18 and prgnant?

Question

i was 18 2 weeks ago and have just found out im pregnant. i have been with my boyfriend for 4 1/2 years. i am scared of telling him. how would it be best to break the news?

we do really love each other, but we are both living with our parents and we it is very unlikely for us to be able to provide the child with all necessary things. i know our parents would kick us out of the house due to religious purposes. how can i make our sitatuation harder, should i have an abortion without letting him know? i dont want us to be homless with no money and a child, this is not the start to a life i would want for any child

Answer 1

You need to tell him now...then you tell your parents..but the answer that really matters is your.. good luck

Answer 2

Is there any reason why you should be scared of telling your bf of your condition? In those 4 1/2 years you've been together, have you guys never talked about the future? Don't you know him yet?
Although 18yrs is quite a young age to be conceiving and having a baby, you would not be the first.
There are always ways to solve a problem. The first step would be talking with someone, if you're afraid to ask those around you, try your nearest parenthood centre and ask for advce. Raising a baby is hard work, so adoption would be a choice. But if you have support from your loved ones, then there's nothing wrong with raising your own baby...
good luck

Answer 3

I think it's his right to know, whether he agrees with you or not, he participated in this as much as you did. I like the your way if thinking of the future. Abortion is never an easy decision, but at least you've considered your options. i've known people who have made it work together, as a young couple. I myself had my son at 18 and I was alone, and it was much harder. So you have to talk to him, and then it should be easier to make your choices. If you parents are would leave you when you need them the most, and call themselves religious people (you didn't specify a religion) I know it would hurt, so you should be prepared for it. First talk to your BF, and consider your options, then make a choice. Consider your relationship, you've been together a long time, and as long as you both feel commited enough to the relationship and feel like it's for the long run, and decide to have the child it may all work out. It may be much harder, trust me I know. I've been working full time, and going to school PT for the last 6 years, it's not easy. But if u decide to have the child one of you can work the other goes to college FT, and then you switch, one works and the other goes to college. IT's all an uphill battle until you settle down, it can take years before this happens. If you decide to have an abortion you can do so without telling your parents, as long as your BF knows.

Answer 4

Just tell him, I'm sure ya'll wish you could have waited, but it happens because of decisions we choose to make. Also, you state you parents religious beliefs, but not yours, because most religions I know do not believe in abortion. The decision is up to you and your boyfriend talk with him and see what he thinks. The way I see it is that this child was created in love, and shall be raised with love. Also you really do not know how your family may react, they might suprise you. If they do kick ya'll out at least you two can stick together and will have one anothers support. If your family is that religious they should know not to pass judgement it is not there place whether they agree or disagree with the situation. It will not be easy, but it will be alot easier if you tell them all sooner then when your say 7 months along. Take a deep breath and go talk to your boyfriend.

Answer 5

Being a young mom can be scary, but children are blessings. I got pregnant with my first at 17 so I know what you are going through. Just tell your boyfriend...yall have been together for a long time and if he truly loves you then yall will make it thru this together and you never know he may be thrilled to hear the news. Even if he doesnt seem thrilled at first and will probably come around. Just sit down and tell him and then both of you talk about how you truly feel about the situation. Communication is the key.

Answer 6

Don't look at it as breaking news. Its an event in your life and you two need to come together and decide how and what steps you need to take. I say take him to a closed place like a park or a place other than his or your house. Because he may want to jump for joy or let out a scream. Just tell him in a very Private place so you two can feel each others energy with no outside distractions.
Congratulations! On your blessing.

Answer 7

Just tell him. Obviously, since you were having sex with the guy, it means that pregnancy could occur. I went through the same thing with my fiance, but we weren't together nearly as long (and still not as long as 4 1/2 years). I told him I was pregnant and that I was having an abortion just like I said I would if it ever happened. I had an abortion and we moved on with our lives.

You have three choices keeping the baby, adoption and abortion. YOU have to make the choice. Hopefully, if you were responsible, you've already talked with your boyfriend about what would happen if you got pregnant. Go back on that conversation. If you decide that you are going to have a baby, then you need to talk to your boyfriend about who will raise that baby and how. Good luck!

Planned Parenthood has some excellent resources on pregnancy and unexpected pregnancy including information on adoption, keeping it and abortion. Visit your local PP for counselling on what to do and how to tell people, if you need it. Their website can help too. http://www.plannedparenthood.com It's very reliable! Unlike a lot of other crappy websites dealing with unexpected pregnancy.


EDIT: I just read your edit. Having an abortion without letting him know will be hard. I think it would be best to tell him about your choice to have an abortion. This way you'll be dealing with it together and won't have any skeletons hiding in the closet. I'll be honest with you, while abortion isn't as scary as pro-lifers make it out to be, it's not as easy as they want to pretend too! The hormonal imbalance of pregnancy and ending pregnancy is pretty nasty! I was sort of angry with my lover after the abortion because he didn't have to go through the physical shite I did, but obviously that's not rational. Keep your head. Do tell him though. Don't let him change your mind whatever you decide, but if you value honesty and your relationship, you'll tell him.

Answer 8

I would make him a dinner with all baby things, like baby corn on the cob, little chicken wimgs things like that. I would talk to him about it once you finally do tell him, who knows he might be excitedthat your having his baby. He must love you , he's been with you for and a half years for a reason so I really think that things will turn out fine Good Luck

Answer 9

You were not scared when you guys slept together, so dont be afraid now. You guys have been together for a while so you should be comfortable in telling him this. If you cant face him then there is nothing wrong with telling him over the phone, this way you dont have to see his reaction.

Answer 10

would he be willing to get a job and take care of you and the baby? your parents are going to be grandparents and would they be willing to help you till you got on your feet?if you get an abortion will you be able to handle that for the rest of your life? some women handle it fine but some never get over it.what do you want? do want the baby? or would you consider adoption?if you want the baby then i would get alone with your boyfriend and tell him that he is going to be a father and that he needs to think of a plan to help you and the baby.

Answer 11

This should not be a time that you are afraid to speak to your boyfriend! This should be a happy time for both of you. If he loves you do not worry, he will support your emotionally and stand by your side. You need to be up front and honest. Good Luck