How do I deal with this? I love my fiance, but I can't stand the attitude of his 7 year old son. He isn't all THAT involved of a father, and his son irritates him too, but not as much as me. I live with this little monster!
2006-12-08 10:10:32 · 18 answers · asked by Chichen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Its going to take the both of you to resolve how you feel about the little boy. Together, you can work on the problem at hand. Remember, this is a little boy whose already been possibly thru alot with the separation of his parents. He may feel insecure and is reacting. Its hard for a 7 yr old to describe his feelings. Something may be bothering him..something that his parents havent noticed or figured out. Dont hate him, help him..hes need someone to listen. I wish you the best.
2006-12-08 10:20:33 · answer #1 · answered by ~~PoEt~~ 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The child wont go away, they are forever and its up to your fiance to deal with his behavior, trust me I am on the other end of the stick, My son is hyper active and can be a handful, and its hard on the bio parent and worse for the step parent. Children especially when they are not yours can and do change relationships and alot of people end up splitting up because of them. I know my son has been a source of issues in my relationships.
Your fiance needs to be the parent, you are involved of course, as is my sons step mom to be, (who is a saint ).. But your fiance needs to really start working on controlling the behavior, and if he isnt not that involved as a dad that could be a huge reason his child has an attitude he may be seeking attention in anyway he can. Good luck.
2006-12-08 10:19:09 · answer #2 · answered by rottie110 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How would you feel if you were 7 and your Dad chose a woman over you. Something is terribly wrong with this kinda of thinking. That small child needs a parents love. And if you can't get in there and try to be a part of this child's life, then pack up and move on down the line. You, ... where as his son can't, ... can take care of yourself. Your a big Girl!
2006-12-08 10:18:42 · answer #3 · answered by smplyme132 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Partners may come and they may go, But a child is there forever. Its a package deal honey. And what do you mean that his father isnt that involved? Didnt you say he lives with you? What do you guys do, ignore him? He is supposed to be the best role model of the young boys life. The only monsters described here are you and the dad, come on hes only 7. Be the adult here.
2006-12-08 16:09:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is hard because the son will always be first to your fiance and if he is a rude child now, it will only get worse. I would really think about this commitment and maybe consider counseling for this. IT is really serious and the rest of your life. A child is constant energy and attention. Maybe you could learn to bond with him and figure out some discipline methods that are effective. This might help your relationship with him and remember he is going to act that way if he is allowed.
2006-12-08 12:37:10 · answer #5 · answered by Maizy * 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but this question really pushes my buttons. I feel so sorry for that little boy. He NEEDS his father. If he's not that involved, that's a shame. It's a shame you can't be an adult and encourage him to be more involved. You need to realize your fiance had a life before you that included a commitment to a CHILD. If you can't handle that, do everyone a favor and get out of the relationship.
2006-12-08 14:32:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The child is part of the deal. Having a step-daughter that annoys me to death, I understand your situtation. You need to talk with your fiance about your concerns. Tell him what you feel and why, perhaps even talk with the child about it as well. This child will be in your life for a VERY long time, and trust me -- the sooner you bring it out in the open and find a resolution..the better off everyone will be.
2006-12-08 12:57:49 · answer #7 · answered by ChristyD 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should think long and hard before marrying this guy veru soon, because the kid is part of the package. And if dad has no control over this kid and how he treat HIM, (as well as you), wait until he is 13 ---OMG do you both have a biiiiggg surprise when testosterone hits.... I've seen good parents reduced to total frustration at age 13.... moms and dads in my classroom (usually Feb of grade 8) absolutely about to hang the brat. Good luck, hon, and think again. Don't marry him yet. get all of you in counseling as a minimum
2006-12-08 10:58:50 · answer #8 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all...stop calling her a brat, she is only in this type of behaviour because her mommy and daddy are no longer together. How do you think she feels about her daddy getting married to some other woman who can't even love her. Your words are very obvious that you will make a horrible stepmother. Choose your words carefully my dear. Children need love..not to be called brats. You are marrying this man and the whole baggage comes with him. If you can't handle this...boy, you are in trouble and you will cause problems for this child.
2006-12-08 10:27:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must remember that no matter what, that child was there before you were and will be apart of the family (for better or worse) for the rest of your lives. Your actions will be scrutinized by the child's mother, the child's family, and your family. If you want to work things out, you should go to see a family counselor that specializes in this type of family issue. Otherwise, it will only get worse once you are married.
2006-12-08 10:28:24 · answer #10 · answered by Jason C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋