I have only been married 2 yrs. It seems that we have lost the glow and are really having to work on our relationship. Is it too early for this to start? I am very scared because this is a 2nd marriage for both of us. We are under a lot of strain with finances and our blended family issues. Between us there are 5 children, his ages 15, 12, and 4, mine 11 and ours is 10 mths.
2006-12-09 04:50:34 · 17 answers · asked by atlgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would first like to congratulate you on your marraige. You are both blessed with 5 beautiful children you have the honor to nurture. Something you must remember when having children is they will consume a greater part of your free time. Understandibly your age groups require a lot of activities and or attention. Teamwork is essential with your husband. Once again you got married for a special reason the love you both share for each other as well as the special bond of having children. I completely understand finances become somewhat difficult w/ so many responsibilities as well. You must defenitely set up a budget. Write out the main factors and or bills as well as setting up a kind of spreadsheet and or list with the details so as to set aside money for fun time.
The fact that you are concerned on the glow of your relationships shows that you love your husband however are a bit concerned over that supposed feeling. Well let me tell you having three kids myself and trying to keep my relationship on good vibe is difficult but as long as you both recognize it you will need to make time for each other.
Understandibly it is not like when we were single and we could go out all night, or just talk all night about this and that we literally have all our time consumed by life, kids, work and or other factors. However, you need to make time w/ your husband very essential. Do not allow for your little ones to always want to sleep w/the two of you at night. That can affect a marraige trust me. The bedroom should be the place you and your husband can try (based on the baby being up or not) to take you both to a relaxed mode. Try to embrace that as both you guys place for each other.
If you have family or trust worthy friends to give you both at least 2 hours a week or even a month to spend together alone. However I know sometimes that can be difficult but necessary to have time w/your mate. This way it becomes special.
God Bless your endeavors and challenges and ensure that your husband gets that special time w/you and in this way keep that dim light from completely dying away.
2006-12-09 05:13:46 · answer #1 · answered by Saena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my experience, things get tough for a couple when you stop communicating. Stress, financial difficulties, children can lead to this, because everyone has their own way of dealing with things. But the number one thing is to always talk and be open with your partner. My first marriage lasted all of 2 years, because that is one thing we didn't do, or at least not constructively. It's hard to have the same feelings for someone who you dont' relate to anymore. I am now married for the second time, going on six years and it's like we were married just last year. Sure, we have two babies now and financial issues but we make sure that we always have time for each other and be open about how we feel about things.
2006-12-09 13:47:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All marriages are different. I have been married for 4 years now and is now that things are starting to get better. For some in the beginning is all great and later comes the problems. I believe if in the beginning is tuff, good things come in later. Finances is a big challenge that all couples face no matter if married or not. Just hang in there, things will get better. try communicating with ur husband on a daily basis, even if its little things. Every moment counts, especially when their are children involved. Focus on ur family(ur husband, kids and he should do same)forget about outside family. With patience and communication i see good things coming your way. Good LUCK
2006-12-09 13:05:36 · answer #3 · answered by gonzalezleon3022 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well in this day in age fast pace weddings and divorces are the cream of it all. Since you two have 5 kids from different marriages there is definitely a stress factor there. The ex's of the previous relationship obviously want to see their children so that is an ordeal all in itself. So that maybe the problem, you do advancement in your arrangements of when your kids get to see his or her father, maybe that's why the glow is. I know you don't want to blame your kids, and they really aren't the problem but they are a factor.
2006-12-09 12:56:22 · answer #4 · answered by AnnaLee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the problems have already started, after only two years, then the future for this marriage is not good. Sit down and discuss your problems, and get them out in the open. See what, if anything, can make them better, and work on them. It usually takes about 7 years, for the problems to be as serious as yours are at two. Good Luck!!
2006-12-09 13:00:21 · answer #5 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Things get tough when money gets tough. Its hard to be happy when there are other problems. Try to work out each problem and remember the reasons you got married in the first place. Things will get better just communicate and be there for each other.
2006-12-09 12:58:29 · answer #6 · answered by Martin S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When the two of you no longer stand together as one to resolve the issues in your life together.You stop communicating with each other/lose focus on.What brought the two of you together in the first place?
2006-12-09 13:34:22 · answer #7 · answered by noga 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right after you say "I do".
That is not a crack on marriage. From the moment you make that commitment, you will be continuously challenged. It is how you handle those challenges that make a successful marriage.
2006-12-09 13:04:33 · answer #8 · answered by know_it_all_NOT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes alot of effort and work to keep a marriage!!!!!!!!!!! I know, mine didn't work out after 12 yrs...........
2006-12-09 13:11:53 · answer #9 · answered by VICTORIA L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mostly when you are marry for 7 years, there a thing called the seven years itch, if you survive that then you make it
2006-12-09 12:55:12 · answer #10 · answered by johnlee1049 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋