i am a 24y guy and i really love my beloved so much, one day when we were talking abt our future life, i just said that WE WILL NOT HAVE A BABY, beacause i dont want to divide ur attention and your love at any cost nor i want mine to be shared. I only and only want you and nothing else. After hearing all this at first she was so much annoyed and furstrated but afterwards she was agreed with me and said that she understands my feelings and that she now thinks in the same way. But i still remain up set as i often think Am i thinking abnormally?...is that abnormal behaviour?
2006-12-09 03:04:18 · 9 answers · asked by eagle eyes 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I don't think it's abnormal at all. Some people just don't want kids, and relationships are made up of nothing if they are not made up of honesty. I think it's great that you stepped out there and said something while the relationship was young, and did not wait until the relationship had become a long term committed one before saying oh by the way I don't want kids. I think you said it a little harshly however "we will not" as though you command her. You may not want kids, and may say something like "I don't want children" or "I don't want a baby" but you had no right to make it a "we". If she wants kids, she may go elsewhere, no matter how into the relationship both of you are, because it will be a part of her that is always unfulfilled.
2006-12-09 03:24:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's abnormal, I've heard guys say this before, and it may not always be that way. She has needs or wants to, so listen to what she wants, she many not want a baby now, but she may later. A child together it supposed to mean something better something closer, as long as both have agreed on all of the parenting issues that may come up. You are right in some ways. Some people become so engrossed in their children they forget they have a partner. So romance and time alone go out the door. As long as there is time made for the couple alone it's ok.
2006-12-09 03:10:36 · answer #2 · answered by Brandnewshoes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone should live the life in the way you feel best. Generally speaking after a while when dating someone you want to commit, to marry and after that to have kids. My opinion for this is that god put this things in this way...for not getting bored...with the same situations all the time....for example you finished the school...and what would you do if you haven't a girlfriend....I guess bored....so god puts this thing to have something to be occupied with...to have obligations, to fight about something....
Now if you feel that always is enough you love for your girlfriend it is alright....you are feeling this way...it is OK...and you are lucky that your girlfriend understands you....but imagine, just imagine what a child would born from this mutual and great love...I suppose a miracle child and you will watch every day growing that tiny creature that came from you both...and you will see the difference then, cuz that is a fruit of mutual love.
Still this is only my opinion...whatever makes you feel better act in that way. By pushing things you wont achieve nothing.
Good luck my Yahoo Friend in finding your happines. Whatever makes you feel good.
2006-12-09 03:44:32 · answer #3 · answered by invisible1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although i understand where you are coming from, it is not abnormal, but it does sound a little selfish. By sharing your love for that women it would show so much more how much you really love that women. A child is not something you really are supposed to plan, children are more products of your love so i think you should just maybe think about the whole situation again with more of an open mind.
2006-12-09 03:17:06 · answer #4 · answered by Quanice S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is somewhat. most everyone wants their legacy to live on in one form or another. nobody likes the thought of your family history dieing with one's self.
upon reading why you didnt want to have a child, i was almost angered, at how selfish you must be, in a good healthy relationship, there should be enough love to go around, and a child is a wonderful blessing to share.
thinking about why you said what you said, i imagine you must be starved for attention, and might not get enough of it as it is. if i were your significant other, i dont know that i could put it past me that you feel at least somewhat ignored, enough so that you feel as though you arent getting enough attention.
i'm a 25 year old girl, married to a man my age, (since 2002) and also do not want a child, and while it is not because i do not feel loved enough with the current way things are in our relationship with my husband, i do feel as though the both of us (my husband and i) would not be good parents. my husband came from an abusive household, and my parents raised me in an akward manner, i feel as though growing up under less than satisfactory parenting would trigger us to do about the same when it came to having a child of our own. while my mother begs me to make her a grandmother, i simply do not want to mess a child up the way i have been messed up, and my husband has been messed up.
while its not abnormal behavior just not to want to have a child, whether it be for financial reasons, (not having enough money for diapers and baby food is a good reason not to have a child) or you're afraid you're parenting skills are not up to par, there are a million good reasons why one particular person would be better off not having a child, having to share the love and attention between you and you're spouse/lover/betrothed/girlfriend is simply not a very nice reason. i would find it at least somewhat insulting for you to say "you wouldent love me enough if you had a kid, i would be loved less, and i'm greedy." thats just wrong. it just is.
2006-12-09 03:32:20 · answer #5 · answered by ASLotaku 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've heard of people not wanting to have a baby because, perhaps they have a genetic history of some disease, but I have to say, not wanting to give the person you love something they really might want b/c you don't want to share their attention is a little silly. I think you need to ask yourself if you love her enough to share her with the rest of the world. I agree with the user who said your explanation sounds a little selfish. On the other hand, being 24, you're still young. You might change your mind, or she might change it for you.
2006-12-09 03:59:27 · answer #6 · answered by Jennifer B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no idea what you are talking about here, not very clear, but I do know telling a woman she is never having a kid with you will lead to two things..her finding a man who does or her making sure that you have one with her...so you might want to get the snip job now ifyou are serious about never having kids, cos women like to trap guys with them, and dont give me any **** for saying that cos you know it happens...
2006-12-09 03:11:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't understand why your upset....
2006-12-09 03:29:03 · answer #8 · answered by common sense 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm i don't know sorry
2006-12-09 03:30:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋