things out. I wish u luck and hope things get better.

Answer 6

You should start marriage counseling before you get married, but if you didn't do that than you can start anytime...For us it's a good way to let some steam off and we always leave in a good mood...We counsel with our Pastors, they are husband and wife so we get it from a man and woman and someone who has been through the same things we are going through! They are very very good people and have been a blessing to us...

Answer 7

Alot of people now are going to couple counseling BEFORE they ever get married. That way they can learn more about each other, learn better communication, and learn how to argue constructively. It's never too late. Try it now. It works if you want it to work and if you allow it to work. It takes two to make the relationship and in most cases it takes two to break it.

Answer 8

Councilling can only help if your both determined to mend your relationship,It takes a lot of hard work and addressing your issues honestly, otherwise you may as well cut it off and move on to a happier relationship with someone else, someone who you wont have these issues with and loves you enough not to put you in this circumstance to begin with.

Answer 9

i dont need to read more then the title . the time for couple conselling is the moment you start to wonder when is the right time for that.
if i can just drill one thing into your head and your sposes head that is you two each one of you took a vow . find out what a vow is and then go get some one to help you two .
i hope you both have a wonderfull marriage that last as it should until one you is dead.

Answer 10

You can only try to actually find out for yourself. If you start to question if you need it then you really do need it. If in the end you don't go threw with it, you and your partner write letters to each other and just vent and get everything off your mind. Give them to each other but never verbally talk about it, just write. That has helped me in the past. Good luck

Answer 11

never needed counseling......have you ever thought you just arent good together. Do YOU really want to fix things? If it is all your fault im doubting counseling will help her. You can NOT change a person but you can influence them to want to change. Try it it may work but I havn't seen anyone benifit from it.