twenty and pregnant?

Question

twenty years old and pregnant. Live with my boyfriend. I don't depend on my mom or his mom we just depend on each other. During my dr appts i feel like my mid wife treats me like i am a dumb *** or like i am to young to be having a baby. all in all i was just wondering is twenty the wrong age to have a baby at. fifteen weeks pregnant.

Answer 1

Change midwives.You deserve the same respect & patient care regardless of your age.

Answer 2

Many people might say that 20 is a young age! (I'm 23 by the way and 17 weeks pregnant!) Truthfully, every person is different! My best friend had her baby when she was 20 and though she lived with her mom at the time, she met a wonderful guy about a year later and now they are going to get married. She was mature enough to handle what she was going through and everything is working out great for her, her age has nothing to do with it. On the other hand, my sister had her son when she was 20 also (exactly a year after my best friend did) and I wouldn't say that my sister is the most mature person I've ever met! In my eyes, I don't believe that my sister is handling her responsibility in the best way and is going out almost 5 days a week. With those stories in mind I don't believe that anyone can say that 20 is the wrong age! Yes, there is so much more that you might be able to accomplish and be able to provide for a child if you waited, but I say embrace what's going on! You sound like everything is going well for you since you don't live with mom and your with your boyfriend. It's good that you have him there to go through this with you (even though many times it might seem like he has no idea what is going on, haha). Try not to care what other people think because you ARE 20 (not 15) and you are independent. If you need to then tell that midwife that you would appreciate it if she talked to you like a grown human being!!! If not then maybe look for a new midwife! You deserve it! Congrats!!!

Answer 3

What alot of people don't understand is that these days, alot of women are independent and living with a boyfriend or married shortly after they turn 18. I'm 19 (I'll be 20 in less than a month) and I get this alot. I live on my own, have a very good job, and so does my husband. We support ourselves quite well, and we are trying to have a baby. When I asked my doctor why we were having trouble (A year a 6 months of unprotected sex and still no baby) he looked at me like I was stupid or something. He goes "How old are you?" and I said "Almost 20..." and then he started asking me about my job and my husband. I understand their concern, so many people having babies they can't take care of. But when you're out on your own, and you want the child, and have a job etc. there's no reason for that. My mom can't understand it either. She thinks I'm too young to be married and want kids. They just came from a different generation, and to them we are too young. We grew up in a different time, where kids were forced to grow up faster (sometimes too fast) and we (well, some of us) matured faster than other generations.

So, in short, find a midwife or doctor that supports you and your decision. Someone supportive, and caring. Because when you're pregnant, you want the best care you can possibly have.

Answer 4

I don't think your to young to have a baby my wife had my first son at the age of twenty and they were perfect, and thats cause she only looked like she was 15 yrs old and weighed 89lbs don't worry about it and congrats, don't worry about what other people think as long as you know you are happy and you might look at finding a good doctor or mid wife that doesn't judge you but helps you and is there for you during your pregenancy

Answer 5

I was 20 when I had my first son and his dad and I were just dating a year when I got pregnant. Today his dad and I are married for 7 yrs. and our 1st son is 11yrs old. It might of came a little soon but I grew up and became a better person because of it.
I know it can be scary but hang in there. My husband and I both finished college after he was born and made a good life for our son. We now have three sons. I did get the looks and comments from people that we were to young, but hey we defied the odds.
Good Luck to you.

Answer 6

I was 22 when I got pregnant same situation I lived with my b/f my mom was dead his mom didn't care so we had each other. I was treated the same way everyone talked down to me like I was stupid and naive. You are going to be a great mother! I think 20 is old enough and adult enough to have a baby. You are not a teen! Good luck

Answer 7

I don't think it's the fact that you are 20 years old with your nurse's attitude. She may just be concerned, with your first child you will indeed learn a lot. Motherhood is not as easy as it cracked up to be...Although I'm sure with your fiance you two can handle it. It's not about age when it comes to parenting but about your maturity level. Then there's questions such as can you provide a loving nurturing home, raise healthy children with high self-esteem? Can you think about some one else's needs before your own? You would be surprised some people older than 20 are not willing to meet those obligations to their children.

Don't worry about your mid-wife...I think she's just trying to do her job and looking out for your baby. Doctors are very concerned and cautious when it comes to pregnant women. They have to document everything...they don't want a law suit. They have to act confident when they talk..You wouldn't want to talk with a nurse that seemed unsure and unconfident...and passive...

Answer 8

No, its definetley not, but maybe you should have waited until after marriage, maybe thats why the mid wife is giving you a hardtime. But my parents had my brother at 20, sister 22, and me 24. Its a little more of a struggle to take care of baby and go to college. But they said it was worth it. Plus you'll be the youngest parents in the school which kids always feel proud to have. I think you'll be fine and Good luck to you and your boyfriend.

Answer 9

No actually btwn the ages 18 to 25 is the best time and if your midwife cannot accept you as a person and treat you with respect you should find a more caring and understanding mid-wife. Their job is very important and if they do not click with you and you man well I say kick her to the curb. I was nineteen when Ihad my son and I was very healthy and took care of myself, he is three now and the most beautiful boy ever and I love every minute of it, so don't think you did anything wrong you sound mature and responsible to me! =)

Answer 10

No. I had my first baby when I was 20 and everything was fine. I got married at 19 and we had our first at 20, and now Im 30 and we aer having our 4th baby. There is nothing wrong with having a baby at 20. Its probably just your doctor. I have had good doctors and stupid doctors. She may just be one of those that thinks everyone is dumb except for her. Your only 15 weeks, Id change doctors.

Answer 11

I was 22 when I had my first baby and my doctor treated me like that too. With my second I found a new doctor and I've found that my pregnancy and devivery were much better the second time. You should save yourself the grief and find a new midwife who respects you and treats you like a human being that has a right to bring a baby into this world anyway you choose.