Please correct my essay?

Question

Due to the progress of information technology, the usage of computer technology is used more commonly in daily life. Computers may be used to support student learning in form of multimedia and web page. Internet can be used as a communication channel to student’s parent, such as Email, message board and discussion area. With the webcam installed, parent can observe the activity of their child in school through Internet. Teachers can obtain the information to assist their teaching or to contact parents through Internet. The purpose of this study is to explore how to set up guidelines of applying information technology to early childhood education in Taiwan and abroad. In addition, the advance information technology is in consideration to apply to early childhood education, such as using RFID technology to avoid the accident of child died in the school bus. The effects of the integration of information technology applied in preschool will be evaluated to look into the outcomes of learning attitude, social relationships with peers and achievement in preschool. Experiments will be conducted setting students of preschool as research objects; divided into two groups: one is the group integrated with information technology and the other is the traditional group. Research tools such as observation, achievement test and questionnaire are used to explore the issues.

Answer 1

Thanks to the progress of information technology, computer technology is now common in daily life. Multimedia and web pages now play important roles in education. The Internet opens new communication channels to parents via e-mail, message boards and discussion areas. With a webcam installed in the classroom, parents can observe the activity of their child in school. Teachers can go online for additional resources for lessons or contact parents through the Internet. The purpose of this study is to explore how to set up guidelines of applying information technology to early childhood education in Taiwan and abroad. School safety is also an issue: the use of information technology could possibly have helped avoid such incidents as the accidental death of a child in a school bus. The use of information technology in preschool will be evaluated to study its effects on learning attitude, social relationships with peers, and achievement. Experiments will be conducted setting students of preschool as research objects; divided into two groups: one is the group integrated with information technology and the other is the traditional group. Research tools such as observation, achievement tests and questionnaires are used to explore the issues