Hahah seriously tell me if you like it:
Lies
Honest and truth
Are like hammering nails in a board
Even if you take the nail out
There's still a large hole
My "friend" nailed one
One too many
Oh, that one hurt
One was plenty
:]
2006-12-08 14:53:45 · 4 answers · asked by faiza 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
To be really honest, no.
The metaphor isn't bad; it's the poetry that is lacking.
Try to put some artistic flourishes into your expressions. You could use a repeating rhythm, a subtle (not easy) rhyme scheme, or perhaps you could express your metaphor as a series of images around which a character discusses their reaction.
If you need some ideas, read some poetry. Try Robert Frost, Dorothy Parker, Nikki Giovanni, Sarah Teasdale, James Wright, or just anyone you like.
Mostly, please put some effort and art into your metaphoric expressions. Then we'll be able to truthfully say why we like it.
2006-12-08 18:17:39 · answer #1 · answered by Longshiren 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
rubbish. Take up cooking
2006-12-08 14:57:08 · answer #2 · answered by tonytoucan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's fine could be better could be worse if u know what i mean
2006-12-08 15:12:22 · answer #3 · answered by *vulcangirl008* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is kind of deep, but it is okay i guess.
2006-12-08 14:57:48 · answer #4 · answered by Journalism Geek 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋