I have lived with a man for 11 years, the first year was good. The second and third not as good as the first. But the past 8 years this man has refused to have sexual relations with me to where we only have sex maybe once a year. What could the problem be? We have ended our relationship. When I moved on and he found out he called me all sorts of filthy names and said that I was dead to him. This man was my bestfriend for 11 years and now he acts like I am dirt. He is going around and putting me down to our friends and calling me a tramp, whore ect. I did not have sexual relations with anyone else until after our relationship ended. So why would someone act like this. It is obivious to me that he does not want me so why is he such a dirtball that he resents me moving on with my life with other people.
2006-12-09 02:12:41 · 8 answers · asked by barbara o 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Oh he is sick i think....
Maybe you know things bad about him so he is acting this way to start his defense if you would say any thing about him, then he would say look he says that bcz i said that...if you know what i mean....
forget about him ewwww i do not like him
2006-12-09 02:19:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's a great deal of pain to endure, and no good closure at the relationship's end. Sorry that happened to you.
The man is weak, and missed the boat when he didn't honor his opportunity to find happiness with you. He sounds like a real sore loser, not a mature man.
Withdrawing is one way people avoid confrontation. Confrontation is only one avenue of communication, very direct, wanting resolution soon. If he lost his attraction to you, or realized he never truly loved you in the first plact, that could be one reason to withdraw. He may have guilt over, gosh, any number of things, real, imagined, unimportant, etc. Guilt can make a person withdraw; also blaming others is a way to protect our feelings.
His behaviour since learning of your moving on reminds me of that of junior high and high school boys. The man couldn't/wouldn't take care of you (relationship-wise), but won't let you go with good graces. Selfish, immature, could use a good strong rap on the knuckles, if he's not dragging them on the ground when he walks.
I bet you know this, but a reminder may keep your spirits up:
those who know you (or think they do) will feel defensive of you when Mr. Badmouth speaks his slander. Your reputation will precede you, just pay attention to the healthy (honorable, wholesome) things you're doing for yourself, and let his lies fly. Folks, for the most part, will "consider the source" and dismiss him, only true gossip-mongers will be enticed to pay attention to his dribble.
2006-12-09 02:47:11 · answer #2 · answered by Zeera 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aqua is correct. HE'S the one with the problem, not you. Many emotionally unbalanced people blame their shortcomings on the nearest target--you--so that it appears the person they are around the most would likely be to blame: i.e. that you drove him to it, and so on. Too bad you wasted so much time on this nut case. Okay, you now have one of two options: either be miserable about it, wallow around in self-pity and BELIEVE some or all of his nasty things he is saying about you, WHICH IS WHAT HE WANTS, or pick yourself up, dust yourself off, along with some of his skin cells, and get rid of everything in the house that reminds you of him, ESPECIALLY PHOTOGRAPHS, do a good vacuuming and cleaning to get rid of most of his epithelials (thanks, CSI, for the terminology), and have an emotional cleansing from the guy. Getting rid of things that are a reminder and putting them to the curb will act as a catharsis as you know that the garbage truck will take that junk away forever and deposit it in the dump where it belongs. These feelings can be transferred into your feelings toward him: as that truck drives away, taking your bad memories with it, so goes your anger, and you can move on with life. This happened to me with a monster of a relative I disowned, and believe me, it works! And spite him by having a new partner and a better life and normalcy, for a change! Anger will crop up, but think about how fortunate you are to have that rubbish out of your life, and these pleasant thoughts will soon take over! Good luck, and Happy Holidays!
2006-12-09 02:40:30 · answer #3 · answered by steviewag 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man thats sad! Whats even worse it seems to be the trend for gay relationships, why they do it who knows. It seems that some men just get to comfortable in the relationship and eventually feel they dont have to try anymore,to keep it spicy and interactive, and some just enjoy the thrill of cheating and when you break up they blame everyone else except themselves for what they did wrong. It is just to bad you invested 11 years into him. I've been their too I was in one for 10 years and the last 3 he was cheating behind my back until I found out and I walked out of the relationship and never looked back. Good luck, and I know it is hard but you deserve better!
2006-12-09 02:27:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He didnt want a lover he wants a slave, your much better off away from him as he cant stand to be rejected even tho he did nothing to make the relationship work. Your a much more mature person that he is as sadly he cant seem to move on. Some people are like that but if they really are your friends then they will know what your really like and as he keeps putting you down he will lose them as friend and finish up with none, he's bitter and your better off away from him. You go on and liveYOUR life it's not his your living. goodluck
2006-12-09 02:25:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is pretending that the relationship did not get a long well because of you ,, so people do not suspect him,,, that's all.
I think he had some problem with him being a man...having sex once a year !!!! how many Viagra he take to do that ..!!
2006-12-09 02:43:11 · answer #6 · answered by herosam2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey
You should have left him high and dry a long time ago. Its hard to understand why we humans do some of the things we do. That's why I like my dog so very much.
You sound like a nice person. I'm sure you will get on with your life. The sooner the better. You have already spent much too much time on this guy.......
2006-12-09 02:26:40 · answer #7 · answered by Steven Keith 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nicely, probable he isn't any longer with out some type of launch, if in common words to relax sufficient to sleep at evening. even with the undeniable fact that it extremely is neither the following nor there. of route a guy can "stand it" for a 12 months or longer, if mandatory. yet why might want to it really is mandatory? i do not realize the question about gay. What, really, brought on your question? in case you imagine your husband is gay because he has been bored with intimacy with you in particularly a lot a 12 months, possibly that turn of thoughts is area of what has grew to grow to be him off. or possibly he has yet another woman. i imagine you want to communicate extremely with him about this, and be sure even if the marriage is nicely worth saving.
2016-11-25 00:50:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋