I need best friend adivce....?

Question

My best friend is always busy, and can never seem to talk online for more than 5 minutes. She NEVER calls me, or makes any effort to hang out. I always have to call/text/arrange hanging out with her. I haven't seen her in like 2 months and barely talked to her on the phone. I truthfully don't think she's being a very good friend, and she can't even seem to make time for me, ever. I feel so frustrated because at first she was the one who didn't want to grow apart from me in high school since we go to different schools. But now she's the one who's not trying to keep communicating and hanging out with me. Yet she seems to act like there's nothing wrong. I need advice... what should I do? Or do es anyone have a story similar to mine?

How do you deal with a situation like this?

Answer 1

Well, given the fact that you 2 go to 2 different schools, that's going to make it tough on both of you to remain as close as you have been. I have a 16 year old daughter, and her best friend goes to a different school as well. These 2 girls really do love each other, almost like sisters. But there are times when 1 of them is very involved in their extra-curricular activity (my daughter is in theater, her bf is in marching band), then days/weeks will go by when they don't see each other. Her bf even called this afternoon while my daughter was at a rehearsal wanting to know if she wanted to go to a basketball game tonight. I already knew she wouldn't be able to, because of her schedule, and my daughter has finals next week, so she'll be studying all weekend. They take advantage of the times they do have to spend together and make the most out of them.

Your friend may seriously be very involved in her school, studying, etc., and honestly doesn't have as much time for you as she'd like to right now. Why don't you try to get together with her during the holiday break that's coming up, and do something with her? It takes a little more work to keep a friendship going when you don't get to see each other on a regular basis, but it sounds like you don't want to lose this friendship.

Another thing I want to tell you, is that our friends will constantly change throughout our lives. I have friends today that I didn't have 5 years ago, and there people who I once considered close friends, who now I don't. So it happens to all of us, and it happens during your whole lifetime. Change is a part of life, and as our interests, schedules and life situation changes, so will our friends. Make some friends at your new school, and you won't feel the "loss" of this good friend of yours nearly as badly. Good luck to you!

Answer 2

My daughter does. She's almost 12yrs old and since kindergarten she's been close friends with this girl. Well they hung out all the time until her mom and dad got divorce and she got were she would tell my daughter she would come over then she wouldn't even call her back. She IM's my daughter but I've noticed that the only time she makes for my daughter is when she has nothing else to do. Then she wants to come over or hang out. Last year she told my daughter she got her a Christmas gift so my husband took our daughter out and bought her friend one. My daughter gave her friend her gift and her friend told my daughter that her gift was at her moms, then she would tell her it was at her dads. To this day she has never gave my daughter the so called gift she got her. This said a lot like your friend. She likes you but she's got a new circle of Friends and you now are at the bottom of the list. You need to do what I've told my daughter and forget about her and find you other friends. Don't let people do this to you. She'll call when she hasn't heard from you in a while but you need to not answer her. Give her a dose of her own medicine. Make new friends to go out with and hang out with, forget about her.

Answer 3

hey,your situation is just like mine but my situation is we go to the same school.
it really hurts me when she started avoiding me but before all of this happens,everyday we talk text MSG and hang out,but now every thing change and i don't even know why. at the end i move on.. i thought she was my world but i think i was wrong. i got a new friend who is always there for me. sometimes we just need to move on and forget the past because we never know what is set for us in the future.

Answer 4

I think you should sit down and talk to her and let her know that you feel she isnt trying to make this friendship work tell her that its kinda one sided now and you thought she was your friend. Let her know how you feel dont keep holding it in and making yourself feel down. Just remember no matter what happens you pulled your side of the friendship and tried to keep contact and keeping things working but a friendship works two ways let her know that. Maybe she has a reason for the way she is acting!! Good luck Sweetie!!!

Answer 5

i also felt the same way too..

when we were in elementary, we really hang out and we always tell each other that we're gonna be friends forever and that i'll be her no.1 bestfriend..but things changed when she enrolled in other school...we barely see each other and only talk through letters..one day i found out that she had another bestfriend..i felt confused 'coz i know that she keeps her promises to me..but i found myself wrong 'coz i heard it straight from her that she really have a new bestfriend..i asked her about her promise but she said that her new bestfriend and i are sharing that spot on her...i got hurt from what i heard 'coz i really trusted her so much and loved her as my greatest bestfriend..

i know some incidents of my story are not related to yours but from what i've read on your question, both of our BF have really really changed..they just leave memories just like that and never care..i think some people are really changed from "changed" (get the picture?)
i'm really happy when i met my bestfriend..i'm happy coz i feel that i have a TOMOYO[(from cardcaptor sakura),it's the BF of the protagonist, if u wanna know about it, you can check it out at youtube.com with CARDCAPTOR SAKURA as your search] at my side...

a year ago after she enrolled in another school, she also started not to call,txt, and write a letter to me..i called her once and i asked her why is she doing this and she said that she was just busy( like your BF)..one day i really confronted her about this happening between us..i said that she changed a lot but she said that she never was..

what kind people are this?????

Answer 6

well if you want to spend more time with her you should arrange something that you both do together thats kind of like when i have a friend and i introduced her to my other friend and my other friend saw me going over to them when they were playing and she would yank her away that happend when i was in 1 or 2 grade but we got it settled. so you can arrange something with her or when you get a chance tell her the truth nicely to her.

Answer 7

1st u need to find out why she isnt hanging out with u anymore. say "whats been keeping u so busy lately?". sometimes theres a reason for it. maybe somethings going on with her family and she has no time to hang out and talk

Answer 8

Sorry I really don't have an answer.Am just here to plead for serious answers cos am actually in the predicament also.And am thinking of letting go.Thanks to all who can provide answers.

Answer 9

my cuzin started acting the same way, you just have to realize as we get older people grow apart and people change and you just have to learn how to deal with this type of change

Answer 10

jus leave and move on, noone is dependent on anyone.