Serious question....serious answers only please!?

Question

I am 23 years old and just graduated with my bachelors degree yet feel like I am getting older and have got nothing accomplished with my life yet. I rarely dated and had few steady relationships because of college and now that I am out of college all I have is a degree...no fiance or someone to marry so I feel like I am not accomplishing anything. Is this normal to feel at 23 yrs old? Is it normal to not have had a real relationship at that age?

I'm female by the way :)

Answer 1

I am 35 and I have NEVEr had a real relationship..I can't even finish my college degree..Getting married at a young age is always "great"..Concentrate on getting a job and getting settled and then what happens will happen...I know somene who got married the first time at 40..You are still very young so don't rush things..People who get married at older ages are more mature and responsible and the marriage is more likely to last.

Answer 2

First thing you do is pat yourself on the back for accomplishing a degree. Second thing you do is pat yourself on your back because you have your whole life ahead of you. You have accomplished something that no one can take away from you...an education. Now that you have that education, you can start making a good life for yourself and when that right person comes along (and they will), you will not only have yourself to bring to a good relationship, but you will have the means to support a wife and someday a family. So many young people today put getting an education as a low priority. You did not do that. You should be very proud of yourself. As for not having a real relationship, it will come. You have to give it time. Make yourself available to places where you'd want to meet someone, that has the same desires and interest that you do. An old but true cliche'..the world in your oyster, take advantage of it.

Answer 3

Hey - stop worrying about what is "normal". Congrats on getting your bachelor's degree (unless, of course, it was in media studies - only joking . . .I think!) Ponder over what you want in life and take steps to achieve that goal. I would have thought that you should worry about career path first - the romantic aspects of your life can be fitted in around that. If you make yourself independent of "Mr Romance", then you can be more choosy about "Mr Romance" and be better able to pick and choose the blokes you really like.

Although I'm a bloke, I know from many years in business (plus having two daughters around your age) that love will come to those that develop into interesting personalities rather than being obsessed about not having had a true relationship. Don't turn down friendship possibilities (M or F) and you'll be surprised how you start to form "special" relationships with the right sort of guy..

Hell, I sound like an Agony Aunt!

Answer 4

I think you have to look at the situation a bit differently. At 23 you have accomplished something that the magority of people will never accomplish. A doctor goes to school for 10 years and may graduate when he/she is 28. They have accomplished the task of retaining the knowlege that is going to enable then to help hundreds of people throughout their life. Im assuming youre no doctor but youve made the same accomplishment as long as you use the knowlege youve retained to do something good. Enabling yourself to have the ability to help the world is one of the biggest accomplishments anyone can make. Now its up to you what you do with your knowlege and how much you accomplish for the rest of your life. As far as women go, you made the right choice with not being involved. A meant to be relationship will hit you like a ton of bricks. This obviously hasnt happened for you yet so the only relationshps you could have had would have been time consuming and eventually drama. If you want a girlfriend now to have fun with, cool. Just dont let it interfere with what youre going to go on to do. If you end up meeting the person for you thats great. Just dont rush it or you may end up slowing down your life progress trying to fix one huge mistake.

Answer 5

Hey listen your doing the right thing taking care of yourself first!! You are still young and have a lot to offer a person. Dont live your life for someone else, even if you do find that special person dont forget about yourself. You start going out with some of the people that you like hanging around with and just have fun!! You are doing the right thing and for you to say that you havent accomplished anything your wrong!! You have a bachelors, use it, work for something more!!
Who you have by your side dose NOT make you a better person, be happy and you will find someone to share your life with.
As far as normal.....What is that??? Dose anyone really even know what normal is??

Good luck sweetie!!!

Answer 6

Ha!! 23 years old?? That's all? You're only a quarter way through your misery (j/k). Still, you're very young, and you've gotten plenty of exciting years ahead of you, trust me, you're darned young. Men only get better in their 30's and 40's. Our fruits ripen much longer. Now that I'm a husband and recent father, all the sudden, and (unfortunately) all the chicks want a piece of me, maybe, it's the father thing. Yet, I haven't been happier in my entire life. Having a wife and baby at the right time is a beautiful thing, trust me. So when is the right time, you say? Now, just go out and do it, I say! Go find yourself a date, and don't hesitate. Just for the hell of it...You gotta date the not so good, to really get to the good.
Yeah, we all need a little practice( o.k. well, most of us). Hey, if you just don't go out and do it, but just hesitate, then you'll really feel time fly by, trust me. You're in the Pre Midlife Crisis.Then you'll realize 23 was really young when you're 33 or 43. Get the point? At every age you'll feel old unless you do something about, but complain. Well complaining is the first step, but the second is to do something about it, instead of contemplating of it. Hesitation?? Well, somebody's dating your girlfriend (future wife) RIGHT NOW!!! What you gonna DO about IT!!!??? Sit around and miss the boat???
....Been there, Done that......That's the attitude!!!!Just GO DO IT.

Answer 7

You're only 23, calm down. Now that your work in school is finished, go have some fun. Enjoy your weekends out with friends in bars or clubs. Meet some new people, then things will fall into place. Don't rush anything. At 23 you shouldn't have a fiance anyway. You have plenty of time for that later, just go enjoy life for a while.

Answer 8

My daughter will be your age in a few years and I anticipate that she will be asking me the same questions that you are asking now. And it isn't just that she does not have time for relationships but she is uncomfortable in them once they have begun. She sees her reason and logic for avoiding love clearly while looking through her own eyes at her own life but somehow that reason and logic skew when she regards all of her friends who have somehow managed both school and relationships. She wonders why she cannot find love too yet forgets that it is she who pushes it away in the first place.

I tell her often that she is the captain of her own ship as are you. It does no good to long for the shore when you have made the decision to sail. And yet twenty three is not too young to worry about the direction your life is taking. Quite the opposite, it is the perfect time to question what you wish to become and if, up until now, your life has felt empty of love then the time has come to find it. You must go to where love is. Set sail for that the rest will take care of itself.

Answer 9

Sounds to me like you got your life's priorities confused way back before attending college. Perhaps you were pressured by some overbearing personality or well meaning person into pursuing your career over your feelings. These feelings may have been a need to be loved and cherished by a man and making a life with a family as the core center of your happiness. The modern woman is to often influenced to be self dependent by not marrying before acquiring herself a career. This is all well and good but is not necessarily good for all woman. Some woman desire a more nurturing and family oriented status in society and don't necessarily require a career to feel as a success in life. Some women can do both career and secure family life but not necessarily in that order,maybe you can be one of these. Look for your priority first by analyzing yourself...are you more nurturing or more success conscious?

Answer 10

if you value measuring your life by the usual "should be" relationship at that age, then you may be out of luck. but you do still have a degree. use what you have, because moping over the fact that you haven't really done anything yet, doesn't change reality. you may never have a good realitionship or a great job, or perfect financing, but there's always possibilties. i say: just get on with your life, you made it this far, so keep going!