what must we do as parents when my son's girlfriend gets pregnant? he's 23 years old?

Question

my son is still in college.

Answer 1

THINK OF A NAME FOR THE BABY


WHEN SHE GETS PREGNANT???
HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT YOUR SON OR HIS GIRL WANT A KID?
ANYWAY...YOU MUST TALK TO THEM IF YOU FEEL STRONGLY ABOUT IT
AND DO IT NOW!!!!!
DO NOT WAIT UNTIL IT IS TOO LATE.


GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 2

At 23 years old, your son is legally an adult. He is not absurdly young to be a father and it is possible to be a parent and continue studying. You do not mention how old his girlfriend is but I am going to assume for now that they are in the same age bracket.

If the baby is unplanned and they go ahead with the birth, their relationship may bacome stronger and they certainly will mature very quickly. You will most likely see a different side to your son. A baby is a blessing even though it can sometimes feel like a curse. Support your son but don't smother him too much. I would not lecture or rant and rave, this will likely build a brick wall between you.

I don't think it is wise to marry just because you have a baby. If the two of them are still together in a couple years after the baby and they are happy, then maybe marriage could be looked into. Marriages that occur just to cover up a supposed good reputation often are short winded. The break up would be more complicated and it is a lot worse to be divorced that just single.

I married youngish (22yrs old) and had a baby at 25 years old. I felt I was ready to have a baby at 22 but that was not why I got married. My husband and I now have a 6 year old and my husband has been a full time Uni student since his birth. Now we both study full time. We cope well. Even better than well.... my husband is doing his PhD!

So unwed early pregnancies are not the end of the world. In fact they are the begining of a new life and grand experience.

Answer 3

Well I think that there needs to be a serious talk with both your son and the girl involved. Invite them over to have an adult discussion about it. Don't scare them or anything but let them know that you would like to meet and talk as you are also involved as grandparents in the future.

I would be very concerned if this happened with my child while they have not yet completed their education and have not been independent in the working world. So many possibilities for failure. But obviously the best solution would be to encourage them to be married as soon as possible. It is up to the girl to decide whether or not to have/keep the baby. So I wouldn't put pressure on adoption or abortion unless it is mentioned. But certainly you need to discuss how they will care for the child and provide for it. Healthcare and also which parent will want to have custody etc.

I would not force your son to stop his studies if he should decide to take on the responsibilites as a father. You should give him as much support as possible even if the two must marry and live with you to finish their studies. Because it will set them up for failure if they do not get educated or have skills needed to earn a decent income for their family. It may be hard for you but you are still the parent and must help your son as much as possible because one day he will inherit your worldly possessions and savings as well as this is your blood grandchild and the baby deserves everything (whether or not their parents are irresponsible or to blame). When you see that baby come into the world, all the love, innocence, you'll want more than anything to give him/her the moon.

Also note that if for whatever reason your son or the girl refuses to marry, then you are not at all responsible to support the relationship or child. Religiously speaking it would be encouraging your son to go against the laws of God and the morals and standards in which he was taught and raised as a child. If the expect to raise this child properly, then they must make some sacrifices. Best of luck and God bless!

Answer 4

Since you have raised this question here, you are absolutely sure that the girl became pregnant because of your son. The natural corollary would be to get them married if you are honest parents. Yet better check out the background.

My son loved girl who does not belong to our caste, language or culture. When this came to our knowledge, we got them married before things go out of hand.

Answer 5

You dont HAVE to do anything you don't want to do. It just depends on what you WANT to do. If his future is very important to you, then keep on doing the same as you have. Make sure he stays in school so he will be able to help out his familly. He really needs you guys right now. There are so many ways that this can work out for them. Just liston to him when he talks to you and he should be able to tell you what he needs you to do for him so he can help his girlfriend and baby on the way too. ")

Answer 6

All you have to do is be a good grandparent!

Help them out with babysitting if you can, organize a baby shower, etc.

If you're meaning "what if they get pregnant and don't want a baby?" then they probably won't even tell you.

Answer 7

stand by him - it must be hard as he's still in college but listen to what he wants to say and do and see if you can reamin calm and objective if possible. I know it won't be easy but unfortunately it's happened now so you've all just got to make the best of it. it could be a positive thing in the long run??

Answer 8

I don't think you are required to do anything. Continue to love your son, but you aren't responsible for his actions anymore. At 23 we make our own choices and live with the choices we make.

Answer 9

He'll just have to finish college and accept the fact that he's going to be a father.It would be great if he had support from mom and dad,a child is a gift from god whether it was intended or not.

Answer 10

If she's not pregnant now what is the problem? As for your son, he is 23, that is considered an adult, he is responsible for his own actons.