how will i confront him with this issue?

Question

we've been married for eight years and seen each other for only once a year! its a long distance because of his work thats what he told me.so they have all the time to be together.and i just found out today what he's really doing here..i just got here in the US.now i know all the answers to my questions about him...i just atlked to the girl.i didnt fight her cause i know she really doesnt know that my husband is married..husband is not here he'll be back on sunday how will i talk to him,i dont know what to say.we have 1 kid i dont want a broken family,this is really hard for me.i dont have anyone here i've been here in the US for only two months,dont have a job yet

Answer 1

1) You don't have a marriage. You have a relationship that provides you sex and jewelry once a year. That's it.

2) Get out of the marriage. I don't like pushing divorce, but in your case it's required. He's cheating on you and using you. Your child has already lived without a father. You already HAVE a broken family.

This isn't that hard:
--He treats you like poop.
--You only see him once a year (WHY did you marry him again?)
--You have a son who has grown up with a father.
--You are in the US without a job. What better time to get out and find a better situation?

Answer 2

As a man, let me say something that you already know--all men are pigs! What you may not realize, though, is that some are mean, insensitive brutes, and others are cute little pigs you want to take home, clean up and put on your pillow. Sounds to me like you have a 'combo' pig, with characteristics of both groups.
There's no excuse for what your husband has done to you, except that he is really messed up.
Many men can emotionally handle a relationship with several women at a time, but this is a moral violation of the sacred agreement between A man and A womAn that was probably made for the duration of BOTH your lives by BOTH of you.
Please don't shoot the messenger, but it is obvious that you have been his vacation booty call for 8 years, and you have been deceived by an immature, dysfunctional person.
You probably deserve much better, and your child certainly deserves much better.
THE CONFRONTATION--show him these responses, and show his family too, if you can reach them. Family has a way, sometimes of policing their own affairs, no pun intended.
You have a Right to a trustworthy mate. I guarantee you, the chances of him making a long-term change towards you are slim, but they are there.
If he does still want to be with you, DO NOT--EVER--accept any backsliding on his part. Have a no tolerance policy toward his unfaithfulness, and develop a workable exit strategy for when he probably messes up again. Let me repeat--don't wait till he backslides to start thinking how you will care for yourself and your child.
Recidivism--the tendency to go back to former bad behavior--runs about 80 %, so your chance of being treated right is only 1 in 5.
Be prepared. Be strong. Be healthy.

And to your husband when he reads this-- you're a serious jerk, man. Pull your head out of your keaster and act like the man your mother would be proud of.

Answer 3

If he has been living a lie, then you must face reality. The only thing that can come from that is more lies. If you have only seen him once a year for eight years, then sorry sweety, that is already a BROKEN HOME. I really don't think it worth talking about. It is time to sign some papers and move on. I can't even call that a long distance relationship. That's an annual one night stand. Good Luck and I hope you make the decision that makes you happy. Follow your head and not just your heart.

Answer 4

Only you can really know how he'll react! If you confront him, do it in a place you feel safe. Safety should be first for you and your kid. Secondly, you don't need to be second fiddle. God created marriage for two, three is a clrowd. If you don't address it, you give him permission to keep doing what he is doing, then you become partly responsible. If you and the other women spoke cordially, call her over and confront him! But by all means, don't stay in this relationship. Lastly, look at yourself. why would you allow a relationship to go on for 8 years with seein each other once? That's not a marriage, it's a dentist appointment with benefits!

Answer 5

I think that you should ask the girl over and you both greet him.

He has to tell the whole awfuls tory and make some decisions.

Despite not wanting a broken family, how badly shattered is the trust?

Answer 6

get a job first, find a roomate( look in the newspaper classifieds section under rooms for rent or roomates wanted) then leave. He is a cheater ...liar, there are better men out there. u dont need to stay just because you have a kid together. thats just stup!d. dont make excuses, leave when you are financially ready. f*ck him!

Answer 7

Well, from the sounds of it, you didn't exactly have a close knit family to begin with. Is he living with the other woman? If so, I would let her have him. She isn't getting anything you should be wanting anyway.

Answer 8

Maybe you should play it quiet for now and not confront your husband. Start saving up money and then leave and go back home.

Answer 9

Honey you need to just tell him.

Just ask him if there's nothing he needs to tell you. Anything at all. Anything you have a right knowing.

And if he says no, then say "that's too bad. Goodbye"

Sorry and best of luck :-)

Answer 10

As hard as it may be you should dump him. Do you want your child to learn their ethics and morals from a man(I use that term loosely) like your husband???