I'm a woman in my early 20s and maybe it's because I'm too trusting and loyal maybe it's because there is something really wrong with me (I don't want to start thinking like that) but I keep getting disappointed by female friends that I really trust. I go ALL OUT for any of my girlfriends and a lot of them turn out to be dishonest, flaky, sneaky, or will just stop calling for some odd reason. I have never had problems finding and maintaining friends where I'm from (Austria) but ever since I moved here (6 years ago) I can't seem to get a grip on how American femlae friendships work for I was brought up with a "don't like you? won't pretend I do" attitude. Maybe it's really just a cultural thing, maybe it's me, or maybe it's something I haven't thought of. Can you help me? It's hard not to take it personally.
2006-12-08 18:46:30 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Unfortunately, it seems that American women have problems cultivating relationships with each other ... So, it's not just you. Espcially in their late teens-early 20s. Once they've matured and settled down some, it gets much easier. There's always this hint of arrogance and mistrust. Or so I've found over the years.
And of course, I'm generalizing a lot here. There are plenty of exceptions. As for me, I don't make friends with women nearly as much as I should (considering I'm a lesbian). I tend to hang out with guys for drinks or talking/chatting, etc. Maybe you could try to meet some guys as friends? You'd be amazed at how guys pick up on the catty issues among women and their friends. You could kick back and talk about it with them ... =)
2006-12-08 18:55:42 · answer #1 · answered by jillians_apologist 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IT might be your expectation from your own culture then here in America. Have you tried women's group in a church?
You can find faithful friends whom you have in common with, and true friends to count on.
You know, question yourself on how it was in Austria, your friendships there, and here, are you putting efforts in your friendships? The more you put in, the more you get out of it, do they have jobs, families and etc.
America is a fast pace culture, and really no one knows how to relax and take the moments as a gift!
2006-12-09 21:32:42 · answer #2 · answered by ourjacobdavid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girls can be catty *** bitches! Being in california, I see the stuck up bratty girls who never worked a day in their life and get everything from daddy. Girl friends are hard to find. Most of the time, girls who are like that are jealous and insecure about themselves. It was really hard for me to find my best girlfriend, and it took alot of bitches to find an awesome one. I just laugh at the girls who act like lil brats!!! I have waay more guy friends than I do girls, and I like it because guys aren't catty and they laugh at the catty ones!
2006-12-09 02:53:59 · answer #3 · answered by LiL JoJo Sneakers 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is somewhat of a cultural thing. It takes a lot of time and patience to cultivate worthwhile, trusting relationships here.
2006-12-09 02:49:29 · answer #4 · answered by scumboot 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have lost all my girl friends in the last few years. i can't deal with their pettiness. i am 24 and i think it has to do with the age. i am married & have been with my husband for 7 years now. we are both in college & are pretty well off for our age. many girls are so jealous of all that i have at my age. it gets to the point where i can't be friends with them anymore.
so, no, it is probably not you-- it is the women.
2006-12-09 02:49:32 · answer #5 · answered by christy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
US women dont make the best friends... eventually you will come across a few that wont be so disappointing... but dont have too high of expectations...
2006-12-09 03:00:26 · answer #6 · answered by J 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My favorite quote: "Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed".
2006-12-09 02:49:00 · answer #7 · answered by tumbleweed1954 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
"look before you leap" Quote
2006-12-09 02:50:43 · answer #8 · answered by Emily 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋