I have a female friend who i've been cool with for a while. We are like good buddies. Recently she's been seeing this dude and i think he's verbally abusive to her which i don't like. He acts a fool over the smallest things and he calls her names. She's only been seeing this guy for about 4 months and i KNOW she can do better than this jerk! She says he's only joking but are you joking if you call your girlfriend a stupid b--ch? Or a fat b--ch? I know this bothers her but she tries to act like it doesn't. One time she was over his house and she cooked for him and washed the dishes and she told me he went off on her for using to much dish washing liquid and he called her a dumbass. Yet she seems to want to still see this nut and it really bothers me that she would let herself be abused like that. She is a nice looking girl and she is a little overweight and i think that's why she thinks she has to settle for this scum. I want to slug this guy myself. Any suggestions on what to do here?
2006-12-08 09:22:10 · 12 answers · asked by Cool Breeze 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I have talked to her about my concerns and she just said she just doesn't take his comments personally but i know her well, and i know the comments hurt her. I'm tellin you i'm on the verge of knocking this punk the f--k out cause i really don't like him at all! But i don't want to ruin my friendship with her over this idiot.
2006-12-08 09:37:41 · update #1
That's really unfortunate. The only way you can help your friend is to be her support. One of my ex-boyfriends was verbally abusive, but he was always really mean one minute and really nice the next. So when he was mad, I assumed he was joking, even though it really hurt me. I had many friends like you, even male friends, tell me that he was no good and had no respect for me and so on, but like I said, I dealt with it because I figured his meanness was temporary. Eventually the verbal became physical, and that's when I learned. But you have to be her moral support when she needs it. And as far as wanting to slug the guy, my guy friends actually threatened him many times, but it only made it worse on me. I wouldn't recommend it. Just keep trying to help her see that she deserves much better. She'll remember it in the end. Good luck.
2006-12-08 10:28:54 · answer #1 · answered by Roni 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Omg, that sounds horrible. I can't stand bad parents, they're the worst thing in the world. They simply don't seem to care how much power they have to ruin the entire life a child has in front of them. I don't know about the legal hurdles your parents would face in trying to adopt her, but I imagine they have little recourse (there's not much they can do). I mean, if there were consent on both sides I don't see why it wouldn't be a problem... BUT...as that seems unlikely, this is something your friend is just going to have to deal with. I know, "deal with it" is the kind of advice none of us ever wants to hear, but it is unfortunately a fact that so many children suffer the grave misfortune of being born to lousy parents, and if she's going to survive in this world under those conditions SHE HAS GOT TO develop a thick skin that can handle it. She needs to get out whenever possible. Let her come over as much as possible BUT you guys--especially her--shouldn't neglect your homework, because if she's ever going to get away from her monster of a father, she'll need the education to take her out of there! And WHERE THE HELL IS HER MOTHER in all of this?
2016-05-23 07:33:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, she has to realize that she deserves better than this guy. It is possible she has low self esteem and does not feel like she deserves any better. I would suggest that you talk to her about this in a nonconfrontational and nonjudgemental way. Tell how amazing you think she is and that you don't think it is right that the guy is treating her like that. Tell her she does not deserve that kind of treatment and she is worth more than that. Then leave it alone. You are her friend and it will be good to let her know that she does not deserve what she is getting. However, what she does with your advice is up to her. Hopefully she will follow it, but if she does not, then let her know that you will always be there for her.
2006-12-08 09:38:19 · answer #3 · answered by TLC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right to be offended by the way this guy treats her. However, she's the only who has to deal with him. Too bad that she accepts the verbal abuse. The words you mention are not to be taken lightly by her .... they offend her. Until SHE SEES THROUGH THIS, unfortunately, you cannot do anything.
Have you given her a hint? If you did and she ignores you, I'm afraid there's nothing you can do. You and I know already that the situation will only worsen, so let's hope it's just a question of time before she dumps him.
2006-12-08 09:35:09 · answer #4 · answered by maryc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a talk with her. Ask her why she is putting up with this guy. When you talk to her don't make any statements as to what you think or feel about what is happening to her. Let her tell you why she is putting up with him. As she tells you be empathetic and if she asks you for your opinion then give it but be careful you don't put the guy down to begin with because you may hurt her feelings since she may look at him much differently than you.
2006-12-08 09:27:56 · answer #5 · answered by Lewis P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing that you can do is be there to pick up the pieces when she does decide to ditch this loser. Also be there to listen if she wants to talk, but if you try to push her to ditch him she will most likely tell you to back off. So just stand really with a shovel and broom to sweep up the pieces when she is ready.
2006-12-08 09:26:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do the same thing he does. Call him asshole and keep going. Kick him to the curve. We have feelings and don't have to take this bull. Wake up we are humans also.
2015-08-28 05:42:18 · answer #7 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she has self esteem problems continue to be there for her remind her what a good catch and person she is. also tell her that lots of times verbal abuse will often lead to physical abuse. he sounds like a real *** i wish i could beat his punk *** my self
good luck
2006-12-08 09:30:44 · answer #8 · answered by hardwood 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah YOU tell him to shut the **** up or your gonna do somethin about it. I hate it myself when i hear about guys mistreating girls and abusing them. I've beat the **** outta three guys already for that ****.Hopefully he will stop but most dont, their just assholes
2006-12-08 09:26:09 · answer #9 · answered by playboy10888 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Join in. verbal abuse is always funny.
2006-12-08 09:25:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋