she flirted with him for 3 months & I came to know about it. I contacted her husband with all the proof so he can believe me. Her husband talked to both of them face to face and both of them said it was just the platoonic relationship and nothing serious. She has moved on with her life as she loves her husband very much and doesnot want to distroy her marriage. They have 2 teenagers. My husband cannot forget her and he misses her very much. He cries, he looks at her pictures. He keeps her remembrence alive keeping her name as all his passwords. I have confronted him many times, and he says he is not in contact with her. He also agrees that he will never forget her. I have two teenage sons and I cannot see him depressed. It is'nt fare to me. I love him but at the same time I cannot see him love someone else. He does realize that he will not get her but he is ready to sepnd rest of his life thinking about her. I want to move on with my life. I don't derserve this. But don't know way out!
2006-12-09 02:59:35 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have given him two years to froget her but he confesses that he cannot. He tells me to take divorce once kids are in college which is another 4 years, how can I live those 4years?
2006-12-09 03:28:26 · update #1
Do what it takes to move on! Reach down in your inner strengths, and muster up the courage to do what is necessary to get out of this situation. You are right! You DO deserve better than this, and the ONLY person that can do something about it is YOU! I am sorry you're hurting so bad, but trust me, from one that has been there and done that, there is life afterwards! Good Luck!!
2006-12-09 03:09:39 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Approach him in a very understanding manner.Yes you're his wife,But in your case,you have to be understanding towards his feeling to win him back.Tell him that you've forgiven him,but he have to move on and be the husband he used to be.There is no point thinking about someone wife.Give him some time before talking to him.Let him know that time will heal him,and that you will love him more than ever.Your problem is,you both have been far apart and not being together as often as before.Therefore,both of you are not as close as you use to be.Show him some love and care more often.You can win him back only if you understand him.
2006-12-09 03:18:23 · answer #2 · answered by ike mie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give him the infamous either get over it or im moving on speech. You are right when you say it isnt fair to you because it isnt. He really sounds like he has some issues. Talk to someone about this and if that helps than great. I know you love him but sometimes emotional cheating is worse than physical cheating. The only other thing is get a divorce. Good luck
2006-12-09 03:03:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only you can decide what you want, but be honest and true and don't be deceiptful to whomever you choose as you will not only ruin respect from them, but for yourself. You say you are "happily married" but if that were true, you would not be "desiring" another women, would you? What about the new woman attracts you? Could your/did your wife provide that to you in the past? Could you talk to your wife so she fulfils your needs so you won't look eslewhere? Only you can answer that, but first, you must talk, really TALK, to you wife. Along the way she may have been so overwhelmed with the kids and need YOUR help that she forgot that you have needs too. As you are lusting after another woman, you have nothing to lose by trying to make it worth with you wife first...you might be very pleasantly surprized if you try to make her feel as special as you would the woman you are lusting after!
2016-03-13 05:07:00 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give him a designated amount of time, then if he isn't over her by then, then you need to move on. He was very much in love with her it sounds like. It seems like the other woman didn't have the same feelings for him. You need to move on. You don't need this. He will mourn her till the day he dies.
2006-12-09 03:18:33 · answer #5 · answered by winona e 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you allow yourself to be treated this way? You have to come to a point where you realize for yourself that you are worth more and deserve better. I suggest that you take some classes in something you enjoy and/or do things you know you are good at. I think it would help boost your self esteem. Perhaps get a job doing something you love... take steps to get to know yourself again and stop putting all your energy into fixing his problems...which he created.
2006-12-09 03:33:06 · answer #6 · answered by spottedpeep 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though he is not keeping contact w/her or having a relationship, he is putting her above his marriage with you. And that is not fair to you.
I can understand that you love him, but you cannot stand by and watch him be like this. Even though it is a difficult thing to do, you would be best walking away from this marriage.
I wish you the best of luck.
2006-12-09 03:07:42 · answer #7 · answered by Sunny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you don't deserve it. But you also don't need to spend the rest of your life dealing with it. I'd say you have no choice but to divorce him and move on. Get yourself a good lawyer.
2006-12-09 09:04:36 · answer #8 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what he is doing is mental cruelty to you. he has already committed adultry in his heart with the other woman.he stepped over the line and now he is making you pay because of it. you know where his heart is and you dont deserve to be hurt anymore. get legal separation from him and make him move out of the house. get a lawyer and show proof of the unfaithfulness and let the lawyer take care of this for you. he needs to get out of your life and you need a new start from him. you are miserable with him and you might as well be single and sad for awhile and then heal up .you can start over with someone who cares for real.
2006-12-09 03:24:39 · answer #9 · answered by jbearbooboo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think I could stay married to a man who was in love with another woman.....that's just me though.
2006-12-09 03:04:56 · answer #10 · answered by Ziara 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋