I know someone who goes through there husband's things, searches the computer, his PDA, wallet, vehicle, cell phone, etc. All because she found an email address in his address book with no other information. But, through searching she discovered he had a profile on a personals web-site. So, do you think it was wrong for her to snoop or do women have the right to check up on their husband?
2006-12-08 09:04:04 · 31 answers · asked by Kristen H 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
By the way, this is a friend who asked me for advice. I need people to give me some ideas what to write her!
2006-12-08 09:09:26 · update #1
She supposedly wasn't snooping when she found the email address. She was looking for a phone number. She said that her husband had lost his wedding ring and then found it outside on their front porch like it had been in his pocket and had dropped when he got his keys out or something. Her husband has been acting sheepish too. I have no idea what to email her!
2006-12-08 09:21:57 · update #2
What's mine is yours, right? That should go for his car and phone... My man takes money from my purse for his nasty cigarettes but gets weird about his wallet, like I should back off... What's the difference? I have nothing to hide, maybe he does. If she found something, then obviously she needed to look. Good for her. Now tell her to get out of there...
2006-12-08 09:17:15 · answer #1 · answered by ♥ Butterfly ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It's an invasion of privacy and it's only justified if indeed something incriminating is found. Up until that point she was a distrustful snoop who isn't worth his fidelity. Who's to say he isn't justified trying to find someone else with a snoopy wife like that going through all of his things?
Which violation of trust is worse, his or hers? He's a jackass for creating a personals profile. (Is she sure he's currently active on it?) On the other hand, personal privacy is something we're all entitled to. She violated his privacy and found out he may have been attempting to be unfaithful. She broke a rule in finding out he broke a rule. How do you suppose that would hold up in a court of law?
If he's cheating or trying to cheat on her there may be more to their relationship than meets the eye. There are two sides to every story so I'd hold off passing judgement until you get the whole picture.
2006-12-08 17:14:34 · answer #2 · answered by Peter D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why was she snooping in the first place to find the email. I totally believe if you look long and hard enough you will find something. So she shouldn't be doing it at all. Since she is in this position now she shouldconfront her husband. Communication is key here. She needs to get things out in the open...so that she can be at peace.
Now on the other hand if she is ready to leave this bum continue to snoop to get info to have against him in divorce court.
Best of Luck
2006-12-08 17:17:26 · answer #3 · answered by whoamitojudge 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem isn't her looking for proof of his cheating. The problem is she feels something is wrong. The bad thing about looking is you will find something. Then what? Once you know your husband/wife is cheating you have to make a decision. Are you leaving or staying? so she needs to get busy, stop being so caught up into what he is doing and make him spend some time wondering about her whereabouts. Go take a swimming lesson, or learn to play the piano.
2006-12-08 17:51:46 · answer #4 · answered by Vivian G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I have no secrets, so she has been known to go through my emails and check my Internet history from time to time. I don't consider it snooping, though. Whatever it takes for her to feel secure. I'd rather she hired a private eye and knew I wasn't cheating on her than have her wonder. If you're cheating, and you get caught, I don't care how you get caught, you're guilty. Now, if you're not doing anything and you are being snooped on, you deserve to get some kind of reward for being innocent
2006-12-08 17:43:34 · answer #5 · answered by Sean J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, its not wrong to snoop if your husband seems to be up to something. If they are doing something wrong they are not going to just come out and tell you. My husband always seemed sneaky and when I would ask him questions he would deny that he was doing anything wrong. Well, after snooping in his computer I found out that he had been having an affair with a co-worker for two years of our three year marriage. If I hadn't snooped he'd still be cheating on me to this day....
2006-12-08 17:24:36 · answer #6 · answered by Carrie 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
a profile in it self is not really all that bad is it?
sometimes when couples are fighting, separated or not getting along you get links to dating sites all the time. I probably get 5 a day, you might be curious to see what is out there.
Couples sometimes get frustrated in their relationships and wish they weren't in them, the Internet is just a tool and maybe he was just checking to see whats out there.
It is no worse than you talking to your friends or going out with your single friends and "seeing" whats out there, maybe you pretend to be single and flirt and lead men on, you might even exchange phone numbers with no real intent of ever calling them, women do this all the time.
I think your blowing this way out of proportion and you shouldn't be snooping.
Now if he is using this dating site to talk to women and meet them for dates that is different, that would be cheating, but you still shouldn't be snooping, let the private eye do the snooping.
good luck.
2006-12-08 17:14:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like her husband needs to be more like "Sean J" so that he can get rewarded. That fact the she discovered he had a profile on a personals web site is his own fault. When you keep things like this from your spouse this is what happens. So know she isn't wrong.
2006-12-08 17:50:01 · answer #8 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I walked by my ex-wife's computer and saw a name on messenger I didn't recognize. I didn't say anything at the time. I logged on to her account and the name wasn't there. I looked and found a secret e-mail account. The rest is history. But I don't regret snooping.
2006-12-08 17:08:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No; it isn't. Follow your suspicions and it will lead you to the truth. You'd be surprised what happens to marriages that even look strong. I had this problem and my suspicions were correct. At least if you know something is going on you can make plans for yourself without his knowledge. If it comes down to it, tell her to leave smart and get the assets in order before he knows it. Lastly, it is not wrong, the wrong thing is he is not open and hiding from her. There should be no extracurricular activities going on with other woman other the wife.
2006-12-08 17:23:08 · answer #10 · answered by stockqueen 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋