This happened two years ago: my boyfriend wanted to have anal sex, but I didn't. I said no several times and tried to escape from the bed, but he grabbed me and forced himself into me. I was bleeding afterward.
Is this rape, even though I let him into bed with me?
It's been two years and I noticed I have not been with other men ever since, I have become more timid and I tend to isolate my self. What type of help can I look for?
Thank you.
2006-12-09 04:01:05 · 21 answers · asked by Undiscolsed 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Certainly sounds to this old guy as if you were sexually violated and raped by your then boyfriend. If this is continuing to be bothersome to you then you could try and contact a sexual assault centre or women's resource centre for counseling help. They have trained professional counselors that will listen to your story without being judgmental or intimidating. Good luck to you in trying to put some closure on this terrible event and hopefully you can find the help needed to help you recover.
2006-12-09 04:08:24 · answer #1 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any sexual attacks that are not wanted is considered rape. If you said no, then he raped you. Go find a rape counselor, or a support group for rape survivors. There is no wonder you are now afraid of men. At the very least talk to someone you trust, a parent or a sibling preferably, or even a close friend. You really need some help talking through this if you would like to have a normal relationship in the future. When you do get into a relationship, make sure your partner knows what happened to you; that way he will know why you respond to things the way you do.
2006-12-09 12:35:51 · answer #2 · answered by Jinny E 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey for sure that is rape! Even though you let him in your bed no still means no. There is never a time that a girl doesn't have the right to say stop. Since you tried to get away he obviously knew you didn't want to so he should of stopped when he didn't he raped you. He did it to you he will probably do it to someone else. You need get some help from a professional and also report him to the police. There is a statute of limitations on rape so don't wait go to the police and tell them your story. God Bless You
2006-12-09 12:11:22 · answer #3 · answered by siera_summer75 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You poor thing. Yes it is rape. There are rape crisis hotlines in the phone book. You won't get better until you talk to someone. This is the first and hardest step for you. You could talk to a church member, family doctor, relative. Your power was taken away when he did that and you are afraid of being in that situation again. No one deserves to feel helpless like that. You should take self defense classes too. They usually have tapes on self defense at the library. Just remember that there are good guys out there. Good Luck
2006-12-09 13:46:18 · answer #4 · answered by Sunshine 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it was definitely a rape; you said NO and he forced you to do something you didn't want and you said clearly NO.
The most important is how can you prove it?
Are you still with this man? if the answer is yes, you will have difficulty proving he raped you.
But if you have broken the relationship because of his brutal behavior, and it seems that you have not been with other men since that case, then you can prove your case. In any case you need some help; first from a social worker expert in this matter, and then you should start condemning that man that raped you.
It won't be easy but you MUST START DEFEND YOURSELF.
2006-12-09 12:20:29 · answer #5 · answered by The Kabbalist man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry this happened to you. Yes it is rape!!! You should seek counseling to help you deal with this. It is considered rape if at any point you say "NO". It doesn't matter if you were running around the house naked or if you said yes first but then changed your mind. The point is that he penetrated after you said no. Please don't waste any more of your life because of what this jerk did. You can over come this. Good luck.
2006-12-09 16:36:36 · answer #6 · answered by mystic4624 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes!!! you told him NO, it doesnt matter if you were in bed already, he was forcing you to stay! otherwise im sure you would have got up and walked out if he wasnt holding you back....you should contact someone and tell them what has happened, even a close friend, or a parent....ANYONE....if you dont you will have this in the back of your mind all the time!! its sad, and it happens to many women so dont feel alone!!! Hope you feel better soon!!!!!!
2006-12-09 12:05:18 · answer #7 · answered by Ash 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you say no, and try to get away then yes it is rape.
I know, believe it or not my ex husband did the same to me and they got him for rape. But honey you need to find an abuse hotline. Find a counselor in your area. Find someone to talk to. Someone who will also advise you on anything else you should do. I know your pain, and i'll be thinking of you. Don't let it go, find an abuse counselor.
2006-12-09 12:15:37 · answer #8 · answered by ericpaulette2002 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES, If you told that A** HOLE NO. Then NO means NO. You can always talk to a counselor they sometimes can help. It may seem weird talking to a stranger at first but after a while it's really not that bad. Talking about it and getting it off of your chest is probably what you need. The best of luck to you!
2006-12-09 12:10:06 · answer #9 · answered by Hugs and Kisses 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously it is rape because you said no and he kept insisting to the point that he forced himself into you and ever since that day it's changed your whole life. It's effected you and your life with other people. He didn't care about you except for his damn needs. I bet he doesn't even know what's this done to you!?
2006-12-09 12:13:59 · answer #10 · answered by LilSweety2791 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋