I just recently found out that my husband has been unfaithful, what can I do to feel better?

Answer 1

Pull a Lorena Bobbitt on him while he is sleeping.

Answer 2

Did you find out by him telling you or by other means? If he owned up to it and apologized maybe there is some hope. Either way you found out you need to be tested for STDs and he needs to pay for it. It does not matter that you are still married, or if you share a checking account. He needs to pay for it with his own money.

If he cares about you at all you can make him feel pretty low by educating him on cervical cancer and genital herpes. After all he needs to realize that he put you at risk. He is an adult who can end the relationship if he needs to, but there are zero excuses for him risking your health.

I have dealt with this issue. He kept telling me that it had nothing to do with us, but I disagreed. This made him get mad and say that I do not own him...I felt much better when I proved to him that although I do not own 'him' I do own 'my sex life'. His deception forced me into a situation that could be unhealthy for me, treatment could cost a lot of money, and I could become infertile. This is mental rape. No man has the right to trick me into becoming involved in a potentially life threating activity. Men like to work with logic more than emotion, and these medical facts appeal to their logical side. I just felt better knowing that he couldn't really argue back, because the affair made me feel powerless...and I liked seeing him lose a little power also. Not sure if that will help you, but sometimes it helps to at least hear that someone else is dealing with the same problem and can empathize.

Let me tell you something, it has been 3 yrs since I found out and I am still very angry. Sometimes relationships are not worth saving, but it is so hard to know. I stay because he gave me genital herpes and I don't want to be alone. I am not even 30...

Answer 3

Your relationship will never be the same , every time you get in a fight and he's complaining about something ,You'll want too say ,but you cheated , how dare you find fault with me or at least I'm not a cheating lying dog .your just dragging out the inevitable by staying in this situation.You'll never trust him again if you meet someone tempting ,you won't feel the need to be faithful and you will never fell good about what he did .Even if time passes and you forget ,something will happen ,maybe a movie or song and all the pain and anger will come rushing back.Maybe you thought losing him would hurt to much ,but this will hurt longer .cold hard truth.

Answer 4

I could come here and give you some smart alack response...but as a husband who has experienced my wife being unfaithful, this is nothing to joke about.

To be honest, I would be neglecting you by telling you what you should or shouldn't do to 'Feel' better.

The key however is that your husband made the choice, he was unfaithful, not you. You are innocent of this action.

As you have asked, I can only recommend to seek wise counsel, find someone whom you can scream to, cry with and simply go through the process of emotions associated with this betrayal.

Once you have come through the emotional roller coaster you will need to evaluate your marriage. However to evaluate your marriage, you will both need to evaluate yourselves individually.

I can share that my wife and I, married 16 years this past November, have gone through our fair share of issues...Unfaithfulness being one of them. However we learned that we each carry our own baggage, and I learned that in order for our marriage to work, I had to first humble myself and admit my own issues. In addition I had to lead as a husband and take action on my issues.

Counseling, Self-Discovery, Support Groups...these are all resources to truly help oneself and ultimately one's marriage.

Be careful, there are some great resources about marriage and how to do this or that better, how to put excitement in the bedroom, etc...If the individual in the marriage is not healthy inside, then external changes will be band-aids that are destined to come apart later in life.

My heart goes out to you...My Prayers are being lifted for you and I hope that you can find the support you need to get through this very painful time.

Answer 5

Take him on Dr. Phil. If you don't figure out why he cheated on if he deosn't fix that problem then he is gonna keep going outside of your marriage. There are reasons why men or woman cheat. Im sorry that that happened to you. I bet you feel horrible. Sometimes a divorce always isn't the answer. Sometimes you can fix the problem but, it's his problem that he needs to fix. You didn't do anything wrong. Im sorry sweetie!!! Good Luck!! Go and rent Waiting to Exhale. It will make you feel sooooo much better. I promise!!!!

Answer 6

Leave him. Surround yourself with your friends and family and stay busy. I

t wouldn't be right for you to go out and meet other men already, thats too soon, and you arnt emotionally stable to meet new men yet.
Pamper yourself. Treat yourself like the beautiful woman that you are.

And you should be treated like that by your husband and if he cant do that for you than your better off without him. But if you do really love him and he does want to make things work then try some couples counseling...

I wish you much luck, love, and happiness!

Answer 7

I don't know what will make you feel better, probably not much, because the trust you had is gone and your relationship with your husband is badly damaged. Everyone says things like ' if that ever happenned to me i'd do this or that' but really no one knows how it feels until it happens to them and then most of us are just like you and don't know what to do. I know it hurts. Hope you can work it out.

Answer 8

if this is the first time he has done this find out what type of affair it is. one-night stand/long term. if he is willing to end affair and go to counseling try to give it a shot. this happened to me. i had just had our second child it was absolutely devastating. we are still together it has been about a year ago. he knows he scewed up and he know next time is the last time we have been together 10 years. i still have a hard time with it sometimes and he carries alot of guilt ironically our marraigre is better in alot of ways then it has ever been good luck

Answer 9

You have to decide if the indescretion was a one-time issue or a continuing problem. Once that decision is made you must decide if you love him enough to work through this issue, seeing as this will affect many issues namely trust. Marriage and love are never easy, you must be willing to work through a myriad of problems in your relationship.

I would recommend against doing something out of vengence though, as you will most likely regret it and feel as if you have lowered yourself to his position.

Only you can decide what the right answer is at this point. :-\

Answer 10

First you need to give yourself time to process the feelings of betrayal and then decide whether the marriage is salvageable or not. This is a huge amount of emotional pain to go through so try and find a therapist or a good friend who will allow you to talk and vent your feelings of anger and sadness. You need to grieve the loss of trust. Good luck to you.

Answer 11

Well, I know what I would do but that is not good, so, my advice would be to rip all the pictures you have of him and send them to him with a little letter stating the fact that you wish him and his tramp all the best of luck and the pictures represent your over him. Then beat the hell out of your pillow. Let it all out and then tell yourself you are better than them and you will make it. She will probably cheat on him or he'll cheat on her. You deserve better than that piece of sh*t. Be really nice to him and he'll be scared. he is probably waiting for you to through a fit and grovel and want him to come back. the suspense will kill him. Good Luck Sweetie and take care of yourself. you'll have plenty of opportunities now to find a decent guy.