My bf cheated on me with my best friend. They had gotten a bit drunk at a party one night while i was out of town and they went together and so they thought since i was gone it would be alright this happened a few months ago and i soon found out once my friend told me she was pregnant but she wouldnt tell me who the dad was soon it spilled out i broke up with him and now he and she are going steady and they plan to raise the child together and get married when the time is right. Should i stay her friend and support her or not? The baby? My ex?
2006-12-08 11:42:26 · 31 answers · asked by madlion 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Only if you truly feel in your heart that you want to and that you wont be having negative feelings toward them. The coming baby doesnt need to experience that kind of negativity. If you cant then it's best to leave them alone until you can handle it.
2006-12-08 11:46:39 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
That is a horrible situation they put you in! I really think the answer to your question depends on how close you are/were to your friend. The most important thing is to stay true to your own feelings. If she is a good friend, I would suggest making the effort. The fact they hid the truth won't make the decision any easier. Just because you were not there, does not make what they did right. Not even close. Sooner or later - everything comes out. Just remember to make sure that all the cards are on the table. It could come back later and damage the relationship you build with their child.
Good luck, hope you find someone to treat you right.
Take care
=x0x=
2006-12-08 19:54:31 · answer #2 · answered by thirdlightfromtherest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry about that. That's huge! If you feel in your heart you can still be friends with the girl, than go ahead. Find you a new boyfriend and if she goes after him, she is defenitly not a friend. Did she ever apologize? She's very wrong for not even attempting to tell you what happend. But the present is now here, and she can't fix the past.
And neither can your exboyfriend who is an a** for doing what he did. But, again, if you feel you can be ok with him, then go ahead and talk to him. Forgiveness is always a good thing, so forgive them ok, because there's no use dwelling on what already took place and can't be reversed. I think you can find someone who won't cheat on you especially with a friend.
Krazy Libra
2006-12-08 19:49:13 · answer #3 · answered by krazy_libra_from_ac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on what kind of people they are. If they are truly more in love then you and him ever were and if both are otherwise honestly good people then it seems you should still stay in touch. There is also the issue of how you would feel about it. If you don't feel comfortable then there is no point in even starting until you have made peace with it. Keep in mind that you should first and foremost look out for your well-being.
2006-12-08 19:51:00 · answer #4 · answered by Karo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally would not. But it really all depends on your relationship with your friend, and the relationship you had with your ex. If this was my boyfriend, i have been with him for 2 years, and plan to marry him, if he ever cheated on me, no matter who it was with, i would need him to be out of my life, and who ever he is with to be out of my life. I know i am kind of over sensitive, but i would break down every time i saw them together. Plus, i would forever feel betrayed by both of them.
But maybe you should feel it out, and see how it goes. If you knew he was not the right one for you anyways, and you still love your friend, you might be able to be there to support them. Good Luck, and i hope you find the answers.
2006-12-08 19:49:14 · answer #5 · answered by Stark 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say the right thing to do would be to forgive, however this is very hard to do. I would say no, don't be their friend and don't support them. This child and seeing them together will be a constant reminder. They waited to you were out of town they preplanned this. What true friend would do this? Not many. You need to find a true friend and stay away from sleeze balls.
2006-12-08 19:53:15 · answer #6 · answered by rosa23231 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont support her.If it was an accedant she wouldnt be afraid to tell u who the dad was.How do u know she wasnt lieing the least ur BFF and BF can do is tell u the truth especially ur BF.U can be her friend but dont support her if she really needed ur support she would have told u the problem told her u she was really sorry,and she really needed ur help.But she didnt so its her fault.
2006-12-08 19:53:34 · answer #7 · answered by princessnbelle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If her friendship is important to you then yes give her all the support you can. Be civil to your ex, after all if you stay friends with this girl he will still be in your life in one respect.
As for yourself, you are a remarkable woman and deserve all the best. Go on with your life. There will be someone out there who rally deserves you.
2006-12-08 19:49:24 · answer #8 · answered by That_ blue_ eyed_ Irish_ lass 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're truly the only one that can answer that question. What do you feel in your heart? How do you feel about your *best friend*? How do you feel about your ex boyfriend? They chose to disrespect you by going behind your back and having sex, knowing you were in a relationship. I'm assuming, relationships come with some kind of committment towards one another? How do you feel knowing your best friend AND your boyfriend ... disrespected you? Do you *still* want to be friends with them knowing you can't trust them?
2006-12-08 19:49:17 · answer #9 · answered by restless_nymph 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have dumped her too. What kind of a best friend thinks it's ok to sleep with your boyfriend whether you're out of town or not? Being drunk is not an excuse for skanky behavior.
2006-12-08 19:45:29 · answer #10 · answered by Joanne B 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋