I'm afraid of my husband?

Question

My husband neglected me for about 8 months meaning no sex, no communication and no respect. He's a loving father but he's more interested in being our two children's friend then a dad. We both work full time and when I get home from work, no one even acknowledges that I'm there. I'm afraid of my husband because he tells anyone who will listen that I am a sick woman. He told me if I ever left him that he would put me away, I have been with my husband for over 20 years and anyone that sees me or knows who I am say that I'm such a happy person and very positive about life itself. I'm 41 and to this day people tell me every day that I'm a beautiful woman, I feel trapped. I just wish I could just feel a little appreciated an when I get home from work, when I come home most of the time we fight and he tells me it's because I'm sick meaning I have Bi-Polar which is a dis-order. People who are very depressed about life and angry and shout at the ones we love. But that's not me. We fight 24/7!

Answer 1

why waste time and invest more love in a man who constantly puts u down and finds falt with you. he puts u down and finds falt because he is the one who is unhappy, he is the one who is bi polar. he blames everything on you, he is not taking responsibility for any of it. he degrades u to other people, trying to make u look as if everything is his falt. he can't stand himself, but it is so easy to lay blame on someone else for his unhappiness. can u divorce him and make it financially? he can't put u away if u choose to leave him, he is just blowing smoke.

Answer 2

Your husband is telling you these things to keep you from leaving. He has you right where he wants you because you are now afraid to leave since he has threatend you! He only said that he would put you away to keep you from leaving cuz he knows that you wont leave him now knowing that's what he threatened to do. He tells others this because he is hoping to make you look like a bad person so you may not have anyone to turn to for help! As for your husband being more of a friend than a father to your children, that is only hurting them. They are seeing how he is treating you, they see that you both are fighting too! It really isn't good for them at all nor yourself! I would seriously consider leaving him. If you have to call the police when you leave, do it! You having bipolar is not a good reason to have you put away! Take your kids and get out of the relationship now! Call a lawyer and file a divorce. If you have family or close friends nearby, ask if you can stay with them until you find a place of your own. I would do this for the safety of you and your children. God bless and good luck!

Answer 3

This man thrives on the fact that he can keep you in an emotional and physical prison. He knows that you are a beautiful woman ( People wouldn't be saying it if it weren't true!) and that if you left, he would be the one who really lost out. Do you have a girlfriend that you can rely on? Someone who can honestly tell you that you can make it on your own if you left him? You need the support of a friend. Being Bi-Polar is not a serious enough condition for you to be committed unless you have done something violent. He simply uses your disorder as an excuse to keep you down. Time to move on! If you are usually a happy, positive person, can you imagine how happy and positive you could be without him? Imagine if you fell in love with a happy, positive man who adored you? Its out there! Go find it! Lots of Luck!

Answer 4

He sounds like the sick one to me, don't let this man put you down all the time, what about your relationship with your children?. Stop fighting with him just tell him you are tired of all the fighting and you are not doing it anymore. You work full time when you get home you deserve some peace and quiet so take it spend time with your children if you can, if you see a doctor about your problem talk to him about your husband's behavior maybe he can help, find time for some girl friends it helps if you have good friends someone to talk to.

Answer 5

From first hand experience...even tho I was never told I was sick but I was told that I would never be with anyone ever...which was also not true. I am happily engaged to a great man who treats me right. I finally after 6 YEARS of taking it... (with him for 10 years) I left him and the whole time he was cheating on me. I had to rearrange my whole life and my kids life. But it was all worth it and the stress levels will get high and the tension will get high. To be honest you dont have a marriage. I cant tell you to leave him. You have to find that within yourself. I did. I was in the hospital after almost being choked to the point of not breathing at all. I asked for a divorce and he got everything. I didnt care. I had myself back. You need to decide what you need to do and if you are scared, talk with someone first. But dont ruin the person that you are....dont let him ruin that. Every person deserves to be loved and respected from someone.
Hope this helps....

Answer 6

If you are not happy in your current situation, get out. Start looking into legal matters regarding your children. You can get a PO box and the mail sent there for correspondence. Even though he may be a good Dad, its not good for the children to see the two of you acting the way you do. Once you have everything set, then leave, or kick him out. Get a jump start on things and he won't be able to do anything. If he suggests to the courts or anyone that you are crazy or need help they will look into your medical ground background and go from there. They can't do anything on just his word.

Answer 7

I think the one with the issue here is ur husband. I think he has insecurities about himself and he is try to make u feel bad so he can feel better about himself. If u seriously feel threatened or afraid for your life, regardless if he's a godd father then u need to think about your kids and leave, Talk to ur pastor, a close friend, family, anyone who is not associated with him.
Try talking to him and ask him what is going on with him, why does he treat u like that. Remember this you deserve:RESPECT, especially after 20 years + of marriage and putting up with all his nonsense. Good LUck....

Answer 8

Research Emotional abuse, & look for the "Power & Control Wheel." It looks like he's very insecure of himself and attacks you as a way to feel superior to you. You are positive, beautiful, & maybe he resents you for it. Maybe he's failing at work or just hates himself and takes it out on you.

I've lived this once. No amount of counseling would make a dent in his abusiveness. I left 4 years later.

Answer 9

This is called emotional abuse. He if you ever get a divorce cant put you away. Think about what you really need and it seems as though you dont need him. He isnt fit for you maybe he has some underlying issues with his self esteem. It makes him feel better to see you down. You dont need that.

Answer 10

Don't you think his Bi-Polar? Please don't bought yourself and think maybe your crazy because your husband said so. Do you really think your mental? It don't sound like it. Your husband sounds like he is. You need to get strong in turn the table on him. Tell him I think your mental and Bi-Polar I'll have you turn in, don't play with me buddy. You need to get strong with him. My soon to be ex husband would say things like that too. He say I think your crazy and I really think your KO KO I tell him no it's the other way around MR. Don't let no one miss up your head like that. you need to read ten stupid things women do to mess up their lives by Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger, and most men like him are cheaters are you sure his not cheating because it sounds like it too. Girl you need to start fighting back and find out if he is cheating you better start making notes. Write everything down and make sure you put in a spot that he can't find.