Feelin down and out?

Question

Hey I am in the stage of leaving my wife of just 2 months. I feel really stink but the fact still remained that she is way too dominant and self centered. We argue about the smallest thing like me buying chips in the dollar store for guess what... A DOLLAR! She complains that I spend too much on take out a couple of days ago. I asked her if she was up for it because I wanted to celebrate my nieces bday here. She agreed to it and then this. Why didn'tshe just tell me that in the first place. I mean I would've understood. A few days ago we argued about me asking her something about the bills that needed some attention. I mean that is constructive because she tends to forget about somethings too. She fired back at me by saying that I forgot to put WD40 on the doors on the car. This is just way out of control. because what is more important the WD40and the door or the penalties for late payments. Now I've already packed up and she said that she too have made some sacrifices.

Her family sort of disowned her because we got married without her fathers consent. I understand the sacrifices we both made and we are trying to sort out our differences. But when I try to talk to her she would just come back at me with the lamest answers in the book. Hence that example of the WD40 and the bills. She actually told me last night to just leave because she doesn't need the additional stress that I was giving her. She also admitted that she could just turn me on and off just like that. I mean damn thats cold. Now Im actually thinking of the sacrifices she made for me and I feel stink of just leaving her just like that. At the moment I dont have a job yet because of some visa issues. Its taking awhile but all this additional pressure in my part is really hard to bare. Dont get me wrong, I have had a few interviews where they are really keen on hiring but its just the matter of the visa. Now we are having some financial trouble and her stress is just passing it on. ARRGGHH!

Man I am just not the type of guy that would just pack up and leave but this sort of thing is just waaaaay too much. I also felt bad cos I was gunning for this relationship to work. I have tried almost everything. Talking to her in the most reasonable manner, listening & being sensitive to her needs. But I get grilled on some things that I didn't even realise that I did. She would then take all those things in and then KABLAAAAMMM! I get shot right in the head because of not realising it. I mean she was alright during the whole day when we were conversing and then out of the blues Dr Hyde comes out. I mean what the hell is going on? Now that Im about to leave she would make me feel guilty of even leaving her because she was disowned by her father. Now she said that she doesn't have a family because of me. OH MY GOD!!!!!! Now what was I suppose to do now? Feel bad and then not go? Then later on she won't take me seriously because I understood what she was going through. MAN O MAN!

Answer 1

If you truely can't see things working anull the marriage asap to save some hassle! It may not be too late! However if you DO love her and want to make it work.....seek some marriage councilling. Dont feel silly either that you need it after 2 short months....my fiance and I had councilling for the same type of stuff...trivial really but we are both hard headed and when we think we're right....we're right....end of! lol! Councilling helped us so much and you really do learn not to sweat the small stuff. She sounds a little controlling and like she has double standards which I think she needs to learn how to get over....and I'm sure there are also issues you too need to work on. Get some help.....it really is awesome. My man refused councilling at first but when I was about to leave him he begged me to go to councilling...lol....and he's so glad he did it too....it's helped us both tremendously. Good Luck honey.....Try and have a Merry Christmas ok? :o)
P.S: Julie has a VERY valid point! It doesnt matter which is more important....each thing weighs differently with both of you....and THEN I bet you start to argue about which was is more important....and it goes way off on tangent after tangent until you cant remember what the initial argument was over....and you both feel so frustrated and convinced you're just not made for eachother....SO not true!!!!! Seek Councilling. (sorry this is how we spell it in NZ...lol)

Answer 2

FIRST off, you must have known what she was like before you married her,(and viceversa), SECONDLY, you are only two months into a marriage, so i would suggest some basic marriage counselling to try and save your obviously fragile marriage-THIRD and finally, DO NOT have children anytime soon, until you both figure out which way you are going in the future. It really would not be fair to bring up a child in an environment where petty squabbles and senseless arguments are the normality. This marriage CAN be worked on, only if you can both be equal and work together-AND BOTH MAKE SACRIFICES THAT ARE NEEDED...Best of....

Answer 3

Sorry you are feeling so down. But I don't think you should give up on the marriage so quickly. Have you tried counseling? Do you LOVE her? Marriage is ruff and it takes work and communication. Try talking to a therapist with your wife. Both of you ask yourselves do you want to make this marriage work and work on making it work or just give up after such a short time? Also, as far as what is more important the w-d 40 or the bills? Well to you it is the bills to her it is the w-d 40. Who cares as long as you get both done. I hope it all works out for you.

Answer 4

Two months wow that is such a short time to be married, and then have it all blow up in your face, i wish i could give you some real sound advice, but feel like you have had enough already, i wonder if a marriage counsellor would help... they sometimes can, just a suggestion..........i hope that things will come right good luck and god bless.

Answer 5

After 2 mths you all are arguing over one dollar, late bill payments and WD40 boy did you all make a big mistake in getting married you should still be on the honeymoon.

Answer 6

Damn this is tuff i think that what you should do is maybe leave and then try calling her in a few days. I mean when i was with my bf we broke up cuz i would snap at him outta no where thats cuz i was heka jealous and everytime he would think bout leavin me i would do the same blame things on him like i did all this for u but to u is like nothing well thats wat i felt at the moment but one day he actually started thinking about him and he broke up with me and after i would call he would pik up the trik was that not being with me made me realize all the stupid things i used to say and sometimes i think to myself he was right on leaving me she just has to realize what she has and if she really loves you and you guys are meant to be you willl be together no matter wat.

Answer 7

That`s why it`s foolish getting married so young.Perhaps Her father had more sense !? Now You are married though ,stick it out-two months is nothing.`N guess what-if You thought that`s bad-it gets harder !!! Perhaps she`s moody coz she`s pregnant-could get a whole lot stormier.How long were You together before marriage.Makes You wonder ???

Answer 8

I have been in a situation with a guy,he and i grew apart and used to fight over the silliest things. It took me a while to wake up to myself that we had both grown out of love,but there is no point wasting your life on the wrong person,Life Is Short,Enjoy It :)

Answer 9

first of all sit down and try to talk to each other without yelling and screaming, if you two really love each other work your problems out. every couple and relationship have their problems but leaving is not solving it. have you ever thought about counsling. try it. its worth the shot. if your dead set of leaving go by your parents for a few days. let it cool down awhile and then try talking to her. life is to short for fighting over things. try to make your marriage work good luck.

Answer 10

it somewhat is gonna take time to conform with each and every thing! And it somewhat is gonna be very stressful. merely save your head up, and everythin' will merely be high quality. discover time on your previous pals on the weekends or in spite of. And as for makin' new pals, connect a club! or a game or in spite of! merely be you and merely have exciting =)) better of success!!