Did you feel needy after your divorce?

Question

I am recently divorced and I feel so needy with the guy I am dating already. I feel so paranoid about everything, after my marriage fell apart. I feel like my expectations are really high now. Is this normal?

Answer 1

needy for a big banana

Answer 2

I haven't been divorced but we did separate for a little while and I was really needy after we decided to work things out for a bit. Also, after my high school sweetheart and I broke up in college I went through a very needy period. I was glad when I finally moved on...I didn't think it would ever happen though...

It is completely normal to feel needy or just sensitive and emotional after any loss. You have a broken heart. Even if you didn't love your ex anymore most of the time there is still that empty feeling, and the feelings of disappointment it didn't work out, rejection that he couldn't or wouldn't change for you or that you weren't "good enough" even though that isn't true.

Give yourself time. You'll heal. You didn't get so attached and fall in love in a day so it will take awhile to get back to your old self.

Good luck. SD

Answer 3

Everyone handles divorce differently.

I felt like a bird out of a cage - I had a ball.

I had to assure myself that I was desirable.

I do fear making another mistake. A great book to read is
Are You the One for Me? It will help you not make any compermises in future choices.

It takes time to grieve the loss of a marriage. Let yourself go through the emotions. Get some counseling if you can.

Make sure your expectations match the guy that you are dating.

Remember you can't find your validation in a man . You need to be strong on your own before you can stand next to someone.

Answer 4

Your expectations are high because you just came off of a divorce.Slow down with this guy and remember he isn't your ex. Get to know him before expecting anything. It is normal to want better then you had, but I think more important is to give yourself some time to learn how you can handle things on your own. You will build your confidence back up, give yourself to get over the divorce and be ready to move on.

Answer 5

How long since your divorce? A divorce is very devastating and a person needs 1-2 years to work through his/her feelings; I would not recommend a serious relationship during this time.

Answer 6

Yes I did. Everything I owned....almost.... was in my truck that I was driving ( semi ) and the rest in storage. The fact that my ex cheated on me with a guy 11 years her junior and them married the kid left me pretty needy in the self esteem and emotional departments. But.....I bounced back.....and found there IS life after being married to a mental case.

Answer 7

Yes, I was a bit needy. What helped was going out with my friends and, yes, dating. But not dating for anything serious. Just for fun. It really did help. I didn't sleep around or anything, but I did go out and have fun. Maybe you should cool it with this one guy and just have fun for a while.

Answer 8

Well, at least you know yourself and what you are doing and that's the best way to change things. Take things slow. Try and make time for you alone. Force yourself to be a little more independent and don't risk injuring a future relationship due to the past one.

Answer 9

too many expectations will get you in trouble with men. be confident, don't show your neediness, or find too many falts with the new boyfriend, or he will disapear. show confidence in yourself, and don't be too demanding. paranoia will destroy ya. you want this guy to like u, and be around, so being clingy, or negative may scare him away.

Answer 10

No, but everyone handles it different. Sometimes its best to step back from things and evaluate yourself before getting entangled with another relationship you aren't sure about. Know thyself first.