My daugther is locked up because she took her fathrs car for a joy ride. But my daughter is Bipolar and come home days at a time . Doesn't drink her meds and drinks liquor, gets high, has sex with boys and is very verbally violent.
Did I do the right thing by locking her up?
So depressed and feeling hopeless . My soul is crushed.
2006-12-09 04:00:20 · 27 answers · asked by blueknitter4u 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes - you saved her and she will hate you for awhile. Hopefully she is young enough to be forced into a state mental health hospital. If not then tough love and deny her all access to family (gain friend/family support) and block her. Be BRAVE - use the situation to stop the revolving door syndrome that bi-polars create. No support, money, etc unless she goes with a program. Remember it is her uncolntolled bi-polar talking and not her - your rational sane daughter is the one staying on meds and continuing therapy. Get tough - fight! Be confident and steadfast. Suck in those emotions. You can do it!!! Reading some of the others - forget 'soft' treatment centers and the like - go state, they won't waste anyones time - they know what they are doing and it is true reality of the down side of not managing your disorder. Putting her in jail was perfect for transitioning into a locked state facility. Do it. It works - takes time - makes her work to get out and the time required in treatment depends on HER>not Mama getting her out. It is not about you, or blame - it is all about getting her to get herself back on track. Lock down forces her to do that.
2006-12-09 04:23:18 · answer #1 · answered by Quest 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This a very razor thin double-edged sword. You may have done the right thing by locking her up, but the legal system is not the place for your daughter to get "straightened out".
I definitely think she needs a wake-up call, especially if she is out drinking and driving. But, she is also a teenager, right? You didn't specify. This is the rebellious stage in her life. I'm not condoning it, I'm just stating facts. Think about when you were a teen. Did you like everything your parents were telling you? Didn't you want to rebel at least a little?
She has a different circumstance, in that she has been diagnosed with a disorder. Not a disease. The more you press your daughter to conform, the more she will resist, and continue her current course of actions.
My only advice is to get her into drug and alcohol treatment as well as counseling. She may be confused about her life, as we all were then, and she may not feel comfortable talking to you or your spouse about it. Get her in a situation where the other person she talks with won't judge her and can give clear unbiased opinions.
Good luck and God Bless.
2006-12-09 04:16:13 · answer #2 · answered by bux_martinfan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, I'm so sorry.
First of all: you did the right thing. Really.
Your daughter has to hit bottom at some point in order for her to know she needs help-- and this may help her get there.
Also, it doesn't sound like you had any choice. She's a danger to herself... and to the community.
Going forward, therapy sounds crucial. If she's on meds, then she has a psychiatrist. Perhaps you could consult with the doctor to see what your next actions should be.
It's a heartbreak. But, it's also a beginning. What you were doing in the past certainly didn't work. From this point on, both of you can go in a better direction.
Also, for you: might help to go to an Al-Anon meeting.
Stay strong.
God bless.
2006-12-09 04:09:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to keep this in mind, and that simply is you did what you had to do. You are protecting her as well as the public. If she drinks and drives would could never forgive yourself if she gets into an accident and God forbid kill someone. I would assume she is under some Dr. care. Try to contact that Dr and let him know what she is doing. You say she is locked up, does that mean jail or prison? Either way hopefully she is getting some help in the institutions
2006-12-09 04:20:01 · answer #4 · answered by majean52 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you done good Mom.She knows she needs her meds , and hopefully you have her in some kind of counsling or support group when she gets out.There are a ton of people in this country who are Bipolar who function fine with medication, so that is no excuse for her behavior. Maybe a stay in the joint will wake her up some, good luck..
2006-12-09 04:10:03 · answer #5 · answered by BAARAAACK 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes! You most definitely did the right thing. This kind of behavior does not change by just grounding her or something. Let her see if jail time will change her while she is young, so she can get past this phase of her life. It is better now than to wait til she is an adult and has a more difficult time getting past it.
2006-12-09 05:05:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A mental desease is as real as a physical desease. Would you lock up your child if she could not feed herself or walk or suffer extreme handicaps?If you feel you have done all, and I mean all you could possibly do, then yes ,you did the right thing! By the way, how old is she??
2006-12-09 04:54:54 · answer #7 · answered by dominicaquilino 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You absolutely did the right thing. She not only going to be staying out of trouble while she is in Jail, but hopefully she will be learning her lesson. I think you would rather know that she is safe even though she is miserable, rather than going out everynight, and not knowing is she is ever going to come home.
2006-12-09 04:09:06 · answer #8 · answered by Icantthinkofanythingclever 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are a good Mom. You simply did what had to be done. You need to look into some type birth control for her, or she will end up bringing a baby into this mess....the LAST thing she, or you, needs right now. Good Luck Mom......you did great!!
2006-12-09 05:15:12 · answer #9 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u did the right thing and hopefully in years to come she will thank you for it. don't feel hopeless at least she is alive and well and u have done the best u could. u should feel proud at being so strong and caring enough to act many parents don't
2006-12-09 04:11:39 · answer #10 · answered by tjjkara 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋