i want to be a girl, but...?

Question

ok, intro first: i'm a early-30s male grad student.

i really really wish i were a girl. in particular, a cute 16-to-say-22yo girl.

does that make me transgendered? i don't think so... as the thought of being an -older- woman, say over 40, is entirely unappealing.

i realize i can't be what i wish i could be, so what do i do? i see only three possibilities, the first two which i've done:

(1) get in great shape, and date girls that i wish i could be, and try to sort of live vicariously by them... if i'm really close to a cute girl a lot of the time, at least i get to sense a small part of what it's like to actually be her.

(2) garden-variety crossdressing.

(3) try to make being an older woman appealing, and save up for SRS.

none of these completely fit the bill. any other ideas?

(i'll answer any questions quickly. bottom line: i really, really want to be a cute girl.)

Answer 1

Find a makeover salon and see what they can do for you. Most people are quite surprised.

Answer 2

First, and I really hate to break this to you, but you will never be a 16-22 yr old girl when you already are early 30. But you can be a cute early 30yr old woman.

Now, you should take the first steps towards that goal by trying crossdressing full time for several months. That includes make-up, wig, breast forms (unless you are developed), etc. Also act like a woman, that mean do everything the way a woman would.

Once you are comfortable with that, time to speak to a professional about transitioning and being a true TS. Of course you can stop short of having to undergo SRS.

But if you decide to go for SRS, then do it, by all means.

But to be a 16yr old again? I can say honestly, that will never happen.

Answer 3

i hope you realize that you may never be the girl you want to be
being transgender is not easy and you may never look the best
i would try to change things in your life
like the clothes you wear may be wearing girls / ladies underwear may help or become totally fem for a while
being beautiful is all a state of mine feel beautiful and you will be beautiful
look in side your self and answer your true feelings do you want /need to be female
or would acting and playing be more sorted to you
srs is not some thing to take lightly it is one of the hardest things a person can do to them self's but for those that need it it is th most rewarding
only you can make the choice on what you do but try x-dressing try doing it at home then go out during the night and during the day
be girl for a week or two and then make up your mind from that
any choose you make make it a good choice and well informed remember what ever you do it is for you and only you have the power to change that and only you can know how far you want to take it
here are some web sites that can help you be more informed of transgenders and what you may want read them and any more you can find as they are all good and some can help a lot more then you think


http://transsexual.org/
http://www.gendercentre.org.au/mtf_links.htm
http://www.tsroadmap.com/
http://www.tgfolk.net/sites/satsg/hrt.html
http://www.annelawrence.com/twr/
good luck with what ever you do

Answer 4

you need some counseling. You're a 30 something guy-- no matter what kind of SRS you have, you will never be a 20 year old girl.
You will never really understand what a 20 year old woman feels like, thinks like, or experiences.
If you are a candidate for SRS, you will be a woman in her late 30s, early 40s. You need to talk to a counselor who specializes in transgernder issues. Check out pflag.org and they will get you some contact info.

Answer 5

as a 47 year old pre op TS my self, i can speak to all 3 things you listed. #1 - so far so good as far as getting into shape for SRS is concerned. that is a prime requirement of the harry benjamin criteria for SRS. also you need to be living openly for at least a year in the gender of your choice, and be seen by at least 2 different therapist, one of whow must be a PHD. be on hormones under the doctors care (some surgeons require this, some dont. mine does. harry reed at srsmiami.com is one who does).
#2....contact a friend of mine at glamourboutique.com and she will help you with the basics of makeup, wardrobe, etc. for the beginning stages of crossdressing and your transition into womanhood.
#3 ......being that you are over 30, you might as well forget being a sweet 16ish little girl unless you want to dress that way.
#4 .....SRS is expensive. it will run you with all the doctor visits, etc and the surgery itself in the neighborhood of $100,000 by the time all is said and done and it is NOT covered by most insurance.
good luck

Answer 6

Heck of a line between fantasy and reality. You can try crossdressing, find a young girl and live vicarisly through her, or face the reality, that you have a fantasy that will not come true.

Answer 7

Transgender (IPA: [tʰɹænz'dʒɛndɚ], from trans (Latin) and gender (English) ) is an overarching term applied to a variety of individuals, behaviors, and groups involving tendencies that diverge from the normative gender role (woman or man) commonly, but not always, assigned at birth, as well as the role traditionally held by society.

Transgender is the state of one's "gender identity" (self-identification as male, female, both or neither) not matching one's "assigned gender" (identification by others as male or female based on physical/genetic sex). Transgender does not imply any specific form of sexual orientation (transgender people may be heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual or asexual.)

uhm, i think this is you.

Answer 8

In support of you: read some Jorgenson, Wilchins, etc. They are trans folk and particularly in the work of Wilchins' "Read My Lips: The End of Gender" you can experience what she went through feeling trapped in the wrong sex/gender, how she dealt with it, and how she feels now that she has trans. It's a great, easy read that you can zip through. It's support!

Answer 9

If you live in New York, wait long enough and you can declare your gender whichever you feel most "fits" you. (They are actually trying to pass that claptrap off into law!) Then all you have to do is have your birth certficate changed to fit your fantasy. Voila! You're a young girl,and an old pervert at the same time. Congratulations.

Answer 10

Get an MMO and roleplay if you have to do something. You'll have to face the reality that you'll never be a cute girl in real life. Get over it.