I don't find my wife sexy like I used to. She hasn't really gained weight or anything and physically she's just as hot as the day we met. She's just not as fun as she was back then. She'll go out with her friends but won't go out with just me. I've tried everything I can think of to get her excited about doing things with me but nothing works including telling her how unhappy I am and been loving and romantic (not making a move, just being romantic in a way her grandma would approve of if we were just dating). She'll still be very friendly and loving (and physical) but I've gotten where I just can't see her as anything but "mommy" and I feel like a perv when we're doing stuff because that's the only way I see her anymore. When I fantasize about being with another woman I fantasize about being with my wife from 5-8 years ago and I feel like I'm cheating on her when I do that.
Am I totally out of line here or would anyone else feel the same way?
2006-12-08 17:06:26 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, unless I somehow invent a time machine I won't be able to act on these fantasies. As for religion, I'm an atheist. My wife is a rather doubting baptist.
2006-12-08 17:20:11 · update #1
No way that isn't cheating. It's cute!
2006-12-08 17:33:50 · answer #1 · answered by jenlovely01 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that depends on your religion. Most people would say so long as you don't act on it, it's not cheating, but being brought up catholic I'd have to say yes it is. It sounds to me like you need some counseling, might help get over the "mommy" thoughts. And you both could use marriage counseling. I never prefer being with my friends over my husband. He's my best friend and I enjoy his company more than anyone else I know.
2006-12-08 17:12:16 · answer #2 · answered by sharpeilvr 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you feel like you're cheating it's hard to convince yourself otherwise. Have you tried asking her why she doesn't enjoy doing things with you anymore? Do you think you've changed after being married to her for so long?
2006-12-08 17:32:54 · answer #3 · answered by cin 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes.
2006-12-08 17:18:35 · answer #4 · answered by S K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having sex with one woman while fantasizing about another. This is not a new thing, buddy.
Are you cheating?....not yet.
2006-12-08 17:12:14 · answer #5 · answered by Odindmar 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me like you may need some counseling. it is the classic "Madonna/Whore" thing. it is not unusual and it can be tackled in counseling
2006-12-08 17:24:59 · answer #6 · answered by Emme 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes...emotionally/mentally you are.
2006-12-08 17:09:27 · answer #7 · answered by justwondering 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋