Can I finally act like a single person again?

Question

Well my wife and and I seperated in March. Every lawyer I have talked to told me flat out to act as if I was still married, and to not date anyone.

I have followed this advice and I havent been with anyone. Now its December the papers are in and the divorce is underway. Can I now FINNALY go get a girlfriend? or should I remein allone untill the final divorce decree?

Annother problem is trust. How can I trust anyone ever again? She has tried putting me through the ringer on this. Fortunatly enough for me I am intelegent enough to know when I am getting the short end of the stick. I don't think it would be fair to date another person if I am just going to second guess everything that they do as a ploy to try and take advantage of me. Are there women out there that actualy don't want to use a guy for petty revenge? or are those days past?

Answer 1

don't do anything stupid until the divorce is final. it is still considered adultery until everything is finalized. it won't be much longer, just hold out. also yes there are good, decent, trustworthy girls out there, just don't rush into anything fast. be patient and good luck!!

Answer 2

I'm in the other half of that position. I have been dating a man who's divorce is almost final, they have been living separately for well over a year. Although he treats me well I get the impression he's nervous and sometimes can't let loose. There have been instances where he's made me feel like our feelings for each other are inappropriate because he has kids; although I am very patient and understanding, this hurts. I don't know what to say except if you meet someone you're interested in take it slow and be very honest. Also demand honesty in return.

It isn't fair to feel like "the other woman" but with good communication this complicated situation will smooth itself over (wishful thinking ;-) Maybe?). Good luck and I hope you find honest, trusting love.

Answer 3

You should not date until the divorce is final...and not all of us are like her. I would never put any man through the ringer...its just not me. Some of us are good women. And if you are not ready to trust anyone then i would really wait a little while longer before you date again. And make sure you are very picky in who you date this time around.;

Answer 4

Wow....you need to get beyond this divorce thing before you get into another relationship....give yourself time to heal....there are alot of really fine women out there that would love to be in a relationship with a great guy that wants the same thing they do....love, companionship, trust...you are not ready for most of that...until you put the past hurt behind you, you should not enter into a relationship with someone else...they deserve better and so do you....healing takes time and it takes time to realize that you are a good person that deserves the same.....if you can't come to that on your own in short order, get some help....it is not easy to come out of a bad marriage without baggage..so you will have to deal with it...but don't subject someone else to the trouble that you were dealt by your ex.....that's no way for a fresh start.....I wish you luck and love in the future

Answer 5

I think the answer is yes if you lay all your cards on the table. If a woman can deal with your situation and she is willing, I say get out and have fun. As far as trust, you just have to jump in there with both feet and understand that the next woman isn't the woman that you married. Have fun and enjoy life.

Answer 6

My divorce papers are still being filled out, and I am dating again...dating only ONE guy. My soon to be ex gave me every reason in the book never to trust another guy again. But I always trust someone until they give me a reason not to. It might make me gullible, but I can't treat every guy like he is my soon to be ex. Not every guy is like him. I'm not all about revenge...only moving on. I can't live my life in the past and I am too old to be playing games. Not all women are out for revenge or games. There are women out there who want to be wined and dined and treated with respect. There alot of women out there who know how to treat a man. It's a two way street...you treat them with respect, and they will treat you with respect.

Answer 7

I met my husband while he was separated from his ex. We were engaged just before his divorce was finalized. I don't know why your lawyer told your to act like you were still married, some girls will have issues that you are married, and be afraid that you will try to go back to your ex. Why don't you first try to find a friend who is a girl, then let nature take it's course.

Answer 8

You should wait until it's fina. And it's ok to date people and not let them take advantage of you. Once they try to do that, cut 'em loose.

Answer 9

You COULD probably date but it sounds as if you need a breather. I'm sure you'll find the right girl when the time comes.

Answer 10

dont blame every woman for what your wife did because then you wont find someone. dont think of the past think of tomorrow and what it brings and go out their and find that special woman.