2006-12-08 22:59:22 · 16 answers · asked by Redhead 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let's be fair. Some married men do this, not all married men. Also some married women carry on affairs with no intent of leaving their husbands as well. As for the men who carry on these kinds of affairs, they probably split into two camps: those who feel they can't leave their wives and those that don't want to.
When you get married it changes and complicates your life -- especially when you have kids. So the men who feel trapped often don't want to disturb the difficult balance at home even if they're unhappy. Then, some men like what they have at home yet, sexually, they simply need variety or a partner that can satisfy their sexual needs in ways their wife can't.
Another factor is opportunity. Many of the women in these affairs with married men do so knowing they are with a married man. So shame on them too.
Then you have to consider the men who are closeted gay men who want to keep that part of their lives a secret. But that's a whole other discussion.
Bottom line: cheating is cheating regardless of who does it or who they're doing it with. It's a problem of personal intergity.
I think our society is long overdue for a mature discussion about the realities of human sexuality and the limitations that a lifetime of monogamy places on an individuals sexual growth and development over the course of their life.
Over the past few years, there have been many articles and books written about the phenomenon of sexless marriages. Many couples are too overworked, tired, and stressed to have sex with each other. Another related phenomenon is the large number of women in their 30's complaining of a complete loss of their libido.
So, while I may not agree with infidelity on principle I understand why people cheat.
2006-12-08 23:51:40 · answer #1 · answered by Clayton B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is generally not a good idea to evaluate somebody else's life choices based on what "everybody" says. For "some" people, that is certainly true that the guy won't leave his wife. But in your case, you are divorcing him well after the fact - so, WHY oh why are you even concerned about whether or not he goes running to her? Since you no longer want him, what difference does it make? IF you had been able really to repair and renew your marriage bond (merely staying together grimly does not count), you would not be divorcing him. Clearly he is capable of all kinds of deceptive behavior, including but not limited to sneaking around and lying to you for more than a year, so the fact that he has slagged her off in front of other people and now is running to her seems pretty consistent with that, doesn't it? But even beyond that, he never really returned to you "emotionally" - since you say yourself that he probably didn't leave because you threatened suicide, he probably felt like a hostage back in your marriage - and you probably felt as though you had taken a hostage, since you saw the connection he had with her. Don't spend a lot of time evaluating other peoples' motivations and behaviors once you've decided they are not for you anymore. You were married VERY young, and you've both gone through a lot of changes. Pick yourself up with dignity and move on. And by the way, you have no idea what will happen with them - their story is not yet written. Maybe he'll do the same thing to her, some day.
2016-03-29 00:42:54 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why by the cow when u can get the milk for free? If they leave their wives chances are it will cost them dearly financially and if there are children involved they know they'll rarely get to see them.
If your the one having an affair with a married man think of this... if he's gonna leave her to come to you... wont he do the same to you one day? leave you for another? YES... he will.
If you were married to a man how would u feel if u were the one getting screwed around on. And dont listen when he says all the lies like "oh she doesn't treat me right" or "she's doing this or that".
2006-12-08 23:05:01 · answer #3 · answered by danathefairy1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men seek out affairs for the physical act. Some men do it for the thrill but most married men actually seek something they are not getting from home.
2006-12-09 00:06:53 · answer #4 · answered by fortyninertu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The wife provides stability, companionship and perhaps family.
The mistress(es) are uncomplicated fun.
I do not say I agree with the idea, BUT that is the reality of it I think. BOTH sides go in knowing that the affair is arguably not a decent thing to do - both get something out of it.
2006-12-08 23:01:22 · answer #5 · answered by Mark T 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because their wives r someone they can fall back on for stability or whatever u want to call it.
I don't condone what they do, it's VERY wrong but thousands of men do it and undoubtedly women do it too.
R u the victim of this kind of assault? I say assault because it is a form of assault isn't it? U r beaten and battered (emotionally not usually physically) and it takes months, sometimes years to recover.
Or r u the other woman?
I don't know what else to say.
2006-12-08 23:15:46 · answer #6 · answered by kiwi_mum1966 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they know the old saying " A Bird In Hand Is Better Then Two In The Bushes" !!!!!
2006-12-08 23:19:43 · answer #7 · answered by bisexualmale s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because they want the house clean, the laundry done, an acceptable image so bad, they even lie to themselves to keep it.
some - not all men, though.
2006-12-08 23:19:30 · answer #8 · answered by luckylady 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a very good question, I am a guy and I do not know either
2006-12-08 23:44:45 · answer #9 · answered by www.tr-avel.com 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first because they are pigs
wife is more stable than a mistress
2006-12-08 23:02:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋