What to do when your husband acts like he's not attracted to you anymore?

Question

My husband and I have been married for 2 years. In the last few months he just acts like he is not interested in me at all. I don't know what has made him this way. When we first were together we had a very healthy sexual relationship. Now it's like pulling teeth to get him to want to have sex with me. He works a lot and I know that has something to do with it, but come on! I'm 25 and he's 32. There is no way the sex drive is already going. He never tries to make little gestures towards me anymore like he use to and he never tells me I'm beautiful anymore. He use to tell me all the time. It makes me very self conscious. Have I just become a total dissaster since we got married or what? Please help me try and get my husband back in the sack!!

Answer 1

Depends on how you treat him. The most beautiful woman in the world won't hold her husband's attention if she treats him like dirt. Women still think men are all about sex, when in fact men have emotional needs that, when not met, they turn off to their wives. Try being a better wife out of bed and see if he doesn't respond.

When a wife treats her man like he's one of her children, when she puts him down or thwarts his need for autonomy, adventure, risk, competition, challenge, and conquest, she ends up with a sullen, uncooperative, unloving, hostile lump.

Answer 2

You've only been married for 2 years? And he's already neglecting you? That must hurt and must be so fustrating. It sounds like you two need a holiday. I know that him working alot has got to be playing a big part in his lack of interest. Men are very bad at focusing on two things at once and he probably feels that he hasn't got much time for love, a man's role is to work hard and bring as much money in as possible to keep a roof over your head and bread on the table but i can imagine that working too hard can make you forget other things. You're still young, you two should really sit down and talk. Try hard to get some time off work and go abroad for a week or two. Don't hesitate to ask him to sit down and talk, don't nag, you can't get through to men that way. Talking to each other is so important, you need to understand each other. Don't ever blame it on yourself, That can make things seem so much worse. It's certainly not your fault. I wish you the best of luck and i hope it all gets better.

Answer 3

1.) Have you changed at all? Gained a few pounds maybe? If so, take a month get heatly and shed those pounds. when he asks you why are are you working so hard. Tell him you just wanna get hot and sexy for you. He will Like that. Dont forget Man are very Visual

2.) Have you changed things up? Keep everything new. Different Hair Style, Different Cloths, Perfume, attitude. Its easy to get stuck in a routine. Break the cycle, Maybe even a wig.

3.) The most important. Communication. Its hard to just talk about it straight forward, so go through the back door. Ask him Who his fav female celebrity and Why. Ask him to pick out your clothes for the day. including underwear. Ask him what are his wildest fantasies are. Of course tell him to forget about the threesome.

Bottom line is, you have to find out what turns him on most. He probably doesnt tell you cause he doesnt want to freak you out. Maybe its your confidence. Ask him to email you his fantasies.

Answer 4

I'm not sure if you're my wife or not (could very well be from the sound of it). Are you the same as when you first got married? Do you still go do all the fun stuff you did when you first got married? I'm not talking about stuff in the bedroom, I'm talking just going out and having fun with friends and stuff? Have you put him on the back burner for kids or anything?
When my wife and I first got married we would go do fun stuff together, even after the kids came. The past few years or so she just never wanted to go do stuff with just me. She'd drive to another city to go have a night out doing things she says she doesn't like with her friends but if I want to do something it's too much of a hassle. Well, I was a lot more loving then and did everything I could think of to make her want to do things with me (including telling her stuff I said in this) but she still acted like she just didn't really care about doing stuff with me. I barely touch her anymore and don't really care to either. I don't know if she just doesn't want to go out with me because I'm so boring or unattractive. I don't know if I'm just being taken for granted. It could be that she's so boring she's unattractive to me. Going out with just us and no kids is needed to because if I don't get that all I ever really see her as is "mommy" and I feel like a big pervert doing naughty stuff with the sweet little kids' mommy. Whatever it is though, I just don't get that excited about her like I used to which is depressing. When I fantasize about being with another person I'm fantasizing about being with my wife from a few years ago, not some stranger.

Answer 5

Maybe he thinks since the two of you are married...he doesn't need to do the romantic gestures anymore. Men are weird like that. TALK TO HIM. COMMUNICATION IS KEY HERE. Just tell him that you don't feel like he "wants" you anymore. You know he's a busy man and understand that you can't have sex EVERY night....but when he doesn't initiate it at all anymore...it makes you feel unwanted. Ask him what has changed.

Answer 6

Don't bother trying. I've learned recently from this exact thing and apparently all men love sex, want it all the time, and if they aren't getting it at home tjhey are getting it elsewhere. Apparently men feel they are entitled to "variety" and when he gets bored with you there's nothing you can do about it. He's selfish. Period. Find out who he's sleeping with, smack them both and get out while you still can. With any luck there are no kids involved yet. Sorry, but I have to accept this fact of life too, and it sucks, I know. Good luck to you.

Answer 7

show him some attention and respect. if you did certain things before you were married, go back to that. Do not scold or argue about this issue or others, treat him as you want him to treat you. sex is not everything in a marriage but it is a nice part of being a couple. talk - spend time as a couple

Answer 8

I think that's a symptom of marriage... I know I feel what you feel sometimes, but it's reversed other days... There are days that his little flaws just gross me out... You can't know someone as well as most married people do and not get weirded out by them or tired of them now and then... Seeing your body used to be exciting, but he has it memorized now... But try to remember the little things that sparked it before... And do things to make yourself feel beautiful, because your confidence will show through... Good luck!! ♥

Answer 9

well- start getting dressed cuter, do you hair different, get in shape and see what he says. That's the problem with us women ( just like men) we get COMFORTABLE whenw e get married and don'tt hikn we need to look our best or dress a little better. The spark of love needs to be lit all times or you will loose you man to a more attractive, fun woman!

Answer 10

Put a stripper pole in living room and get some clear heel shoes. Works every time.