In college and pregnant...advice please?

Question

I am 20 yrs old. I have been with my bf for 5 years and of course we're going to be engaged and married. He makes 42k/year and will make 54k next year. I have 5 semesters left of school until I become a High school French teacher.
What do you think of my situation?
Will we be struggling with money or is that enough to support a family?
How should I tell my parents/grandparents who are religious and don't even believe in LIVING together before marriage?

What was your experience and advice

Answer 1

Well maybe you could be better prepared but everything happens for a reason. Can you take a break from school when the baby comes (you can go back as soon as you feel like it). I think that sometimes the struggles can bring a family closer and enrich and appreciate when you do "make it" then you have the hard times to look back on and say we did it. As far as your family, tell them when you are ready and do not listen to the critisizm, you should be commended for keeping the baby, going to school and staying with the father. Good Luck and God Bless you.

Answer 2

If everyone waited until their life is perfect to have children, there would not be many people in the world. Yes, you will have some stress and will have to make sacrifices, but you will also have joy and a happiness and a love you cannot even imagine until you have that sweet baby in you life. Things have a way of working out. As for your parents and grandparents, just tell them that you are human and you made a mistake but you are an adult and you are doing the best you can and if they love you, I am sure they do, they will love you unconditionally, no matter what you have done and support you. I am very close to both my children 20 year old son and 16 year old daughter and if one of them came to me and told me this, the first thing I would do is hug them so tight and let them know they are not alone and they do not have to be scared I will always be there to help them. BUT...if you would ask them what would your mom do if you told her you were pregnant (or my son got a girl pregnant) they would probably say they would be afraid to tell me and probably say "she would kill me." Kids do not give us moms enough credit, we love our kids and want you to come to us when you are in trouble. As for those few parents that are not like that and would turn away from their kids for this, then you go on and be a better mom to your child and live a happy life despite them, but give them a chance to show you how much they love you. Best wishes to you sweetie.

Answer 3

Well, you will be struggling a bit, but if you tighten your belts things will be fine. Poeple live on way less money and have happy lives.

The good news is that with two dependants added on, his taxes will be less. It will offset some of the extra expenses of raising a child. But I owuld start learning how to clip coupons and staying with a strict expense budget. The more you save now, the more you'll have later. There are a lot of parenting magazines and online sources you can check. Find out where secondhand baby clothes and cribs etc can be found. Remember the only one who needs a cute crib is you... the baby doesn't care. Just make sure what ever you get is safe and certified.

There are social assistance programs for pregnant students and new moms while in school. Talk to your counsellor about them. These range from financial assistance to daycare and flexible school hours.

Good luck with the parents! On a good note, they may be pissed at you two.. and they WILL be... but in the end no deserving parent will ever disown their kid when in trouble. So, toughen up your skin now, but keep your cool and give them time to adjust. The best way is to just tell your parents first, then others in your family. There is no point delaying it, eventually they'll know anyway! In the meantime remind them that a wedding is planned.. and save the wedding cash for later. Stay with a cheaper civil service and home party instead. Later on in a few decades when you are more secure you can splurge on the dream ceremony doing a vow renewal.

Good luck!

Answer 4

I've been there and done that. Make an appointment with your counselor at your school and tell him about your situation. With a family and being in school you are eligible for both free health care, free food, and grants from the government (A few thousand a semester!). If you need more info e-mail me and I'll be glad to tell you where to go and the names of the organizations. Don't feel bad about getting government help for a while, we're taxpayers too! I'm currently in nursing school and have a 17 month old and a 6 month old.

Answer 5

You can attend college and have a child at the same time. I know someone that ended up having 2 children while in college. She was married, and her husband didn't make much money, but they still got by. She didn't take any time off from school while she was pregnant. In fact, she finished college early. She did everything (double majored and took a minor) in 3 yrs instead of 4!! She had the first child during her 1st year in college, and the 2nd kid during her senior year. She also got a ton of financial aid from the college because she had 2 kids which made her independent for financial aid purposes).


Don't worry, I'm sure you can do it too!

Answer 6

Sweetie, I was there. I was 19 when I got pregnant with my baby. My boyfriend (now husband) only made about 24k/a year. He got a second job so I could stay home. I've since had to cut back on my classes, mainly for financial reasons. I'm still going to be a high school English teacher, it's just going to take me longer to get there. I just came out and told my mom. She was okay with it, since she had me at the same age. My dad and I fought until my baby was born, but have since reconciled. My extended family was disappointed, and we still struggle from time to time. It's your baby. You and your boyfriend know you were going to get married, now it's just a matter of changing the date. Give it time, they'll get over it. You'll do fine finacially. Make sure you apply for the FAFSA as soon as you file your taxes. Being an unwed mother will get you more money for school.

Answer 7

Ok dont worry first of all you wil be jsut fine...i promise...I am also 20 years old. Full time in college, and due any day now...to make matters worse i got pregnant 3 monts into my relationship and thankfully our relationship was and still is wnderful and now we are very excited to have this baby...I chose to do internet classes this fall semester which is bout to end now so that i did not have to go to classes and sit at a desk while being pregnant, which has been wonderful and very helpful. If your school reccomends it i would def do it. Ill tell ya what i have alot of advice i could give ya and answer many of your questions, so how bout you im me my address is kalismommi and thats on yahoo, i hope your able to im me cause honestly we are kinda in the same boat...and i promise you things will work out!!

Answer 8

That is more than enough. You just have to know what to spend your budget on. Obviously a baby cost a lot. medical bills depending on your husband's plan at work, and baby food, diapers, etc. I think, eventhough your parents are religious and don't believe in that, they will still love your baby. and don't worry they will get over it. just tell them the truth, let them know if both you and your bf want to get married, just that the time is off. Or if they don't like that, then do the paper work and hold the big wedding party for the following year or something.
I currently will be done with school myself in about 7 months, we have our own house, and we have two business and i also work outside our two companies and we have lots of bills, but we always seem to have enough to pay the bills and have spending money. I wouldn't worry about it.

Answer 9

you'll be fine just live within your means,

If you don't get married right away , you'll be eligible for financial aid and wic for your baby, i would say that those benefits out weigh the marriage,

you'll have to claim the baby on your taxes but, i think tuition , and wic are worth it pluss you'd be eligible for childcare expenses,

he can of course sign her birthcertificate ect...

and help you out and you can live together.

but his salary id too high to receive benefits, and not high enough to support the school, baby, everything.

my husband makes 50 a year we have a mortgage of 1500 per month, 2 car payments at 300 per month each, and 200 for ins
cable, lights, heat, electric,gas, phone, internet, and the baby costs 500 bucks a month, in diapers ect...even if you breast feed,

I am a stay at home mom and that cuts out child care which you will need if you go to school, it costs 250 per week

now if your not married your eligible for child care and can use the money to pay your mom or a friend or your husband, if you don't marry,

I know your parents are gonna freak out, but you could just have a ceremony, but not a legal ceremony, and no one would know but you.and him,

I mean christmas is coming and you could surprise them by paying a minister of sorts just to perform the ceremony 75 dollars, it would relax them,

but personally the benefits of abstaining from marriage right now are more than if you did,

If you come from a pretty well to do family, and so does he and they'll financially help you then, fine go for it, but personally, i don't think you can make it on that money,

the only reason we are making it is because my mother inlaw sends us 2000 per month.

however the government standards say that for a family or 5 the poverty level is 47,000 per year-

so we are 3000 bucks over the povertyl level,

hope this helps , and good luck

Meg

Answer 10

I think first and foremost that you should NOT drop out of school. Keep going, even if it is only part time. It will seem like a hard thing to do in the later months of pregnancy and after the baby is born but keep going. It is enitirely possible to support a family on 52k, I use to support one on 20k and no welfare with just me and my baby- and me going to school. You just have to be responsible and careful about your purchases for awhile. Obviously, your parents are just going to have to deal with this, it's your life after all. It's not like you just got pregnant by some random guy, you are engaged to a man who can support a family and that you obviously love. Sure, they may be upset but the birth of your baby will make them come around.