we're miles apart before their affair got started its five years now.theg girl doesnt know he's married.we are married for eight years and have one kid i dont want a broken family.what can i do to him without leaving.i dont have a job yet i just got here in the US.someone please help
2006-12-09 00:26:51 · 12 answers · asked by rcy123 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, if you don't want a broken family then what you do is nothing.
Aparently the man had a life before you got here. And he still brought you and your child home. Treat the man with common courtesy. Let him adjust to living together.
Do the things you are responsible for doing in a day, including a search at Your State Department of Labor and Your Local Newspaper for employment lisitings. Try to maintain your perspective. You want the marriage to work so do the things that attract a man. Panicking and berrating him are not on the list. Just be your own wonderful self and give him some time. It's been awhile since he's had the privilige of living with you. Let him enjoy being home with you and child.
Speak to him with Respect when you talk with him. Respond to what he says. Don't React, respond. Think of what you want to say, take a breath and say it calmly and respectfully. This teaches Respect. Also, ask him every day if there is anything you can do for him. This indicates that somewhere in your day you considered him. He will pick up the habit. It's nice.
Build the relationship you desire. Let the past be in the past. Consider that time apart in the past. Claim a new beginning. Find the inner stregnth, focus on your day, your child, your husband, yourself.......Aim for the end result.
2006-12-09 01:07:25 · answer #1 · answered by Puresnow 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let the homewrecker know that he is a husband and a father. Be a continual presence. Also, start saving money in a personal account that he can't get access to. I know you said you don't have a job but surely you have access to funds? Exposure is a strong tool. Don't cover up for him. If you can hang in the marriage for 2 more years then more than likely you will be entitled to 1/2 his pension as well as alimony and child support from him. I would definitely let that girl know by sending her a pic of you and the kid and even a copy of the marriage certificate. It doesn't mean she will stop seeing him but then again it just might be the trick. Good Luck!
2006-12-09 01:19:16 · answer #2 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what country your from but in the USA that's called adultry and to get caught is just as bad as having the affair in the first place. Courts here frown on that kind of behavior.
I understand you don't want a broken family but if you don't do anything now...it will show him he can get away with it.
There are many men that are faithful to their wives...I'm one of them. Been married 17 years. Sure, the chances have been there but sleeping with another woman is like slapping my wife in her face. I cherish her...she is my life.
Obviously your husband isn't like that. Again, this is the USA, divorce is part of our society.
Get a job, sue for spousal support, child support and get rid of him as much as you can. A woman that allows it to happen just so the "family" isn't broken is already on the losing side and is going to live a life of hell.
2006-12-09 00:44:32 · answer #3 · answered by Magicman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to stay with someone who disrespects you? You can get a job and support yourself and your kid. He would have to pay child support. You can find someone else who will treat you as you should be treated. You deserve better. I am sorry, but I recommend you leave him. Get a divorce and get child support. He knows he has you in a position and he is going to use you. You don't want to be the weak one. Show him you can do it on your own. Get training and get a job. I would let the other woman know he is married to you.
2006-12-09 00:31:05 · answer #4 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
cut his dick off? Why are you not wanting to leave him - because you don't have a job?? Get a freaking job then and leave him. You don't want a broken family? hmm but you want your child to grow up in a home where it is okay to lie and cheat on your spouse? Trust me - get a job - get some self confidence and leave him. Many other men out there that aren't cheaters.
2006-12-09 00:30:10 · answer #5 · answered by T C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart.... You already have a broken home. Do yourself & your child the greatest favor you can do ... leave him. He will never change, I promise you that a man who loves you & will treat you like you are the only woman on the planet, is out there waiting for the chance to prove it to you...
2006-12-09 00:38:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront him about it, if he's any kind of a man- he'll either shape up or leave. And if he leaves, don't let him get away without paying spousal and child support, guys like that deserve to pay- they're creeps!
2006-12-09 00:35:07 · answer #7 · answered by TheONEJay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know that you know about the other woman. Then you can see if HE will make the choice, because if he loves you & he obviously doesnt want to leave you with the kid. (otherwise he would have already dont that). Then he will stay with you.
2006-12-09 00:31:24 · answer #8 · answered by dee bee007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a job and then leave. There is always spousal support, alimony, and child support.
2006-12-09 00:29:48 · answer #9 · answered by MsFancy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a dose of his own medicine.
2006-12-09 00:36:37 · answer #10 · answered by cb56br 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋