why cant I have sex like everyone else?

Question

when is it that i cant enjoy sexual contact!?! i want to be stress free but i feel that even though im crazy safe when it come to haveing sex (birth control) i cant enjoy it, i stress out to much that im going to get pregnent, im 18 and been with my boyfriend for over a year, it seems that every one around me can have sex and not worry, but i cant do that, i cant just have sex and not stress out like crazy! so i stoped having sex two months ago, and i still stress that i will get pregnent from even being around him in a sexual way. if he rubs up onto my leg and i feel wet, i freak out!! am i just peranoid?

Answer 1

wait and be patient, mr. "right" id coming to everyone....


Lucy

Answer 2

Maybe you're just not ready to have a sexual relationship yet. I mean you are still young. I got pregnant right before my 17th birthday and we used condoms and I was on and off birth control but had some problems with it so I couldn't stay on. It's scary to think it could happen to you. I was with my boyfriend for a long time before I got pregnant and well, we've been together 6 years now and are married with a four year old. It was tough but we managed.

If you're feeling this way then you should refrain from having sex until you know you are ready for it. There is nothing wrong with NOT having sex. I mean just because some people have sex all the time or sleep around doesn't mean that you have to. You do what's right for you..and don't worry about what everyone else is doing.

Answer 3

You may want to see a counselor if this continues later in life but I think right now it's just your conscious telling you that you're not ready. Premarital sex is not a good thing. You know you are not ready to be a mother. You know you are only protected 100% when you practice abstinence.

I'd suggest taking a break from this relationship and find yourself. It's important for women not to loose themselves especially in long-term relationships when men. It seems to me since you've told him--he's still trying to have relations with you. Try doing new things. Have fun with girlfriends. Experience life. Then after all your fun is out of the way and you feel you want to get back with your boyfriend and you are more comfortable sexually then go right ahead. Hope this helps you out! Hang in there--I'm sure you'll get over this feeling when you are married and trying for a baby.

Answer 4

First of all, don't be made to feel guilty for having a sexual relationship with someone before you are married. It is your choice when it comes to relationships and sex, and I don't think your feeling uncomfortable has anything whatsoever to do with the fact that you are having sex before marriage.

I am sure that you love your partner, and sex is a natural way to express that feeling.

I have been with my partner for 3 years now, and in a weeks time I am due to give birth to our first baby. Notice my use of the word partner - not husband. I am perfectly comfortable with the way our relationship is and do not believe that we need to be married to show how committed we are and how much we love one another.

The best thing I can recommend is talking to your partner about the feelings you are having. I am sure he will be very understanding, and he may have some ways for you guys to work through it together.

If you don't feel comfortable doing this, maybe you need to have a look at why you are so uncomfortable - is it really that you are scared of becoming pregnant? Is it something to do with your partner or a previous relationship?

If it really comes down to the fact that you are worried about becoming pregnant, I would recommend having a look at the most effective forms of contraception and starting one of these. When used correctly, it is very very very unlikely that you will fall pregnant. The best one I know of is the Implant (Implanon in Australia). I had this for 2 years and never once had any problems in all that time. (I later had it removed of course, otherwise I wouldn't be pregnant)

Hope this was of some help to you, and remember its your body and your relationship, make the best choice for you!

Answer 5

I think you are smart. So many really terrible things can happen from sex like AIDS and unintended pregnancy. I have stopped having all sex for these reasons. I have seen too many AIDS movies and people with AIDS and the terrible suffering is not worth it. Also the other diseases! Don't let him rub wet on your leg!
You can protect yourself if the condom is on him BEFORE HIS MEMBER TOUCHES YOU AT ALL! Also, no oral sex without a condom. Rememeber, you are the woman and it is YOU who calls all the shots as far as sex goes. YOU are the one in control of everything, NOT HIM. NEver forget this. Men cannot be trusted at all when it comes to behaiving in an intelligent way about sex.
You only have you to protect yourself.

Answer 6

If your that uptight about getting pregnant or an STD, then you shouldn't be having sex! If you want to have sex, and enjoy it, get on the pill or some form of birth control (the IUD is good for 5 years) as well as using a condom to help against spreading disease.

Answer 7

Let me just tell you that you are not alone. I am just like that (even being married for two yrs with a 15mo) I get very worried about getting pregnant even though we are safe...extra safe! If you are really that afraid of getting pregnant but still want to be sexual with your boyfriend then there are millions of other things to be pleasurable for the both of you....without "penatration". So don't stress out and don't feel like you are weird for being SMART!

Answer 8

No you are not crazy. It is probably best if you do not have sex considering you know you do not want kids right now. BUT since you are having sex, my doctor just STRONGLY recommeded that we use a condom AND a foam together at all times. I can not take birth control. He said condom alone is no good but both should do the trick. You are not alone. Very good to keep focus on what could happen.

Answer 9

you've had some very anxious reviews and some unhelpful kinfolk enter, so it really is quite comprehensible to be no longer too keen on sex. also, anti-depressants may reason a low sex rigidity. i'd advise chatting with a therapist/psychologist style. it should be valuable to search for suggestion from from someone that ought to grant good suggestion and help you familiarize your self and understand the position those thoughts come from, and extra importantly help you bypass ahead. and earnings what you want. good luck.

Answer 10

Yes, you're paranoid about worrying about getting pregnant from feeling aroused around him, but maybe you can't enjoy sex because you're not ready for it yet, at least that's what it sounds like to me. Maybe you should hold off for awhile, boyfriends of 18 year olds generally aren't all that interested in making sex enjoyable for their partners either. Just my opinion, but you don't have to have sex just because everyone else is doing it, you know? Do what's right for YOU! Good luck!

Answer 11

You sound like you need some counseling. Someone or something must have happened to you or someone close to you something happened that makes you feel bad the sexual act. This not a easy question to ask because its more to do something in your mind. Plus its not safe to just bed down anyone anymore like our parents did in the past. With so many downlown men I have to take men through test and see where their minds are at. Good Luck with that.