Why do people make me feel so bad about being shy? It's like there's something wrong with me!?

Question

My grandma has been psychologically abusing me since I was a kid..I guess that's part of the reason I'm shy, and it's affecting all my relationships. I just can't seem to open up with anyone.....

Answer 1

You have to find your own self-worth. Don't let yourself be defined by your grandmother or anyone else. If you want to overcome your shyness just start out slowly. Say "hi" perhaps in passing to a stranger in the grocery store or make a comment about the weather to the cashier or ask her how her day is going. Take the focus off of yourself. Most shy people are so because they are afraid of how they'll be perceived by others. What you fail to realize are there are many others in your same shoes just waiting for someone to reach out. Be that person. Pray & ask God for the strength to give you that gift. I used to be afraid to speak in front of others. I even took a failing grade in a class in h.s. because I was afraid to give an oral book report. Speaking to others now ties in to what I do for a living.

The ONLY THING "wrong" with you is that you are letting other peoples words & opinions influence your personality. It's obvious "shy" is not who you feel you really are or you wouldn't be here asking us for help. You've made a huge step in acknowledging the problem. Now make the necessary moves to change the behavior.

God bless you in your journey.

Answer 2

Because they don't understand why it's not easy for you to just start up a conversation, or make eye contact. A lot of people see being shy as a social disfunction, but it's really just a matter of natural ability. Just like some people no matter how hard they worked at it would be able to draw/write/sing/play basket ball well.
Being outgoing is also a skill that could be just as much a part of your DNA as anything else.

Here are the few tips I've learned over the years to help make me not appear as shy as I really am.
1) Eye contact! You don't have to say anything but if you look other people in the eyes while you are talking to them, or they are talking to you, it makes you look less shy.
2) Smile and laugh! It's a simple thing, but it makes all the differance in coming across confident
3) Ask a ton of questions! People like to talk about themselves, and if you make a outgoing person carry on the conversation long enough it's really easy to not appear as shy to everyone around you.

Answer 3

Relax , They are just trying to start a conversation with you..I do not think that hey are deliberately trying to make you feel uncomfortable. If it is a guy it is kind of of a very awkward flirtation. There is nothing wrong with you . You need to get over your intimidation. Not everyone is smarter or more interesting than you. If they ask if you are shy, Turn it around on him ask them if they are worried that you are not able to hold up your end of the conversation. Smirk and Laugh at it ,show them that you are definitely engaged in what is going on. Ask them a basic question about themselves /how do they know so and so/what are they drinking? Can they recommend a drink ?or can you get them a drink?/ ask them the meaning behind a piece of jewelry they are wearing or ask how they like the place you are at. See if you can not get the conversation going .

Answer 4

There's nothing wrong with you. There's something wrong with them... It's not fair just to laugh at people just because they are not good at things and that person is... I am also a bit shy and I know it is hard to step up, but I soon got there.

But like I used to be, you are shy still. You should start practicing not to be shy. Try to enjoy life and say hi to the people in the walking streets as they go by. (Not saying that you don't enjoy life and talk to strangers.)

Work on it....

Answer 5

Some people are shy but nice once you get to know them. Then there are the rude and selfish, who are just shy to not get involved and because they really dont care about anyone but themselves.

It depends how your shyness comes off on people. Those are the breaks, we are a superficial society. Sorry. I sympathize..truly. My daughter is deathly shy and I worry about her future. I wish I knew a cure.

I'm not saying it's wrong, I just think it makes things difficult for her and I can only imagine it getting harder as time goes on, not easier. Which seems to be what you are going through.

Answer 6

There is nothing wrong with you. Society in general seems to prefer the more extroverted self-confident type of personalities. But I've often wondered to myself, how many true friends those people have in the lives versus the superficial friends. I bet you're a great friend to the ones you open up too! Let them say what they will.

Answer 7

i had a best friend that was shy and she was like the nicest friend i ever had but i had to depart w/ her because a really annoying jerky girl came int our small group and she was too shy to say anything so i just kinda left but to this day we are still friends we just dont hang out as much...

so basically i think shyness is great and u wont get as much peer pressure from friend and if u do the bad part is that u might be too shy to say no (i sure hope not)

i hope this helped

Answer 8

Believe me, it's better to be shy than loud and over-bearing. When the time comes for you to lose your shy personality, you will. When the right guy or sincere girl friend comes your way, you will be surprised how the little shy girl becomes outgoing. Good luck.

Answer 9

The only reason anyone would ever make fun of you for this is because they want to get to know you better, and apparently you are being too guarded to let them in. I am not going to tell you to be more open if you don't feel like it, but if you want to get to know people better and they make fun of you because they want you to open up, then I don't know if I should have to spell it out for you.

Answer 10

I always used to be shy, there is nothing wrong with it. Some people get the wrong idea and think shy people are stuck up, which is not true.