i'm 12 and i was raped about 4 weeks ago and i dont know how to handle it should i be mad what i feel empty and used inside!?!I told my mom and she told the police and he should be going to jail....
2006-12-08 12:42:47 · 13 answers · asked by Tierra S 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
hey hun, that is really terrible. I know how exactly you feel as i've been in the same situation. It happened to me 4 years ago, I am now 19. and it happened to be someone i knew (a friends dad, which we found out he a sexual relationship for 2 years with a 16 year old, before he molested me). I went through a court case for 3 years just finished march this year and i got compensated. he also done time in jail for 18 months, which i thought justice wasnt served. I also went through 2 years of counselling and a few psychiatrist appointments. To be quite honest , I'm still not quite over it.. Every now and again i get depressed and i used to cut myself but i've stopped doing that. I also feel ashamed, dirty, disugusted and helpless cos i wish i could have stopped it from happening but he fored himself on me. best thing hun i think you should do is speak to a counsellor and if you need more help they may suggest a psychiatrist. I also have my bf to thank as he's been great help and support and i always speak to him about it when im upset and depressed and he listens and comforts me. I almost forgot to mention, it will some take time to get over it and fully recover from it....I mean it's been 4 years since it's happened to me and i'm not as over it still but i'm not as bad as i felt 2-3 years ago .. It's just takes time...but definitely go seek some counselling
2006-12-08 13:29:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need a counselor/therapist to help you learn coping skills to get through this. Also, the trial process can help a lot.
When I was your age, my stepdad raped me and my little brothers. We told our mom and he ended up going to jail for a really long time. The trial was hard, but we had support from our family and a really great therapist. Putting him in jail did a lot for helping us get over it, but even if he'd gotten off, it still felt good to tell him that what he did was wrong.
After therapy and a lot of hard work, I'm fine.
I have a great husband, beautiful son, and a job I love. It doesn't have to be the end of the world, or the only defining moment in your life. Get the help you need, hon. It only gets better :-)
2006-12-09 02:43:42 · answer #2 · answered by sardogwill 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is way too big for us to help you with here. But I will try.
The MOST important thing is to talk to a therapist, victim's group, counselor, someone at church, SOMEONE. You MUST have professional help even if you don't feel like you need it.
Be angry. VERY angry. You have to make sure this creep WILL go to jail because of your anger.
Make sure you have thoroughly discussed the incident with the police. Your statement to them and whatever instructions they give you regarding things they can use as evidence are EXTREMELY important.
Try not to feel empty. I know it is hard but by reporting this you are doing a very brave and honorable thing. You will keep the same thing from happening to somebody else.
I realize our words may be somewhat meaningless to you right now. Please remember these 2 things above all else: make SURE this sub-human scum is locked away FOREVER and get ALL THE HELP you need for yourself.
We will keep you in our thoughts.
2006-12-08 20:53:09 · answer #3 · answered by clueless_nerd 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters, let me just say God bless you. You are stronger than you know. Also, being mad is a perfectly normal reaction, and anyone could understand why you would be mad. But, anger is an all consuming and exhausting emotion, and you need to find a healthy way to express your anger and ultimately redirect it. Maybe try a support group for people who have been through what you've been through? Not only will that give you the opportunity to open up about how you're feeling, but it will also give you the chance to help other people who have gone through similar ordeals. Once again, God bless you, and I hope I helped.
2006-12-08 21:03:02 · answer #4 · answered by black_beauty18 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, all the advice here is good. And I think I will speak for everyone when I say I'm proud of you for asking for help. Sometimes really bad things happen to us and if we don't tell anyone or ask for help we end up stuffing our feelings down deep inside. Talking really really helps, so a counselor or group is a very good thing to do. It may help you to know that you are not alone. And listen to what wise people tell you. And know that you are strong enough to recover from this.
2006-12-08 21:18:36 · answer #5 · answered by Isabel 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you're going through this. It's great that you felt safe enough to tell your mom about it, and it's also great that they already made an arrest.
Look at this website, it should give you some ideas. There are counselors there who can talk to you. The police should also be able to give you some info on victim services.
2006-12-09 13:11:24 · answer #6 · answered by Moxie1313 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey im really sorry that that happened to you but it WASNT YOUR FAULT and yes, you were used by that guy but hes going to pay the price while your going to go on and have a great life regardless, it's HIS life that is going to end not yours. you should be proud that you are going to get through this and that you had the courage to tell someone and get it all sorted out. you are brave and you can totally get through this. the best thing to do is probably to go to couselling which the police should offer you, if not ask your mum to sort it out for you because the best way to come to terms with something like this is to talk it through with sometone who just listens and wont get emotional etc.
good luck, you deserve it
xxxx
2006-12-09 11:24:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know that you ever do, but you need to get counseling on how to deal with your feeling , a lot of victims end of thinking it was their fault and have all kinds of issues because of that. It was Not your fault always remember that, but get help so the the suspect does not take all your pride and self esteem from you.
2006-12-08 20:49:51 · answer #8 · answered by Abby 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
every morning, have a 5 minitue talk to yourself.
it may sound lame, but start now, and youll see the diffrence
life is unfair and we all have to go through certain hardships in life
dont worry hun, everything will be fine
hang in there <333
2006-12-08 20:46:42 · answer #9 · answered by katie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to a counselor, I hurd that they really help, even though yall just talk about stuff.
2006-12-08 21:12:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋