This is my middle grown child of 5 and oldest son. The one I have always felt the closest to as far as sharing,understanding,helping,closeness and etc. He is the one I refered to as my rock and his Dad and I felt good knowing we had him to call on in an emergency. I am 76, husband is 80 an we are still active. Son's wife got offended at me after son borrowed $85,000. to get himself out of debt. I said she didn't need a housekeeper, I never had one, and now we arn't welcome in her house and in defense of her he has drug up every slight she can think of to mention in an email to me in hopes that the relationship be mended. I no longer see this son in the same light, I have been a good Mother and I don't deserve to be put down. I have a good personality and meant no harm, only a way to save. This Son is the trustee of our Living Trust. We are changing that. It hurts to write this but we never know how life will turn out.
God Bless You All and Have a Wonderful Christmas & 2007
2006-12-09 04:00:28 · 4 answers · asked by Jill ❤'s U.S.A 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well, if they were $85,000 in debt, you were right, she don't need a housekeeper. She is trying to live beyond her means. You did nothing wrong. You spoke the truth, and we all know that the truth can hurt. She will get over it. But on the other hand, you may want to follow through with opting another child to handle your affairs. In my opinion, if you do not, it seems that your daughter in law might have too much input on your matters that your "rock" might side with. There are 8 of us kids, and my mom is 75, and she just changed her "trustee' to another sibling. And we all agreed this would be best. My opinion only.
2006-12-09 07:45:36 · answer #1 · answered by tootsie38 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's bringing up old sore points in an effort to prove that you are in the wrong, rather than him. By so doing, then YOU will apologize rather than him, He gets an apology rather than having to give one himself; also he and his wife will get to feel superior to you. Possibly, they also hope that by making you feel guilty, you will forgive the $85K loan.
BTW-- I'm not sure what the $85K loan has to do with your DIL wanting a housekeeper. But I can tell you that criticizing a DIL is a very good way to alienate a son who loves his wife. Lesson learned on that one.
2006-12-09 04:14:01 · answer #2 · answered by Karen L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep your spirit and head up, your daughter in law needs to show you more respect...they should be grateful to have you and your husband ''why?'' cause you's allowed them to be debt free, supportive etc...and saying they don't need a housekeeper is so right, ecspcailly when they have to borrow money from you.
I won't go on about it, except to say...enjoy Christmans and have a awesome New Year
2006-12-09 04:36:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well maybe he's seen things as a child that he has never resovled. sometimes family's have secrets that are to be kept between family members and never to be mentioned,out of sight out of mind. he may know of things you may have said in the past,things done,the way you feel about a particular race of people,your drinking habits,the way you raised your family,your imperfections..who knows..but if you are critical of your son and his new family,you trigger effects like this. remember your not the only woman in your sons life now and you cant run his household like yours..you need to respect him, his wife and their family in order to get respect back...for some this is a tough pill to swallow...need a glass of water with that pill?
2006-12-09 04:18:19 · answer #4 · answered by dave v 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋