hubby still keep contact with his ex grl friend ,,tell me if it's wrong or if it"s just me !?

Question

My hsuband was with this grl ,well his high school sweet heart and (fist lover) for almost 10 years , he loved her and was crazy about her , but
they broke up last year because he caught her with another man in her house.
after the incedence, they did not talk to each other for a long time untill recently my husband sent her an email saying that he forgive her,ever since ,they been keeping contact via ,email phone , and she even sent him a gift for his birthday .

he said that he loves me and i am one of the best thing that ever happen to him .
so do u think i should tell him to stop getting contact with his ex , or shall i let it be .
need your advice before i do or say anything stupid to him .
by the way im pregnant by him .

Answer 1

Seeing as its only been a year since their break up and they were together for so long, I would be uncomfortable with it. If it was someone from way in his past that he continued to be friends with before he met you than that would be different. He said what he had to say to her about forgiveness for closure and the relationship should be just that - closed! I would definitely talk to him about it and let him know you are uncomfortable with it and you would rather he not keep in contact with her. Tell him to put himself in your shoes and ask him how he would feel if you all of the sudden starting talking, emailing and receiving gifts from your ex. When you talk to him try not to sound jealous, demanding or give any ultimatums. Reinforce that you are happy he was able to forgive her and get closure in this past relationship but remind him that he is in a relationship with you now and that he should respect your feelings and wishes.

Answer 2

I would tell her exactly what you said in your last paragraph, Don't make it an ultimatum but let her know you are uncomfortable with it. Give her a last chance to end it or at least not be so blatant about her contact with the ex. If she persists in a a relationship then let her know you will not be a part of it and will only be around her when it is absolutely necessary such as family gatherings. Try not to get others in the family involved, though. She is being quite childish if you ask me! Good luck!

Answer 3

That long in a relationship will cause some pretty deep feelings and a strong friendship. He is still feeling the friendship part and wants to stay in touch. Normally, this would be kind of OK, as long as there is a lot of trust between you. BUT..she ended the relationship by cheating so you know she is capable of this. Cheaters cheat forever. More than likely, he still remembers the intense pain and sense of rejection he felt when she did this and wouldn't want to set himself up again. If he tends to think with his small head though, look out. Be careful though. Pushing to hard may result in pushing him away. No advise on how to do that. Good luck hon. congrats on the baby.

Answer 4

If they just broke up a year ago then obviously you haven't been together for very long and are on rocky ground. You need to let him know how this is affecting you and the harm that the stress could cause the baby. Tell him your uncomfortable and see if he takes it upon himself to stop contact, if he dosen't and your still concerned then tell him it has to end, but give him the opportunity to handle it first, it may show you if he's a decent guy and thinking of your feelings not just his own.

Answer 5

I think we need more information......did he tell you that he was contacting her initially before he did it? Did he ask for your opinion and feelings on the matter? Is he communicating with her openly and not keeping it a secret? Can you read everything they are saying to each other back and forth? If it's all in the open and they include you in their communiation....meaning this ex is talking to both of you individually and/or a couple I wouldn't worry that much about it.......but if either he or she or both specifically don't include you on anything I would be worried about it......and if he does communicates with her without talking about it with you or disregards your feelings then I would worry about that too.

Whatever way it is.....you SHOULD tell him how you feel and be able to talk it out....if he just dismisses your feelings/opinions/concerns....then I think you may have a bigger problem.

Answer 6

This sounds all to familiar. I would confront him nicely and tell him that this situation is making you uneasy. I would also let him know that the stress is difficult for you and the baby. He likely doens't even realize it is hard on you. You should really let him know, but don't make it sound like a jealousy issue, just tell him that its basically a comort issue.

At least that is what I would do. Good Luck. By the way my best friend is in the exact situation.

Answer 7

Watch out!!! She may want him back, and it sounds like he never got over her. You were married very quickly after they split. and the fact that you are expecting may be part of it.
He may not say it but he may be worried about having a family. He contacted his ex. first. he may love you and you may be the best thing to happen to him. but there is something missing, and his ex has it. Some men are less attracted to pregnant women, and he may feel that the baby is more important to you than him. His ex probably says things to make him feel special.
He might love you but is he "In love with you"? The fact that he phones her, etc in front of you shows he has little respect for you or your feelings. You need to talk to him about it, tell him you don't like it. He is with you, if you ask him to stop calling her etc. and he says no. Then they could be seeing each other again.

Answer 8

You need to speak to your husband. Just talking to an ex is not neccesarily wrong. If he's keeping you "in the loop" on what is being said then there's no reason to worry. However, if he's keeping secrets and you're finding this stuff out on your own then there may be reason to worry. Communication is key. Trust your instincts.

Answer 9

Excuse me but they broke up last year and he had already moved on and married you? Sounds a little quick. If he truly loves you tell him that he needs to break off all contact with her that you are his wife and that you deserve some respect. If he doesn't let him know that you will leave him. Good luck and congratulations on your pregnancy

Answer 10

Tell him it is completely unacceptable to be in contact with her. If he loves you and wants nothing from her, he will stop immediately. This hurts you, right? That is reason enough. You even have the right (if you have the nerve, & I hope you do) to tell her that she is an interference in your marriage. If she is only after friendship, a true friend wouldn't want to bring him marital trouble.