My husband is tripping. I asked him a simple question when I called him today and he hung up the phone on me. He is upset because I am not over losing our baby just 2 months ago. All I asked was at the Christmas dinner I am preparing a few dishes for at his Unit, would there be a lot of pregnant women there. That is all I asked. he hung up the phone on me and turned off his cell.
Then, I finally got him on his office phone (after he told one of his soldiers not to answer our number on caller ID, I know) he told me not to call him back and hung up again.
Now, I am thoroughly pissed. I want to get even. I am thinking about just packing some things and my kids and going to a motel for the weekend. Is this a good idea? Does anyone have any other suggestions?
2006-12-08 08:49:18 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he is that insensitive to you, then leave him. If you lost a baby just 2 months ago, of course you are not over it. He should be more supportive and obviously has serious issues himself if he does that to you. To be honest, he is acting like a jerk!
2006-12-08 08:55:18 · answer #1 · answered by Elizabeth Howard 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Decisions made in anger don't usually turn out well.. I know cause I've messed up royally in my life. Your husband is a strong man, a soldier, who has to have a hard facade. The loss of a child, even unborn, is also very difficult for a man; the difference is, most of us guys won't talk about it. Your husband is angry because he doesn't want to be reminded that he lost a child. When you bring it up, he feels, something he would probably rather avoid. You may find this incredibly callous. He is your husband, he is supposed to love you and support you. Please keep in mind that you are likely employing two different coping mechnisms. He wants to put it behind him, you want to heal in a different way. I wouldn't advise storming out, because us guys tend to react to that with pride and or anger, which won;t help anyone. You could try, breifly and calmly, to explain to your husband that you are just trying to deal, and that you would appreciate his understanding, maybe reassure him that this will pass, then drop it for the time being. That way he will remain calm, and probably will want to comfort you, in his way.
I am so sorry for your loss, but I hope you will be ok.
2006-12-08 16:58:32 · answer #2 · answered by White and Nerdy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hes probably upset of the whole matter too. You keep bring up things to do with babies and he trips!! He is still upset. Just dont bring it up for a while. Let him cool off. ITs not right that he is doing this but give him time. It will all work out. Dont leave because he already lost one thing, imagine what losing another important thing might do to him?
Hope this helps!
2006-12-08 17:15:53 · answer #3 · answered by ClaralubsEli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely have to improve communication. If you keep getting angry at each other the relationship might be affected. Remeber this experience was hard for the both of you and now more than ever you must support each other and be strong. Try to go to a place where you can talk and express your feelings without judging and remeber that you have other children that need you to be together.
Good luck!
2006-12-08 16:55:12 · answer #4 · answered by MissLatteandMocha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband should understand your position. There is communication gap between both of you. Try to talk to him when he is cool and and if the situation does not improve you should take the step of going to a motel for the week end so that he can realize your importance.
2006-12-08 17:10:51 · answer #5 · answered by Pramod 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to realize that how you feel is probably affecting him and he may not be over the lose of the baby either and the question about pregnant women may have triggered these emotions again.
You need to sit down and talk to him about it. Don't leave or the problem will only get worse.
2006-12-08 16:53:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow...u have every right to be pissed...he was being a jerk...but i have to be honest, now my advice is to stay and don't take the kids...this could lead to a bunch of other problems...and wud also involve the kids unnecessarily...calm down first and think rationally...i think u r just in the heat of the moment...don't get me wrong i don't mean roll over and take it...just don't do anything now...sounds like u both have a lot of growing up to do. Gud Luck!
2006-12-08 17:00:22 · answer #7 · answered by Retarded Genius 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you two are both immature (sorry)..he should understand your part coz losing a child is really a big deal..he should show concern and just be postive about it, not turning you down..and on your part,if you walk away, you'd have a hard time facing the problem if you come back..
2006-12-08 17:00:39 · answer #8 · answered by black r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, maybe he's upset too about the loss. I know it's no exscuse, but maybe it got to him when you asked that question. I think that instead of getting back at him, because that won't help anything, you should talk to him about it. heart to heart. If you try to get even, it will just get worse and you two will be fighting. Just talk it out.
2006-12-08 16:54:55 · answer #9 · answered by nothing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband in an insensitive jerk. He figures that because he's over it, you should be too, and he's tired of having to deal with your feelings. Stop cooking and let him pickup a bucket of chicken on the way to his party. Stay home and enjoy your time with the kids. Plan to do something special with them.
2006-12-08 16:56:29 · answer #10 · answered by Harley 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋