My son has been dating this girl for a year. She is insecure and extremely jealous. When he tried to break up with her, she fell pregnant and he has had the pregnancy confirmed. Now she thinks he is going to stay with her because of the baby. As he has explained to her, he cannot live with her because of her raging arguments and being accused of things he hasnt done. Now she is constantly on the phone to him saying that she is threatening a miscarriage and i think all her tactics are to get his attention. It seems she will do anything to get what she wants. She has even told me (his mother) to butt out of their lives. First of all I dont butt into their lives and I will stand by my son whether she likes it or not. Any sound advice out there. We are not use to this sort of behaviour and quite frankly I dont know how to handle her.??
2006-12-08 23:09:43 · 5 answers · asked by Vonnie S 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Best thing to do is to stay out of there troubles for now. It seems like you are having a hard time dealing with her hurting your son and being abusive and you feel like he is trapped. But here lies the problem, he must feel the pain in order to make a decision on what to do. Yes, you are older and wiser, and can see the bigger picture, but he hasn't just yet. Just listen to him when he needs to vent, but he will need to make that decision for himself. Your input will only confuse him.
Now with that being said, you need to understand what makes them tick. He was originally with her for a reason other than pregnancy and you need to respect that, he may truly love her but is afraid you will not accept his feelings. Are you so sure your son has treated her well? Don't automatically assume she is the only one to blame for a poor relationship. Remember there are two sides to every story, and you must be willing to look at it from her point of view right now. I don't get that you do, because of your strong defense of your son. I could be wrong, but that is the feeling I am getting. Try to get to know this girl and welcome her into your family, afterall, she is carrying your grandchild. If you keep pushing her away, no matter what her behavior, you are going to have trouble later on down the road when trying to see your grandchild. I know if my sons were to get a girl pregnant, I would do all I could to help them make a go of it, if it didn't work out at least they tried.
Call your son's girlfriend and go shopping for baby clothes or go for dinner. As far as her threat, do you not remember how neurotic pregnancy can make a person? Her hormones are going crazy at this moment and she may say and do things she typically would not do.....I know I did. Please accept her and make this easier on everyone involved. I am sure she feels very alone at a time she needs support. Whether he decides to continue a relationship with her or not, there will be eighteen more years of contact with her and you may as well make the best of them. Good Luck!
2006-12-09 00:50:39 · answer #1 · answered by stacey h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you met with her parents? Does she live with them? If not, then you should get a lawyer to deal with everything legally. Have a paternity test ordered and find out if this is really your son's baby...if it is, work out an agreement for support, vistitation etc. but do it through the courts...that way you can also put some boundaries around her behavior....good luck...not a nice thing to have to go through...
2006-12-08 23:14:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a classic case of "entrapment''...and your poor son is now going down a LONG ROAD of HELL because of this woman...which is a shame...now that she's pregnant, she will make his life as miserable as possible as long as there is a kid involved....I wouldn't let the threat of miscarriage scare me at all...because if she really does have this kid, she is only going to use it against him to make his life miserable from here on out. He'd better get a good paying job too, because if she can't have 'him'....she'll get all his money and the courts WILL help her do it..
2006-12-09 03:23:07 · answer #3 · answered by Ziara 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do everything in court. And if she continues to threaten the baby call the police. And get a restraining order also. If you can't afford a lawyer (I'm in Calif.) go to legal aid. I would ask the judge to have her psych. tested. for the safety of the baby.
2006-12-08 23:58:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son used to have a jealous clingy girlfriend. She found out I had more of an influence over him than she thought I did. She's history and he plainly sees her for what she is.
2006-12-08 23:30:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋