i had a fight with a friend a week ago and she decided that we couldn't be friends anymore. she said she needed her space and that i always pressure her to set up meet-ups for us and to be there when i call. i wasn't thinking straight then and i was only thinking of myself... so i emailed her straight after our fight saying sorry and asked if we could still be friends... i sent her 3 emails (omg, so stupid...) i think i pressured her and was on her face again. she sent an email back saying no we can't be friends... we haven't spoken since...
she's left for a vacation, and i can't speak to her until feb next year... can i still mend this broken friendship? if i can, how?
i'm in need of advice please... i don't want to lose her.
2006-12-09 00:39:27 · 9 answers · asked by helpinghands 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Back off dude. Give her the space she has asked for.
xxB
2006-12-09 00:43:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she just needs some space. Its probably good that you cant talk to her for a while. Give her some time to cool down. wait a little bit after you know she's returned. Email her one last time, but dont sound desperate, say You know you were wrong, you deeply apologize and wish you could take back what you've done but you cant, so all you can do is apologize. Tell her you respect her as a friend and never wanted to pressure her on anything, and that if you 2 ever do reconcile, you'll give her the space she needs, and when she feels you're coming on too strong, just say so. Say that you hope that in time she'll be able to forgive you, and you'll work on being a better friend, but if she decides not to, you'll respect her decision and move on.It sounds like you came off as a needy friend and she's apparently the type of person who cant deal with that. Say you realize thats how you came off, youre not always like that, and the next time you'll back off, and possibly go elsewhere instead of coming to her, if it bothers her. I hope this helps. Sometimes we cant undo the past. If she doesnt want to be your friend anymore, I know it'll hurt but you'll just have to move on, and learn from your mistakes.
2006-12-09 08:44:39 · answer #2 · answered by Dani 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your friend has a legitimate beef--that you do crowd her. If she's on vacation until February, fine. Wait a couple of weeks after she gets back, and then send her a letter--not a phone call--something you can think about and craft. Tell her that you realize that you were making unfair demands on her friendship and her time. Tell her that while you respect her wish to end your association, you appreciate her as a person and value her in your life, and could she find it in her heart to reconsider. Promise that you will stop crowding her--and mean it. End it by telling her that if she still feels she is unable to see you, you'd appreciate it if she could just email you to let you know that she did at least receive and read your letter.
As far as keeping your word to backoff of your friend, you need to examine why you crowd her in this manner. Perhaps this person is your only friend--you are lonely, and rely on this one person to be your whole social life--that naturally leads to crowding, and unfair pressure on your friend to be available when you need her. If this is the case, you need to find another outlet for your free time--a hobby or a sport or a place you can go alone--a favorite coffee shop where you can sit and read--something so that she is not your whole support system. You have to learn to be okay with being alone. Or maybe you're secretly in love with her, and keeping the secret is making you anxious to the point that you're trying to keep her so close she can't meet anyone else to fall in love with. If this is the case, DO NOT tell her about it until you've had at least several months back in her good graces to prove you can respect her boundaries.
Good luck. Let us know what happens.
2006-12-09 09:00:23 · answer #3 · answered by macbeth00798 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes, you got to do something really hard for the ones you love best, if she ask for her space, then she just want to have a little time for herself, but if she emailed you back and said you can't be friends then she has made up her mind. Don't pressure her anymore. Accept it.
(if you care aobut her).
2006-12-09 09:03:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go, write it off and forget it for now. Your suffocating her, why? just let it go.
Sometime down the line, say a month from now, send her a "hi" on the "e" than nothing more for awhile, wait then send another in another few weeks. If she doesn't answer forget her and find new friends, take the hint, she doesn't want anything to do with you anymore. You tried.
2006-12-09 08:45:40 · answer #5 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honor her request to leave her alone, for now. Time has away of making the little things go away, so give her time to get over it.
In Feb when you see her again, you'll have the perfect opportunity to *show* her how you feel about her. Until then, telling her over and over will keep fresh in her mind why she got mad, and will not give her time to get past it, so she can remember the things about you she really likes.
2006-12-09 08:45:07 · answer #6 · answered by Often self-amused 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing you can do is wait until she's ready to talk.stop pressuring her to do things that you want her to do.trust me she will come around.just let her have her space and for the time being occupy your time with something fun or a hobby that you like to do by yourself.just give it time and in no time you both will be back friends
2006-12-09 08:48:55 · answer #7 · answered by Trixy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey i can understand your feelings but if there is your mistake then go to her with white roses and a letter that can show how important she is for u
2006-12-09 08:43:38 · answer #8 · answered by candid 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think so. she needs some space and time.
2006-12-09 08:45:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋