Where is the best place to hide a dead body?

Question

Don't say the woods. That would be the first place the police will look

Answer 1

In the grave of someone already dead.
Ironically, who would be looking for a dead body there?

Answer 2

A woman here in Washington State, USA, killed her mother and put her in a fifty-five gallon drum, the metal barrel kind, not the noise making one, although come to think of it, the metal does make more noise. But I digress, the woman put the body in the container, sealed it with that handy little metal strip and took it to place in a storage unit. For those who aren't familiar with the storage units, they are a bunch of small to large rooms where people put things that they have and want to keep, but have no room for. There is a charge for the monthly rental of these spaces and that is how this woman was caught; she neglected to pay the storage fees after keeping that barrel containing her mother there for a number of years, (I believe it was ten or twelve, but cannot remember due to this happening in the nineties). When a person fails to pay for a certain length of time, the owners of the storage facility go in to see if they can auction off the contents. The discovery was made, the police called, the woman traced down to her new home in another town and was found guilty.

So if you ever hide a body in such a manner, remember to keep up the payments on the storage unit! (I'm sure hoping you're just asking this to put in an English comp story or some such thing and haven't honestly done someone in!)

I put my last body, in a fictional story, in his car in one of the large irrigation canals, (fouteen feet deep, twenty five feet wide and currents faster than a river in flood), that we have around here. The body before that I put in a deep hole, at night, placed just in the middle of the tides, low and high, the hole being dug during the daylight hours since no one ever notices how elaborate, or large, a sand castle moat is. Never did get all the sand out of my shoes! (In the story, kiddies, in the story.)

Answer 3

Get a big vat of acid. Dissolve body. Now you have to figure out what to do with all that acid. Since It's not the fun kind, you can't sell it.

I don't know if there will be bones left over. If there are, grind them up into a fine powder and scatter them like ashes in the sea or something.

EDIT: Here's a better one. Much more detailed.

Disclaimer: this file is purely hypothetical and has been written for informational purposes ONLY. The author takes no responsibility for the actions of readers of this textfile. If you ever discover a body you should immediately report it to the police.

OK, so you have a body for whatever reason and you want to get rid of it, with no chance that it can be identified or traced back to you. Here are 16 steps that should ensure that this happens. Be aware that transporting a body is VERY OBVIOUS and should be done with discretion; this file discuses how to dispose of the body, not on how to do it without being seen, so be aware that you MUST be subtle or you will be seen and caught - dragging a body through the streets is kinda obvious so please, for you own sakes, be cautious and use you discretion.


Wear gloves + hat + disposable clothing
Get the body to a safe location
Burn the body
Cut off: hands + feet + head
Cut off: Legs + Arms
File off: pads of fingers
Knock in: teeth
Leave all parts in an acid bath
Burn parts again
Put each part in a separate bag: hands (separately); feet (separately); legs (separately); arms (separately); head; torso.
Put acid and bleach into each bag
Put 5 bricks into each bag
Seal the bags
Bury hands + feet + head at least 6 feet under the earth in an unpopulated area off + away from all paths at least 5 miles apart.
Sink torso + arms + legs into lakes in an unpopulated area off + away from all paths at least 5 miles apart.
Burn gloves + clothes + hat + dispose of the ashes (bury them or throw them into a lake ? away from the body parts)

Note that these steps are for ideal situations: they take time and can be shortened if time is a problem: burning the body once is probably enough and the acid bath is not truly necessary. However, if you do want to do a thorough job, I'd recommend that you do them all - just to be sure.

Hopefully this will be helpful in your attempts to dispose of any hypothetical bodies in the future :) Have fun and don't get caught.

Answer 4

Definately feed it to the pigs (remove teeth first and grind them up, they wont digest and can be found). Or in the sea somewhere, with a weight (bodies float, even after sinking), but please check the areas used for fishing, I have heard of many a body being found by fisherman (i'm a sailor). If you can get to anywhere that is known to be shark infested that is best, but let a little blood into the water first to attract them.

Answer 5

I hope I'm not going to regret answering this!! LOL I hope I don't see on the news that some serial killer confessed and said that people on the internet had told him where to stash the bodies!

But the easiest place, would be the swamp. The gators would smell the body and eat it, and what they didn't eat, the rest of thie wildlife would. So you're taking care of you local wildlife, and ridding a body. Talk about KILLING 2 birds with one stone! (pun intended!) LMAO

Answer 6

Under the wood floor boards in a house.
...Edgar Allen Poe "The tell-tell heart"

Answer 7

not in the woods in Ipswich or under Fred west`s patio on the morres try a vat of acid

Answer 8

in a cemetary. it would in basic terms combination in with the others. Or in a barrell marked risky waste. Whose gonna look in it? Or on the backside of a nicely. Or in a hollow with a pair of gallons of muratic acid.

Answer 9

try embalming it then sit it up at the table and say its your cousin Yrenka from Kygistan who cannot speak any english. If its the police from the bill who come to your door they will never spot it

Answer 10

I hope you haven't got a corpse rotting there while you ask this question - ooh, I think I can smell the stale flesh.