I want to hear some full length parodies of " 'Twas the Night Before Christmas" related to american history!!!

Question

Like, it could be about a place like the White House or Valley Forge. Use your imaginations and please use the full length of the origional poem.

I will give the best answer to the one I like most!

Answer 1

Please go to the Christmas website, you will get vast material to choose from which is by any standard much better than what has been suggested by one Zero Cool.

Answer 2

Hm... ok... I've done this before, hold on.

'Twas the night before Christmas when all through Yahoo
Not a user was stirring, no, not even you!
The stocking screen saver was saved with great care
In the hopes that all egifts would soon arrive there

The children were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of avatars danced in their heads
And my spouse and I, having finally logged out
Went to bed after a bit of a pout

When straight from the speakers cacophony erupted
And I thought to myself "has the hard drive corrupted?"
Straight away to the keyboard I rushed, almost manic
All my data erased? I thought in a panic

Tore open my C drive and threw open the files
And seeing it safe, I smiled many smiles
When right in front of my wondering eyes
Chuck Norris appeared in a Santa disguise

That old martial artist, so lively and quick,
Broke free of the web with one roundhouse kick
Much faster than lightening, his fighting moves came
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name

Now slap punch and trip, now flip and subdue
On grappling, round-housing, on thumb-wrestling too!
On top of the roof or down the long hall
I'll round-house, I'll round-house, I'll round-house kick all!

That's all I've got so far.
Hey, Yahoo and Chuck Norris are part of our history.

Answer 3

ZERO COOL appears to be a woman with a complex. She has a negatively oriented mind. She has 35 votes to manipulate best answers. You deserve a better reply by a better person.