Trust issues.?

Question

Ever since I began dating in high school, every bf friend has cheated. I either found out by seeing it or that sicking feeling in the bottom of my tummy. Most of the time friends knew but covered it up, even long time family friends covered it up. The thing is that the signs of a cheater just jump out and slap me in the face. I don't look for them they just find me. I can't lie and act like I don't see them, it hurts too much. I can't and wont hide my feelings. I have been in a relationship for about 3 years. I am driving my bf crazy with my insecurities. He is my hero and the sweetest, kindest, sexiest, person in the world to me. I have always been in love with him since shortly after I met him. I keep seeing the signs that he is cheating. How do I stop seeing the signs? If he is cheating, that would be it, I will never allow myself to fall in love again. He truely is my hero. If I can't trust him who can I trust? Not family or friends (if I had any). HELP

First keep in mind I don't go thru his cell phone, truck, caller id, wallet or any other areas considered personal. Self-fulfilling prophecy is bs.

Second, friends and family have all known and hidden the fact previous bf were cheating. Then there are other people that have lied and stolen from me ie. landlord. Thus, I trust nobody!

Third, I have no friends or family.

Forth, why would you let someone know financial crap then lie to them about crap who you were with? Like I am going to so and so's house but not that you took someone with you or you went some where else after or the two of you or three had plans to go somewhere together. It is the information left out and how defensive he gets when I ask. It is also because he does not tell me when there are plans. Then says I took to long at the store and he waited as long as he could to go someplace but never told me something was planned. Is that intentional or forgetful?

Answer 1

Ask him if he is cheating. I have seen the signs also, and every time I do, I call him on it. I keep it light, but every time something suspicious happens I let him know that I noticed. Which lets him know that I care enough about him that I don't want to share him.

Answer 2

ok this is kinda a personal question i have caught my bf in lies that i think are cheating (and yes we all have different ideas of what cheating is) because i have had a feeling and we are still together we talk things out i am like you i have alot of issues with trust and i dont feel like hes telling the truth and sometimes i look into things to much so keep this in mind if hes cheating on you he wasnt the one talk to him about how you feel and why you feel this way hope it works out for both of us good luck

Answer 3

You can actually manifest cheating in your relationship. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, if you focus so much attentio on it.

When I work for people, they will only rip me off if I think they will, and I am looking for their signs that might suggest it.

BTW- Only self-proclaimed Christians have ever ripped me off!

Be careful what you expect- it sometimes has a way of becoming.

Thoughts are things. REALLY!

Answer 4

Adopt the philosophy that men are born polygamousand women adulterous. Enjoy the love as long as it last. If it ends, cry a little then forget it. After respite, open your heart to somebody else. Why deprie yourself from choosing from among 2 billion males?

Answer 5

break up with him now, he knows that you're not gonna break up with him if he's cheating with you so he thinks he gets the right to treat you like **** which isnt right, dont trust him, ask some of your girlies to help you out and get some inside info about him

Answer 6

Now look , u have to cofront him with the fact that u fell he's cheating...and if he really is , just break up with him , cuz if he really is , then he is no hero....

Answer 7

yeah you have trust issues...i suggest therapy. sometimes tuff questions require tuff answers