Should we be affected by what other people do??

Question

I have a coworker who does things that bug me. I have asked her a few times to stop, and her response is that I shouldn't be affected by it because its my choice to allow myself to be bugged by it. So, my question is, is it wrong for the actions of other people to affect you?

Thank you for the quick answers!

Here is the problems

We work at a sub shop and when we close the duties are separated by what needs to be done in the front and what needs to be done in the back. She will come up to the front and start doing my part of the work. I understand she is just trying to help, but it doesn't help us get out any faster. So, what I want is for her to do her work and for me to do my work.

The other thing that bugs me is that she doesn't make customers the priority. Company wide policy is that whenever a customer comes in you are to immediately stop what you are doing and go help the customer. But, she will complete whatever she is doing before helping the customer. What then happens is that since i am dropping what i am doing and she is finishing what she is doing, I help most of the customers while she does the easy work in the back.

Answer 1

It really depends, if it effects your health and well being (or in some cases your moral values) than they do need to stop. And what im talking about is smokeing as mentioned above, or if they are stealing (moral values) than if could affect you, not only personally, but also your job. If they wont stop let them know that you have asked them nicely to stop and if they continue then you will go to management or someone higher. As an employee, I treat people as i would want to be treated. I know that I still may bug people, but if they ask me to stop then i do try to find a way to stop. Its hard to work in an environment where you and your co-workers dont get along, and if it has anything to do with things outside of work, then they need to not bring their problems to work.

Answer 2

We automatically have to be affected by what people do, because, unfortunately, we are social animals.

Is your coworker complaining about you? Possibly. Your being bugged by whatever she does is probably affecting her, too.

We all must accept a certain amount of tolerance within ourselves and from others. But there is a line, and that is determined by what the consensus is among reasonable people. You don't say what the problem is, so no one rightly can answer your question.. We don't know if you're justified or just an uptight picky person. Maybe ask again and provide details. Then you might get a consensus. Although you'd probably get a lot of the usual rude Yahoo! answers, and long-winded ones like mine, but its worth a try.

Good luck and thank you for reminding me that I love self-employment.

Answer 3

Maybe we shouldn't but we are sometimes. Some people either try really hard to get on our nerves or they are totally insensitive and inconsiderate people . These are the ones we have no choice to ignore when they are sending their loud voices our way. What choice do we have in that circumstance? If they can keep their irritations away so we don't have to hear them then that is when we have a choice. We can then choose to go over to them and be annoyed if we want, without it being forced into our own space. Our nerve impulses are there to help us out in times they are called upon to produce the correct action or to make us aware of our surroundings. What would happen if we did not respond to a call for help? The problem is, there will always be those who choose to take advantage of us for their own reasons, such as getting attention, or making you appear irritable. This is a characteristic of passive aggressive behavior.

Answer 4

It depends on what your coworker is doing exactly.
If she coughs a lot then she can't help it. If she is blowing smoke on you all the time that's different and she needs to stop.
Based on what you have added, the key is good communication.
If you can tellher in a friendly way exactly what you have told us without getting her upset in any way, and so that she is RECEPTIVE to it, you may find it helpful.

Answer 5

I think she is right to an extent. Once you realize what it is that is bugging you-choose not to let it affect you. It is possible to do that. Now if some thing some one else does is dangerous or illegal that is a different story.

Answer 6

A co worker should stop doing things if they bother you.
but some people don't care for others feelings.

if possible stay away from her.if you can change place that will be good.
you did not mention where you work and ahat bothers you.
this is true that we can't tell others how to behave....but if it is affecting your work and if she is really annoying you, you can complain to higher authority.

Answer 7

Other peoples actions always effect someone elses especially at work.

Answer 8

In this case I think it's either your intolerance or their lack of consideration or both . you haven't given any detail to judge from.
You might ty being more like the cynic of ancient Greece who aimed at self-control and independence:
http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/cynic