Boys find me ugly whenever they happen to already know that i like that. I've been told by the people who love me that i'm not ugly and that i'm actually pretty. But are they saying this just to comfort me?? It seems that for the whole 14+ years of my life, no one has ever liked me before. Sometimesm this thought depresses me and makes me feel all worthless and ugly, thoughts of suicide and deaths come rushing through my mind and i injure myself too. Is my life really THIS s*itty?
2006-12-08 18:07:22 · 10 answers · asked by Clemence 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
In Your age, anything that involves Your physical appearance seems very much important to You. This is the time when a person's sexuality is rising up and such comments (I mean about a person's look) can have very serious aftermaths in emotional way and in self-recognition of a person.
Girls are especially vulnerable, because they are more mature than boys (I mean psychologically). They find themselves prepared for mating (especially if they have already got their period), but left aside because of their appearance. That behaviour of the environment makes them unsure of their purpose in life, because the very basic purpose of a woman is to give birth to a child (or children), and all other possible purposes (like winning the Nobel prise in chemistry) were not discussed in ancient times, when the woman's role in comunity was established. Disapproval of a woman's physical properties can induce emotional stress and deviations in general behavior toward the environment (including agressiveness and self injuring).
Popularity (or unpopularity) at school also influences the way of seeing Yourself. In teen age, boys generally find girls attractive (hence popular) if the girls have fully developed breasts, blonde hair, some or too much make-up and if they behave like princesses - partially stupid and partially rude. That makes girls wanted by the boys, because they appear to be an easy prey.
Advice. Stop hurting Yourself. You are not ugly, You just do not pay enough attention to the way You look. I presume that You have a friend (preferably female), that could teach You how to use make-up and how to dress, in order to emphasise the "good looking" parts of Your body and face. Meanwhile, read books and learn about men's psychology (there are many books about it, although it is very simple). Increase Your knowledge, educate Yourself. Anyway, You haven't said that You were not clever, have You?
Life is beautyful, and You should enjoy every second of it. Don't get disturbed by the stupid 14 years old boys. In age of 16 or 17 You will think of these days as of a phase in Your life, when You did not understand men and how stupid they are.
OK, I know that it is too long for You to wait until 16 or 17 to get a boyfriend, but it is better than never. After all, it is only 2-3 years away. But, that time should be used for upgrading Yourself, both physically and mentaly, in order to get prepared for an efficient boyfriend-hunt, not for mourning over Your s...ty life. The life is what You make of it.
So, make the best of Your life, with YOur own efforts. You will appreciate Yoursel more than YOu do now, and it will influence the people's oppinion about YOu.
2006-12-08 19:00:51 · answer #1 · answered by Vlada M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
most people your age think they're ugly and unloved, whether they really are or not, there's really very few ugly people in the world. if the people who love you say you're pretty, trust them. I know everyone wants the outside opinion of them to be good, too, but these are people who know you the best, they've seen you at your worst and at your best and if they think you're pretty, you are.
the thing you need to think about is these boys who are making you feel so bad. how old are they? 16? 17? take it from someone who knows, most boys that age are jerks and don't know ANYTHING about life or women. ignore them, they're not worth even thinking about. wait until college, when some of them will start to mature.
injuring yourself isn't ever good, I'd suggest you get professional help for that, someone who can help you see yourself the way your loved ones see you, because that's who you really are.
2006-12-08 18:21:42 · answer #2 · answered by Deek 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Know one thing, for it is common to all life:
When it is your time to mate, it will happen, no matter what you might have or not have planned.
And then the joy of mother/father/hood will make your life absolutely complete.
This is God's Plan, and it ALWAYS WORKS. Worry not.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and that's all's that counts. One who will cherish you, and stick by you in a marriage vow.
Enjoy your youth, for that is one thing you must not squander, for once wasted, is truly gone.
An Old Guy. Been There, Done That. God Bless.
And if this is a Yahoo Shrink ?, they can go impregnate themselves.
2006-12-08 18:16:21 · answer #3 · answered by ? 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need the calm clear influence of a therapist and not every one in this world is beautiful as if that was the only thing that mattered you are probably the victim of commercialization to sell products at any ridiculous cost even at the risks of warping values beyond recognition and good sense. Cheer up you haven't even begun to find your talents and/or nitch in life!
We all live in a world of sh!t but what are you going to do about it is what matters and not accepting defeat is one of the first steps.
peaceout and learn to enjoy life it only comes around once.
2006-12-08 18:22:24 · answer #4 · answered by dogpatch USA 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone goes through this at your age. You should not judge your worth or beauty by the fact that you have not had a guy like you yet. You are still very young, and trust me there is someone for everyone. Listen to the people who love you. no one else really matters. You will find someone who likes you and who you will like when you least expect it. dont fixate on it or obsess over it that will just make you crazy.
2006-12-08 18:20:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the people who love you say you are pretty believe them - they are the most important people in your life. Remember also, beauty is only skin deep. Even the most beautiful peopl look in the mirror some days and beleive they are ugly too.
2006-12-08 18:17:29 · answer #6 · answered by Zoey E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are a beautiful person and do not listen to anyone who says otherwise. Other kids can be very mean these days. Got talk to someone and for crying out loud quit hurting yourself. God loves you !!!
2006-12-08 18:16:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Neither one is immoral. besides the shown fact that i will say that examining the Bible is a call human beings make, and homosexuality is an in-born charm to the comparable intercourse and for that reason, no longer a call.
2016-10-14 07:57:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop worrying about looks no one is perfect develop some personality stop all the self loathing enjoy life to the fullest
2006-12-08 18:22:28 · answer #9 · answered by TBONE 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get some professional help please, because self-injury is serious. i can't give you tips because i'm not an expert, but your self-esteem has hit bottom and you need a drastic method out of it A.S.A.P . (For me no face is ugly. only the heart and how shitty a person is makes me wanna throw up)
2006-12-08 18:13:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋