Why does my infant need to be held 24/7?

Question

My son is 6 weeks. When hes not being held he freeks out. Its not like we leave him in a room alone or anything, hes right there with us the whole time. He hates his swing, wont sit in his baby chair that sings and vibrates. He really is not content unless hes being held. We have daily things that we need to do and its very tiredsom having to sit and hold him all day. Any suggestions? He does sleep yes, but latley hes been up for like 4 hours at a time! HELP

Answer 1

You are stuck in a vicious circle. You hate hearing your little son cry so you pick him up, he has now learnt that as soon as he whinges, he gets cuddles from Mommy. I made this mistake up to my daughter being about 2 months old (now 4 months), i asked for some advice and got told to let her cry. I used to put her in her cot with her mobile on for company, then day by day i would get further out of the room. I would let her cry for about 10 minutes, (usually me crying as well!) after 10 minutes, i would go in, pick her up and calm her then put her back down in her cot. It is frustrating and takes time and patience, for you own sake, PERSEVERE!! My little one will now happily sit and watch me doing whatever i am doing, when i have finished, i will go and give her a cuddle as a reward for being so good.
One other thing that i have found a massive help . . . a bumbo!! You can use them from around 3 months or as soon as baby can hold their head up, get them form ebay or nursery/baby stores for £30.

Answer 2

First of all, i feel your pain. My 4 week old son started doing that last week. He is literally not happy unless he is being held (mostly by me, of course)! He has a couple of nights a week where i literally have to hold him for 5 hours straight (helloooo back and arm pain!). Not to mention the other hours during the day where i hold him, as well.

Second of all, your baby is just that: a baby. He communicates to you his needs by crying and one of his needs is being held. YOU CANNOT SPOIL YOUR BABY AT 6 WEEKS!!!!!!! Any doctor will tell you this. Letting your baby "cry it out" at this age can be damaging to them as you're basically telling them you won't tend to his needs.

I would serisouly invest in a baby sling. It lets your son be close to you as well as lets you get some work done around the house. He'll be a happy baby and you'll be a happy mommy!

And even if the sling doesn't work, don't despair. Your son will eventually outgrow this stage. And DO NOT be afraid to ask for help!! I know personally how exhausting it is to have a child who has to be held 24/7. Get someone to help you out so that you can take a break once in a while. You need it and it is NOT selfish of you! If you can't take care of yourself, you can't take care of your baby.

You're a great mom and you're doing a wonderful job! Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

What Blonde-mama said was perfect. Check out the website she listed, as well as www.thebabywearer.com for ideas on slings and carriers. There has been research that shows increased levels of stress hormones in babies left to cry it out, that they actually sleep more fitfully because of that, and in some cases can become severely detached. You can't spoil a baby with love and affection, or by showing him you're there and you're safe. My oldest was like that, we were never able to put him down... EVER. So we didn't. We held him and showed him that we were there and that we were doing our best. And now, he's almost 4, and he's seriously the sweetest child I've ever met. He's so concerned about other people, especially other children. A sling will help you to get stuff done, and maybe even help get the baby asleep enough that you can put him down. Good luck.

Answer 4

I have three children, my 2 sons were fine in swings, bouncer, slept in the crib. My daughter is now 1yr. When I first brought her home she loved her swing, but needed me most of the time. She also screamed until I held her and fell asleep in my arms. I am a single mom and cant do everything while holding a baby. I also nursed on demand. I bought a snuggler, that allowed me to have two free hands and still have my daughter close to me. If you nurse there is one that goes over the shoulder and around the hips. Because she had seizures from birth - 2 months I always had her with me. Grocery shopping, cleaning house and yard ect... The snuggler I found at toysrus for $25. It helped tremendiously. As time went on exersaucers were fun then she didnt like that anymore. I bought a Johnny Jumperoo. Since she loves to bounce around this was a great buy. Its also alot more stable than the johnny jump ups that attach to door frames. For the first 3 months I got no more than 1- 2 hrs of sleep a night. I also bought simple floor gyms (cloth ones w/hanging toys) this helped when she was 3 months. I didnt have alot of $$ so I went to resale shops and hit the sales in Jan at toysrus.

Answer 5

You may want to try to swaddle him. He was inside of you for 9 months so being alone might be scary for him. Be patient and embrace this time. It will pass by really fast. Also do not just let him cry your baby way too young to even be spoiled. He might just need his mom. Babies don't cry for nothing. 4 hours out of 24 is not that much. Take turns if you can. When you put him down, talk or sing to him so he hears your voice. Don't give up!!

Answer 6

Babies love to be held because it's good for their development. it's actually mother natures way of helping your baby to stay safe, secure, warm and thriving. You should try baby-wearing. There are great slings out there and babies love them! You wear your baby against your chest/belly area and they feel secure... nap and just hang out ... and you get your things done. Babies that are worn on their parents cry less... and grow up to be secure and well-adjusted people (because their needs were met during infancy). Don't ever let anyone try to tell you that you're "spoiling your baby" if you hold him all the time. You can't love/cuddle a baby too much!

I have a 10 month old son and I held him all the time. i don't believe in letting a baby "cry-it-out". i think it's cruel. You ignore their needs... you teach them they can't communicate with you and rely upon you to be their safe place. It might be easier to let a baby cry it out but it's not good for the child. There are studies that show that the reason babies stop crying after they've been allowed to "cry it out" isn't because they learned not to whine... but because they've given up because they feel hopeless... their attempts at communication were ignored! It's sad.

My son is NOT spoiled. He is sweet as can be and now can go much longer periods without me holding him if I so desire BECAUSE I held him when he was smaller... a lot.

There is a great site you should check out:

www.askdrsears.com/

Best wishes. And congrats on your new little one! :o)

Answer 7

Well, think about it! Your little darling was recently forced out of the most comforting, safe environment he'll ever be in. He longs for that closeness with you. I suppose you could look into having a friend or family member come hold the little one, but he does need that security of being held close to feel safe and content. It's the same for all babies.

Answer 8

loosen up. in case you do not have one greater set of palms (dad, grandma, grandpa, mom in regulation, chum, sister, neighbor, woman from church, anybody?)make specific he remains swaddled tight. this might provide him the sensation of protection and he won't awaken. additionally, do not placed him in mattress with you. that is purely not risk-free, somewhat with you being as drained as you're. Do you have a swing or vibrating bouncy chair? i might actually placed funds right into a single as quickly as obtainable!! they're a existence saver (besides as a back saver) My son slept in his bouncy chair for 6-8 hours right away. We went by using some batteries whether it became into properly worth it. Are you specific he's getting sufficient while he nurses? do not attempt to hurry him, a minimum of 30-40 minutes on the 1st edge then as long as he needs on the different. be sure you start up on the same edge you left off on the subsequent time. Do you have that finished and empty feeling? are you waiting to specific or squirt interior the bathe so which you recognize you have milk? final of all, if not something helps and all else fails, think of of it this variety... you acquire your self a snuggler!! 4 years from now this little infant boy won't even show you how to sneak a hug in much less a snuggle!! good success!! (and that i rather am sorry approximately your stressful subject)

Answer 9

I'm a new mom myself. Sometimes they get lonely I think. Lately I've found that letting my 12 week old daughter sit in her stoller while I do things around the house helps. That way she can watch me do things. To intertain her I talk silly to her. Tell her what I'm doing cause maybe she's learning this too. One day I put her in that carry strap thing that you wear. That worked. She actually fell asleep in it. The older they get the more awake and aware they are going to be. They can also see better now. So nice bright primary colors will be good. Hope this works out for you. O! and also my daughter never would take her nuk but now she seems to love that thing. I can give it to her and she stops crying and even falls asleep for a while.

Answer 10

A six week old baby is not going to get spoiled by holding him. If he's crying when you put him down it's because he's scared and he wants to be close to you. Just hang in there until he gets more comfortable. Just don't let it continue when he gets a little older because then he will get spoiled...my 9 month old is kinda spoiled because my mom and dad and sister are always picking him up everytime he wants up. You could get one of those baby sling things and hold him that way...then you can still get things done.

Answer 11

You & I are in the same boat, somewhat. My daughter is 6 weeks also. Since they are more aware now, they're probably a little frightened by what they are seeing. He probably can't see you or hear you and that's why he is crying. He knows if he cries he will be comforted. You should sign up for emails from Baby Center, they say a lot of interesting things about their development.