me and the ex are getting back 2gether after being 3wks apart but we are "TAKING IT SLOW" WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

Question

ok me n my girl have been 2gether 4yrs after last mounth she broke it off. Then two wks later she wants back in. I open my heart n go back to were we left off. Then after coming back from a friends house she left me agian. Now after 2wks apart she calls n ask me for help, to keep her company. I go n we meet up we still are hanging out like a couple n i know she still cares for me. I play alittle hard2 get n she is in2 it. As am about to leave she is talking n i suddenly kiss her n tell her will she date me n this time lets take it slow, She agreed. And after making out some more i ask how are we going 2 work this out she said "no talks about anything long term, but sex is ok " so i see gets on her bus and i tell her i love her she says the same thing, she calls me later that night to see what i am up2 n when we get off niether of us say "i love u" . Is this the first steps to taking it slow? how do i do this? I still love her. She told me we should not tell any1 for at least a wk?HELP

Answer 1

How do YOU spell dysfunctional? Get out of this relationship as fast as you can. I'd have a vapor trail behind me as I'm leaving! This has disaster written all over it! Actually that's all the info you need.

Answer 2

It sounds like your ex wants to have her cake, and eat it too. You can't go back after 4 yrs together, and start anew. Keep your distance - not just to play hard to get, but BE hard to get. If she really loves you, she'll make up her mind quick. She's bouncing back and forth, at the expense of your feelings. We all need to feel secure, and her actions prevent this. Don't you want to be with someone that wants the world to know you're together? Why the secrecy?

Answer 3

She still loves you, love does not go away. It last forever. You two should come up with a plan like to work on to make your relationship stronger, or else it will probably go back to another break up later on, cause nothing has changed, also i would recomend buying her some flowers to let her know that you still love her.

Also pray about it.

Answer 4

Maybe she was interested in someone else and broke things off with you so she can be with that person. When that person told her they wasn't interested in her that's when she called you over to keep her company. Taking it slow is that she not sure if she wants to be committed to you and just taking you because you was already there. Good Luck

Answer 5

This sounds like she isnt ready to get back into a very emotional relationship, because she fears she is going to get hurt again. I would just talk to her about how you feel and that you like her more than just to have sex with and you really do love her

Answer 6

i can tell that ur not in any control or postion to do a thing in this relationship... go slow... dont say i love u on the phone for at least maby a month or until she does it. 1st week take her to movies. 2nd week take to movies and if u wanna tempt dinner. 3rd week dinner then moove w/ her if u love her get a chick flick LOL. 4 th week ur back to normal.

Answer 7

apparently she doesnt know wut she wants or she is just waiting for someone better to come. But what u need to find out is what YOU want. Because if she wants something totally different then it will cause one of u a lot of pain. But hey when u are in love you dont think straight and you beleive everything they say. But remember that u need to find out wut you want and then talk to her about it. Taking it slow may be different for her than to you. She said no long term relationship, but do u want that? But maybe she doesnt know wut she wants and maybe she does want a ltr. She'll probabably break it off again and then shell come back when she is lonely.

Answer 8

Sounds like she's cheating. I think you need to move on. If she distancing herself. She doesn't want a relationship at all or she just doesn't want it to be with you. Sounds like all she wants is a friend with benefits. She wants you to be there like a friend and not get to attached but at the same time she has some one to sleep with.

Answer 9

ok
u know i think there might be something but are u sure u love her?think again .someone that asks u only for sex and nothing else ,is it called really love?but if u think there is a chance that she loves u give her a chance beacuse i think u really like her or maybe love her ...good luck

Answer 10

Your efforts require more activity in areas unrelated to you.

By this I mean, you both do well need to create personal projects separately (maybe together) and to engage in self- and consciousness-building objectives and areas of interest that stretch you beyond the life with which you have grown familiar. You both have developed a precision, which is to say, a repeating pattern -- good for developing a pharmaceutical formula but not necessarily apt for deriving a fine relationship with a living being.

Now, the passive way of dealing (which is the most common and not quite the optimal way of proceeding) with this is simply continue to do what you continue to do, and at some one point one or both of you will reach a threshold after which the precison demonstrates within you that such a pattern or quality in the relationship is no longer tenable. For such is not an engaging or active way of growth.

Another way that is popular of course is to see a counselor who you two trust and can agree would be most beneficial to you. Problems here is that that counselor would be better to know the both of you well, or if they do not then would be better to be able to practically assist you as would a military drill instructor stays close to a new and developing recruit.

Now, what the two of you have -- being in love -- is good; however, this intensity and quality will not sustain, for this is not the natural progression of life, is just not the way reality is, for reality wants us to move on to becoming even greater vessels of love.

Human beings are far too evolved a set of beings, and simply cannot sustain such limiting a focus on love except through higher levels of love, beyond that of the mere physical or emotional component alone.

This is true in any relationship because an individual is constantly growing and expanding. During one's, say, ascension and movement through life, one does inevitably want to pursue personal projects and interests any way that facilitates self-fulfillment. Frankly, only the animals as a steady-state nature have that capacity of providing unconditional love. This is why children and animals grow so attached and dedicated to one another. Both have these needs and both can give equally.

Therefore, go out and find projects that consist of giving to others, for giving 'is' sustainable, see?; giving summons that property in us to avail us to receive as well. See? It is simple natural law, call it physics or whatever name that you wish to ascribe to it. But such must be that which is active and focuses you in those areas that you truly "love" doing. During this process, you will find that much baggage and this pattern you have of 'looping' will begin to dissipate, and out of this you will enjoy a much broader sense and perception and feeling of life itself, and will come to see that there exists a common thread that underpins human nature itself. For no one relationship is so unique that it supersedes natural and divine law...

One will find that those who do varied giving projects such as assisting in charity organizations or volunteering or simply helping others in need will provide something considerably magical and transforming -- to transform is to experience a process, which proceeds in very tangible ways, and which in this case, which is giving, imports a beneficial hard-wiring into your consciousnesses, both of you... This simply a metaphor to convey to you that the Inner has what can be called an engram.
For ease of understanding this better, simply consider that the word 'program' and 'engram' somewhat connote the same feeling and result or actions or indications.

What you two have been doing is hard-wiring an unbalanced programming, is all, a sort of engram. And how not, why wouldn't this be so -- for such is so common among the collective consciousness of societies, no matter where they are on the globe. Today, individuals no longer can enjoy the integral learnings that indigenous or native life styles once afforded others; that is, through oral traditions and so on. Things were once connected to nature and art -- no longer !

The principles that you will glean from doing giving projects or volunteerships may be applied with great facility to not only your relationship with each other but those engagements with life as well that entail much greater responsibilites or more important, import enlightenment. You see?

Observe here that I intentionally did not engage in the twists and turns of relationships themselves. You can get this sort of talk and exchange from others for a rupee a dozen. What you want to do is to do the different -- if you want to climb, do the difficult or at least the different, the new, the unfamiliar and maybe not so comfortable, see?

Try to stem away from too much talk and indulgence with others. Yes, do discuss with others who you trust who are themselves in or have been in like relationships, for this does help tremendously; but it also can easily chance indulgence or as said above, may well cause this thing 'looping', in which an engram is established and little can you do once this occurs to remove it except really facing the fixations that nestled within the engram, and which characteristic is not unlike being aboard a merry-go-round. And this does indeed become an engram, which can spin off with still other causations or what some might call "karma." These things take on life of their own and such is out of the realm of the pyschologists.

So go now and do something brave, bold, and enterprising; go and do the differences! -- till such time as you have built within yourselves an innate balance of all the, say, inner bodies such that an alignment ensues and holds you in a greater measure of stability.

Finally I will add here -- develop a greater architecture of your voice and speech and thought. Contemplate and reflect, is all. Train your mind to think in terms of clarity; let your words and writings reflect this, which these in turn will truly reform your quality of thoughts again and thereby your experiences...and your relationship...or relationships...

I will leave off here for now.